Why It's Great To Be A Guy
 

1- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

2- Your orgasms are real. Always.

3- Your last name stays put.

4- The garage is all yours.

5- Wedding plans take care of themselves.

6- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

7- Car mechanics tell you the truth.

8- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

9- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

10-Same work, more pay.

11-Wrinkles add character.

12-You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

13- Wedding dress $2,000.00; Tux rental $34.00

14-If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

15-People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

16-New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

17-One mood, all the damn time.

18-Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.

19- A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.

20-You can open all your own jars.

21-You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

22-Your underwear is $6.00 for a three-pack.

23-If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

24-You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

25-Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

26-You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "he must be mad at me."

27-No maxi-pads.'

28-If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

29-You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

30-You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

31-You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.

32-The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

33-Your belly usually hides your big hips.

34-One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

35-You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

36-Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.

37-The world is your urinal.

Read these before, they still crack me up though. :1orglaugh

word

The guy ends up paying it anyways ...

:1orglaugh

I'm not so sure about #1:winkwink:

So true.... good shit.


THere should be something in there about parallel parking. :2 cents:

7- Car mechanics tell you the truth.

:1orglaugh :thumbsup

HAHAHA Depends on who you work for. :Graucho

I guess if the job was twink pornstar... :1orglaugh

hadnt read these before, good ones :1orglaugh

Those are good, lol.

For the record, I use sidecutters for my fingernails. Works like a charm.

I've only worn 1 pair of sneakers for the last 5 or 6 years. They cost me about $15 on clearance.

:1orglaugh

Old but always good for a laugh. :1orglaugh