I turned 30 today so I'm giving away a Playstation2 in this thread! - Page 4 - GoFuckYourself.com

bjjb · 08-27-2004, 05:38 AM

A woman walks into an appliance store and tells a salesman she wants to buy this particular tv. The salesman says sorry we dont sell to blondes. She gets all indignant and walks out. A few days later she decides shes gonna show the sales man and besides REALLY wants that tv. So she puts on a dark wig and glasses and goes back to the store. She tells the salesman she wants to buy that tv, and again he says, sorry we dont sell to blondes. By this time shes really desperate and needs a tv, so a week or so later, she gets her hair color changed to black, changes her contact color to brown and puts on a really crappy looking dress and granny boots and goes back. She tells the salesman she wants to buy that tv, and again he says sorry we dont sell to blondes. The lady starts crying and making a scene. Te manager comes over and asks what the problem is. She tells him that the salesman wont sell her that tv cause shes a blonde. The managers says, "Lady thats a microwave."

Sarma · 08-27-2004, 05:40 AM

Lol, i found a pic from our police. The pic was taken about 2km near my home

bjjb · 08-28-2004, 11:09 AM

There was once a kid who overheard his parents screwing. His father told his mother,"Oh, you have such nice big titties!"
His mother told his father,"Oh, you have such a big, long cock!" He asked his dad what titties and cocks were. His dad Told him,"Titties are big hats that women wear, and cocks are big long coats that men wear." The next day, he overhears his parents arguing. His dad calls his mom a bitch and his mom calls his dad a bastard. He asks his mom what a bitch and bastard are. His mom tells him,"Well, a bitch is a woman and a bastard is a man." It's the night of the thanksgiving dinner. He walks by the bathroom while his dad is shaving. His dad cuts himself and says,"Shit!" He asks what shit is. "Oh, it's just this stuff I'm getting off my face now." He then walks into the kitchen, where his mom is stuffing the turkey. She slices her finger with a knife and says,"Fuck!" He asks what fuck is. She tells him,"It's what I'm putting in the turkey." The guests arrive,and the kid wants to show off His new vocabulary. "Hi, there, bitches and bastards. Allow me to take your titties and cocks and hang them up for you. My daddy's in the batroom wiping the shit off his face and my mommy's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

bjjb · 08-28-2004, 11:11 AM

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off the bus at the next stop. When the bus starts on it's way the driver says to the hippie, "I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you". The hippie says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery and pray's to God. If you went dressed in a robe and glow in the dark paint mask she would think you are god and you could command her to have sex with you. The hippie decides this is a great idea, so on Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun to show up. At midnight sure enough the nun showed up, while she was in the middle of praying the hippie jumped out from hiding and says. "I AM GOD" I have heard your prayers and I will answer them BUT ... first you must have sex with me. The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity because she is married to the church. The hippie agrees to this and has his way with the nun. After the hippie finishes he stands up and rips off the mask and shouts "Ha, Ha Ha I'm the hippie!!" Then the nun jumps up and shouts "Ha Ha Ha I'm the bus driver!!"

bjjb · 08-28-2004, 11:14 AM

A little old lady went into the headquarters of a large national bank one day, dragging a large bag behind her. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.

The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?"

The old lady replied, "I make bets."

The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"

The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."

"Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!"

The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"

"Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"

The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?"

"Sure!" replied the confident president.

That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.

"Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the heck's the matter with your lawyer?"

"Nothing," she answered, "Except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00AM today, I'd have the president of this bank's balls in my hand."

bjjb · 08-28-2004, 11:15 AM

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on the butt and said, "If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent.

The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra."

This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by his penis. With a death grip in place, she said, "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener, the postman, the poolman and your brother."

Dirty F · 08-29-2004, 06:39 PM

Who won?

cool1 · 08-29-2004, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Battuss
Who won?

I was wondering the same thing

exposed · 08-29-2004, 06:50 PM

I thought this was a new thread =p

exposed · 08-29-2004, 06:50 PM

jOdEs · 08-29-2004, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by eiht_98

muahaha...

Betray · 08-29-2004, 06:51 PM

What do you never want to call a black person,
if the word starts with n and ends with r.

guess

Floridiot · 08-29-2004, 07:10 PM

How did germany invade poland?

they walked in backwards and said they were leaving

bjjb · 08-29-2004, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Battuss
Who won?

Yeah wasnt he sposed to announce my nick as winner yesterday and ak for my address to send that PS2?

Corleone · 08-29-2004, 09:51 PM

Happy Birthday

MikeHawk · 08-29-2004, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by HighOnAcid
Today is my 30th birthday and because I'm so happy I actually lived to see it, I'm giving away a PS2 in this thread!

Whoever makes me laugh the hardest (joke, funny pic, photochop job, etc) - I don't care what it is as long as it's funny. I'll pick the one that makes me laugh the hardest on Saturday and will send out the PS2 on Monday.

I love to laugh so let's go...make me laugh and win a PS2!

Happy B-day.....

pornstar2pac · 08-29-2004, 10:15 PM

congrats on 30. I turned 30 in Jan.

FYI-it sucks for now on

bjjb · 08-29-2004, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pornstar2pac
congrats on 30. I turned 30 in Jan.

FYI-it sucks for now on

Wait till youre pushing 40 like me. THEN it starts sucking. And shit starts hurting too.

eiht_98 · 08-30-2004, 01:02 AM

so...who won the ps2?

wm_cibi · 08-30-2004, 02:02 AM

Happy B-day.....

wm_cibi · 08-30-2004, 02:03 AM

wm_cibi · 08-30-2004, 02:22 AM

chesca · 08-30-2004, 02:33 AM

happy birthday

Manowar · 08-30-2004, 02:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bjjb
A woman walks into an appliance store and tells a salesman she wants to buy this particular tv. The salesman says sorry we dont sell to blondes. She gets all indignant and walks out. A few days later she decides shes gonna show the sales man and besides REALLY wants that tv. So she puts on a dark wig and glasses and goes back to the store. She tells the salesman she wants to buy that tv, and again he says, sorry we dont sell to blondes. By this time shes really desperate and needs a tv, so a week or so later, she gets her hair color changed to black, changes her contact color to brown and puts on a really crappy looking dress and granny boots and goes back. She tells the salesman she wants to buy that tv, and again he says sorry we dont sell to blondes. The lady starts crying and making a scene. Te manager comes over and asks what the problem is. She tells him that the salesman wont sell her that tv cause shes a blonde. The managers says, "Lady thats a microwave."

Manowar · 08-30-2004, 02:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by wm_cibi
Happy B-day.....

those are fucking excellent

coolfuck · 08-30-2004, 03:24 AM

ok here is mine :

Invisible Bikini-lol

Single Man...

penis enlargement

Tricksy · 08-31-2004, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by wm_cibi
Happy B-day.....

it's Hilarious,man! Thanx 4 laugh!

bjjb · 08-31-2004, 09:37 AM

See sig for a good laugh. Who won?

Corleone · 09-01-2004, 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by eiht_98

wm_cibi · 09-01-2004, 10:35 AM

Who won?

bjjb · 09-01-2004, 10:39 AM

Seems it was all a scam. Here it is wednesday and ity was sposed to be sent out Monday. Hmmm Go buy a PS2. Get it faster

bjjb · 09-01-2004, 10:41 AM

or........... maybe he got so fucked up drunk that nite he completely forgot about it... or he got locked up and is sittingin jial waiting for bail.

Dirty F · 09-01-2004, 06:48 PM

So who won.

eiht_98 · 09-02-2004, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Battuss
So who won.

I did not see him posting at all in the last days.

pushpills · 09-03-2004, 03:03 PM

Dirty F · 09-03-2004, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pushpills

axelcat · 09-03-2004, 03:12 PM

happy birthday

malakajoe · 09-03-2004, 03:15 PM

Just wanted to say Happy Birthday...this is me

I don't really have anything funny, but I will share my hot mistress with you as a birthday present.

lazzlo · 09-22-2004, 07:59 AM

grumpy · 12-13-2005, 09:55 AM

So who has won this competition??

grumpy · 12-14-2005, 12:22 AM

still would like to know, looks like its the second time he is pulling this shit

Rob · 12-14-2005, 12:29 AM

Bitterpen won it you dumb fuck! And I sent her the Console with like 6 brand new fucking games. Might want to do a better search next time, dipshit!

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showth...=bitterpen+PS2

Rob · 12-14-2005, 12:34 AM

Why don't you contact her and ask her what she got.

What a fucking MORON!

08-27-2004, 05:40 AM	#159
Sarma Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Europe Posts: 715	Lol, i found a pic from our police. The pic was taken about 2km near my home __________________ I make up to $175 per sale, how about you? -> MoreNiche.com

08-29-2004, 06:50 PM	#166
exposed Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: unknown Posts: 1,449	I thought this was a new thread =p __________________ "I felt victimized by the Ian Eisenbergs of the world" - Mary Burger

08-29-2004, 06:50 PM	#167
exposed Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: unknown Posts: 1,449	__________________ "I felt victimized by the Ian Eisenbergs of the world" - Mary Burger

08-29-2004, 07:10 PM	#170
Floridiot Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: fort lauderdale Posts: 1,346	How did germany invade poland? they walked in backwards and said they were leaving __________________ Need custom Tshirts? i provide quality shirts, screen printing, and personalized labels with your logo. For a catalog email me at: [email protected]

08-29-2004, 10:15 PM	#174
pornstar2pac Omaha Hi/Lo Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 17,380	congrats on 30. I turned 30 in Jan. FYI-it sucks for now on __________________ Trump haters gonna hate. that's all they can do

08-27-2004, 05:27 AM	#151
eiht_98 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: EU Posts: 6,103

08-27-2004, 05:27 AM	#152
eiht_98 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: EU Posts: 6,103

08-27-2004, 05:28 AM	#153
eiht_98 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: EU Posts: 6,103

08-27-2004, 05:29 AM	#154
eiht_98 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: EU Posts: 6,103

08-27-2004, 05:29 AM	#155
eiht_98 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: EU Posts: 6,103

08-27-2004, 05:30 AM	#156
eiht_98 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: EU Posts: 6,103

08-27-2004, 05:31 AM	#157
eiht_98 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: EU Posts: 6,103

08-27-2004, 05:38 AM	#158
bjjb Have laptop will travel Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: 145201426 Posts: 13,074	A woman walks into an appliance store and tells a salesman she wants to buy this particular tv. The salesman says sorry we dont sell to blondes. She gets all indignant and walks out. A few days later she decides shes gonna show the sales man and besides REALLY wants that tv. So she puts on a dark wig and glasses and goes back to the store. She tells the salesman she wants to buy that tv, and again he says, sorry we dont sell to blondes. By this time shes really desperate and needs a tv, so a week or so later, she gets her hair color changed to black, changes her contact color to brown and puts on a really crappy looking dress and granny boots and goes back. She tells the salesman she wants to buy that tv, and again he says sorry we dont sell to blondes. The lady starts crying and making a scene. Te manager comes over and asks what the problem is. She tells him that the salesman wont sell her that tv cause shes a blonde. The managers says, "Lady thats a microwave."

08-28-2004, 11:09 AM	#160
bjjb Have laptop will travel Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: 145201426 Posts: 13,074	There was once a kid who overheard his parents screwing. His father told his mother,"Oh, you have such nice big titties!" His mother told his father,"Oh, you have such a big, long cock!" He asked his dad what titties and cocks were. His dad Told him,"Titties are big hats that women wear, and cocks are big long coats that men wear." The next day, he overhears his parents arguing. His dad calls his mom a bitch and his mom calls his dad a bastard. He asks his mom what a bitch and bastard are. His mom tells him,"Well, a bitch is a woman and a bastard is a man." It's the night of the thanksgiving dinner. He walks by the bathroom while his dad is shaving. His dad cuts himself and says,"Shit!" He asks what shit is. "Oh, it's just this stuff I'm getting off my face now." He then walks into the kitchen, where his mom is stuffing the turkey. She slices her finger with a knife and says,"Fuck!" He asks what fuck is. She tells him,"It's what I'm putting in the turkey." The guests arrive,and the kid wants to show off His new vocabulary. "Hi, there, bitches and bastards. Allow me to take your titties and cocks and hang them up for you. My daddy's in the batroom wiping the shit off his face and my mommy's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

08-28-2004, 11:11 AM	#161
bjjb Have laptop will travel Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: 145201426 Posts: 13,074	A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off the bus at the next stop. When the bus starts on it's way the driver says to the hippie, "I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you". The hippie says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery and pray's to God. If you went dressed in a robe and glow in the dark paint mask she would think you are god and you could command her to have sex with you. The hippie decides this is a great idea, so on Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun to show up. At midnight sure enough the nun showed up, while she was in the middle of praying the hippie jumped out from hiding and says. "I AM GOD" I have heard your prayers and I will answer them BUT ... first you must have sex with me. The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity because she is married to the church. The hippie agrees to this and has his way with the nun. After the hippie finishes he stands up and rips off the mask and shouts "Ha, Ha Ha I'm the hippie!!" Then the nun jumps up and shouts "Ha Ha Ha I'm the bus driver!!"

08-29-2004, 06:39 PM	#164
Dirty F Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 59,204	Who won?

08-28-2004, 11:14 AM	#162
bjjb Have laptop will travel Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: 145201426 Posts: 13,074	A little old lady went into the headquarters of a large national bank one day, dragging a large bag behind her. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?" The old lady replied, "I make bets." The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!" The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?" "Sure!" replied the confident president. That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. "Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the heck's the matter with your lawyer?" "Nothing," she answered, "Except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00AM today, I'd have the president of this bank's balls in my hand."

08-28-2004, 11:15 AM	#163
bjjb Have laptop will travel Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: 145201426 Posts: 13,074	One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on the butt and said, "If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent. The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra." This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by his penis. With a death grip in place, she said, "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener, the postman, the poolman and your brother."

08-29-2004, 06:51 PM	#169
Betray Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Toronto Posts: 346	What do you never want to call a black person, if the word starts with n and ends with r. guess

08-29-2004, 09:51 PM	#172
Corleone C.R.E.A.M Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 15,262	Happy Birthday

08-30-2004, 01:02 AM	#176
eiht_98 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: EU Posts: 6,103	so...who won the ps2?

08-30-2004, 02:02 AM	#177
wm_cibi Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 663	Happy B-day.....

08-30-2004, 02:03 AM	#178
wm_cibi Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 663

08-30-2004, 02:22 AM	#179
wm_cibi Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 663

08-30-2004, 02:33 AM	#180
chesca Registered User Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 1	happy birthday __________________ ICQ 317674607 [email protected]

08-30-2004, 03:24 AM	#183
coolfuck Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 2,440	ok here is mine : Invisible Bikini-lol Single Man... penis enlargement __________________ WANT TO PLACE YOUR TEXT/BANNER HERE? MSG ME:ICQ Number :43-420-088 Last edited by coolfuck; 08-30-2004 at 03:25 AM..

08-31-2004, 09:37 AM	#185
bjjb Have laptop will travel Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: 145201426 Posts: 13,074	See sig for a good laugh. Who won?

09-01-2004, 10:35 AM	#187
wm_cibi Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 663	Who won? __________________ ICQ: 82-100-033

09-01-2004, 10:39 AM	#188
bjjb Have laptop will travel Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: 145201426 Posts: 13,074	Seems it was all a scam. Here it is wednesday and ity was sposed to be sent out Monday. Hmmm Go buy a PS2. Get it faster

09-01-2004, 10:41 AM	#189
bjjb Have laptop will travel Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: 145201426 Posts: 13,074	or........... maybe he got so fucked up drunk that nite he completely forgot about it... or he got locked up and is sittingin jial waiting for bail.

09-01-2004, 06:48 PM	#190
Dirty F Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 59,204	So who won.

09-03-2004, 03:03 PM	#192
pushpills Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: CHICAGO Posts: 3,700

09-03-2004, 03:12 PM	#194
axelcat Adult Locals Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: West Coast Posts: 25,450	happy birthday

09-03-2004, 03:15 PM	#195
malakajoe Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Sacramento Posts: 1,751	Just wanted to say Happy Birthday...this is me I don't really have anything funny, but I will share my hot mistress with you as a birthday present. __________________ Selfpleasure.com for sale on auction. Closes on Tuesday March 11th at 9pm PST!!!! Dirty enough to be good, but clean enough for everyone! ------------------------------------------------------------------ Moral Police - First graduating class coming soon! - Forcing our values across the internet

09-22-2004, 07:59 AM	#196
lazzlo Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Toronto Posts: 3,709	__________________ Buy my ads \| Sign up now

12-13-2005, 09:55 AM	#197
grumpy Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Holland Posts: 9,870	So who has won this competition?? __________________ Don't let greediness blur your vision \| You gotta let some shit slide icq - 441-456-888