Why It's Great To Be A Guy - GoFuckYourself.com

AndyMike · 08-20-2004, 11:28 AM

1- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

2- Your orgasms are real. Always.

3- Your last name stays put.

4- The garage is all yours.

5- Wedding plans take care of themselves.

6- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

7- Car mechanics tell you the truth.

8- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

9- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

10-Same work, more pay.

11-Wrinkles add character.

12-You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

13- Wedding dress $2,000.00; Tux rental $34.00

14-If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

15-People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

16-New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

17-One mood, all the damn time.

18-Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.

19- A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.

20-You can open all your own jars.

21-You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

22-Your underwear is $6.00 for a three-pack.

23-If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

24-You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

25-Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

26-You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "he must be mad at me."

27-No maxi-pads.'

28-If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

29-You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

30-You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

31-You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.

32-The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

33-Your belly usually hides your big hips.

34-One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

35-You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

36-Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.

37-The world is your urinal.

DamageX · 08-20-2004, 11:34 AM

Read these before, they still crack me up though.

Doctor Dre · 08-20-2004, 11:38 AM

Quote:

10-Same work, more pay.

word

Doctor Dre · 08-20-2004, 11:38 AM

Quote:

13- Wedding dress $2,000.00; Tux rental $34.00

The guy ends up paying it anyways ...

Shoehorn! · 08-20-2004, 11:39 AM

mardigras · 08-20-2004, 11:40 AM

I'm not so sure about #1

gornyhuy · 08-20-2004, 11:41 AM

So true.... good shit.

THere should be something in there about parallel parking.

loverboy · 08-20-2004, 11:41 AM

7- Car mechanics tell you the truth.

AndyMike · 08-20-2004, 11:41 AM

HAHAHA Depends on who you work for.

Quote:

Originally posted by mardigras
I'm not so sure about #1

gornyhuy · 08-20-2004, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by mardigras
I'm not so sure about #1

I guess if the job was twink pornstar...

Manowar · 08-20-2004, 11:46 AM

hadnt read these before, good ones

Tom_PMs · 08-20-2004, 11:48 AM

Those are good, lol.

For the record, I use sidecutters for my fingernails. Works like a charm.

I've only worn 1 pair of sneakers for the last 5 or 6 years. They cost me about $15 on clearance.

EviLGuY · 08-20-2004, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AndyMike
1- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

2- Your orgasms are real. Always.

3- Your last name stays put.

4- The garage is all yours.

5- Wedding plans take care of themselves.

6- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

7- Car mechanics tell you the truth.

8- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

9- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

10-Same work, more pay.

11-Wrinkles add character.

12-You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

13- Wedding dress $2,000.00; Tux rental $34.00

14-If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

15-People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

16-New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

17-One mood, all the damn time.

18-Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.

19- A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.

20-You can open all your own jars.

21-You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

22-Your underwear is $6.00 for a three-pack.

23-If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

24-You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

25-Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

26-You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "he must be mad at me."

27-No maxi-pads.'

28-If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

29-You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

30-You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

31-You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.

32-The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

33-Your belly usually hides your big hips.

34-One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

35-You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

36-Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.

37-The world is your urinal.

Old but always good for a laugh.

08-20-2004, 11:34 AM	#2
DamageX Marketing & Strategy Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Former nomad Posts: 14,293	Read these before, they still crack me up though. __________________ Whitehat is for chumps If you don't do it, somebody else will - true story!

08-20-2004, 11:39 AM	#5
Shoehorn! Die With Your Boots On Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Hawaii Posts: 22,872	__________________

08-20-2004, 11:40 AM	#6
mardigras Bon temps! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: down yonder Posts: 14,194	I'm not so sure about #1 __________________ .

08-20-2004, 11:41 AM	#7
gornyhuy Chafed. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Face Down in Pussy Posts: 18,041	So true.... good shit. THere should be something in there about parallel parking. __________________ icq:159548293

08-20-2004, 11:48 AM	#12
Tom_PMs Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 2,049	Those are good, lol. For the record, I use sidecutters for my fingernails. Works like a charm. I've only worn 1 pair of sneakers for the last 5 or 6 years. They cost me about $15 on clearance. __________________ You've read it, you can't unread it.

08-20-2004, 11:28 AM	#1
AndyMike Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 85	Why It's Great To Be A Guy 1- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. 2- Your orgasms are real. Always. 3- Your last name stays put. 4- The garage is all yours. 5- Wedding plans take care of themselves. 6- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid. 7- Car mechanics tell you the truth. 8- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut. 9- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. 10-Same work, more pay. 11-Wrinkles add character. 12-You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. 13- Wedding dress $2,000.00; Tux rental $34.00 14-If you retain water, it's in a canteen. 15-People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. 16-New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 17-One mood, all the damn time. 18-Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. 19- A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase. 20-You can open all your own jars. 21-You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 22-Your underwear is $6.00 for a three-pack. 23-If you are 34 and single, nobody notices. 24-You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. 25-Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 26-You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "he must be mad at me." 27-No maxi-pads.' 28-If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. 29-You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. 30-You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 31-You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes. 32-The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. 33-Your belly usually hides your big hips. 34-One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. 35-You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. 36-Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes. 37-The world is your urinal. __________________ ICQ: 173294127 [email protected] Need more traffic? Try JustUsBoys.com for massive traffic from the largest gay community online.

08-20-2004, 11:41 AM	#8
loverboy When it rains, it pours Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 20,609	7- Car mechanics tell you the truth.

08-20-2004, 11:46 AM	#11
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	hadnt read these before, good ones