See/Post the SICKEST JOKE you've ever heard! - GoFuckYourself.com

MichealK74 · 04-09-2001, 03:14 PM

Ahhhh Fuck it!

One more thread... Lets see who can come up with the sickest, most twisted joke! After all, we are webmasters and should have the inside track on such things! I think the other pedophile joke down the line was kinda old, this one is a bit newer, and twice as sick!

A man and a little kid were walking into the deep, dark woods, and the child was clutching the mans hand. The man stopped and said " Listen. you think YOUR scared? I'm Walking out of here alone!"

Lol! Ok, that was bad, but geez, I see fisting and puking and scat stuff all day long, so it don't bother me to much, and I would like to hear corpsies favorite joke as well, bet thats some sick shit!!

Well, whatcha got!??!

Kat - Fast · 04-09-2001, 04:15 PM

Little Pete was sitting ih the house bored, so he went up to his Mum, "Mummy, can you play with me?"

"No son, Mummy is busy right now, go and see your Daddy." So Pete runs into the garage, "Daddy! I'm bored! Come and play with me?"

"Sorry son, I'm really busy at the moment, why not go and ask Grandpa, he's in the garden."

So Pete runs down to the garden and sees Grandpa, "Grandpa! Grandpa! Come and play with me!"

Grandpa looks hard at Pete, "Come into the shed and I'll show you a magic trick..."

"Right then, close your eyes..."

"OK Grandpa"

"Can you feel my hands on your shoulders?"

"Yes Grandpa"

"Can you feel me taking off your pants?"

"Yes Grandpa"

"Can you feel my thumb in your bum?"

"Owww, yes Grandpa"

"Now open your eyes, can you see both my hands in front of your face?"

"Ouch, yes Grandpa!"

"Haha, 'magic'!"

I laughed my ass off - but chickened out of letting my surfers see it!

Lord Assmore · 04-09-2001, 05:28 PM

A guy says to his wife, "I'm in the mood for some 69."
She says, "It's that time of the month, but if you don't care, I don't care."
They go into the bedroom, and are 69'ing like mad dogs when the doorbell rings.
She says, "Answer the door."
He says, "But my face is a mess."
She says, "It's just the postman. Answer the door, and if he says anything,
just tell him you were eating a jam sandwich."
He opens the door and says, "I'm sorry about my mouth, I was eating a
jam sandwich."
The mailman says, "I wasn't looking at the jam on your mouth...I was
looking at the peanut butter on your forehead."

Warphead · 04-09-2001, 05:57 PM

A sailor is ashore on his first leave and wants to get laid. He don't have much $$, when he goes to the whorehouse the madam tells him she can't help him, but if he goes to the end of the alley, there's a shed with a woman that'll give him whatever he wants for 10 bucks.

He does as she says and a nasty, dirty old woman answers the door. He's disgusted, but horny, so he gives her the ten.

They strip and get into bed with all the lights off, he tries to stick it in but she's so dry he can get in. She says "Just a minute" and messes around a second and says "now try."

It goes in smooth and gets it done. Later he says "Hey, what did you do to get it so wet, that was the best lube I've ever seen?"

"I just picked off the scabs and let it run."

PimPaDelic · 04-09-2001, 11:11 PM

They Are Some Fucking Funny But Nasty Jokes! Good Job Peoples, I Liked Them.

RedShoe · 04-09-2001, 11:40 PM

Not a sick joke but still funny.

Funny because it's true...

THE CREATION OF A PUSSY

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.

First was a butcher, with smart wit,
using a knife, he gave it a slit,

Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole,

Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
by using red velvet, he lined it within,

Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without,

Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,

Sixth was a preacher, whose name was McGee,
touched it and blessed it, and said it could pee,

Last was a sailor, dirty little runt,
he sucked it and fucked it, and called it a cunt.

------------------
[email protected]
LeeannOnline.com

ldinternet · 04-10-2001, 05:47 AM

Heh heh...

A gorilla escapes from a zoo and is reported to be up a tree in a park by a concerned passer-by. The zookeeper and his co-worker turn up in a van armed with a shotgun, and haul a huge alsation out of the back.
The keeper turns to his co-worker and says, "You hold the gun while I climb the tree and shake the gorilla down. When he falls to the ground, the dog will bite him by his bollocks and drag him into the van, just like his was trained to do."
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the co-worker.
"If I fall first," replied the zookeeper, "shoot the fucking dog."

Lord Assmore · 04-10-2001, 06:55 AM

There were three generations of prostitutes; a grandmother, a mother, and a
daughter. The daughter walked into the house, slamming the door behind her,
and said in a pissed off tone, "I can't believe this, I just got ten bucks
for a blow job!"* The mother piped in, "That's nothing, when I was younger
we were lucky if we got five."* The grandmother waved her hands, dismissing
the two, and said, "Heck, back in my day we were* lucky just to get
something warm in our stomachs."

04-09-2001, 03:14 PM	#1
MichealK74 Registered User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: GO FUCK YOURSELF Posts: 43	See/Post the SICKEST JOKE you've ever heard! Ahhhh Fuck it! One more thread... Lets see who can come up with the sickest, most twisted joke! After all, we are webmasters and should have the inside track on such things! I think the other pedophile joke down the line was kinda old, this one is a bit newer, and twice as sick! A man and a little kid were walking into the deep, dark woods, and the child was clutching the mans hand. The man stopped and said " Listen. you think YOUR scared? I'm Walking out of here alone!" Lol! Ok, that was bad, but geez, I see fisting and puking and scat stuff all day long, so it don't bother me to much, and I would like to hear corpsies favorite joke as well, bet thats some sick shit!! Well, whatcha got!??!

04-09-2001, 04:15 PM	#2
Kat - Fast Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: The bushes behind your house Posts: 2,303	Little Pete was sitting ih the house bored, so he went up to his Mum, "Mummy, can you play with me?" "No son, Mummy is busy right now, go and see your Daddy." So Pete runs into the garage, "Daddy! I'm bored! Come and play with me?" "Sorry son, I'm really busy at the moment, why not go and ask Grandpa, he's in the garden." So Pete runs down to the garden and sees Grandpa, "Grandpa! Grandpa! Come and play with me!" Grandpa looks hard at Pete, "Come into the shed and I'll show you a magic trick..." "Right then, close your eyes..." "OK Grandpa" "Can you feel my hands on your shoulders?" "Yes Grandpa" "Can you feel me taking off your pants?" "Yes Grandpa" "Can you feel my thumb in your bum?" "Owww, yes Grandpa" "Now open your eyes, can you see both my hands in front of your face?" "Ouch, yes Grandpa!" "Haha, 'magic'!" I laughed my ass off - but chickened out of letting my surfers see it!

04-09-2001, 05:28 PM	#3
Lord Assmore Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The Periphery Posts: 588	A guy says to his wife, "I'm in the mood for some 69." She says, "It's that time of the month, but if you don't care, I don't care." They go into the bedroom, and are 69'ing like mad dogs when the doorbell rings. She says, "Answer the door." He says, "But my face is a mess." She says, "It's just the postman. Answer the door, and if he says anything, just tell him you were eating a jam sandwich." He opens the door and says, "I'm sorry about my mouth, I was eating a jam sandwich." The mailman says, "I wasn't looking at the jam on your mouth...I was looking at the peanut butter on your forehead."

04-09-2001, 05:57 PM	#4
Warphead Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Kiss my yankee dick. Posts: 994	A sailor is ashore on his first leave and wants to get laid. He don't have much $$, when he goes to the whorehouse the madam tells him she can't help him, but if he goes to the end of the alley, there's a shed with a woman that'll give him whatever he wants for 10 bucks. He does as she says and a nasty, dirty old woman answers the door. He's disgusted, but horny, so he gives her the ten. They strip and get into bed with all the lights off, he tries to stick it in but she's so dry he can get in. She says "Just a minute" and messes around a second and says "now try." It goes in smooth and gets it done. Later he says "Hey, what did you do to get it so wet, that was the best lube I've ever seen?" "I just picked off the scabs and let it run."

04-09-2001, 11:11 PM	#5
PimPaDelic Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2001 Posts: 123	They Are Some Fucking Funny But Nasty Jokes! Good Job Peoples, I Liked Them.

04-09-2001, 11:40 PM	#6
RedShoe 赤い靴 call me 202-456-1111 Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: The Valley Posts: 14,831	Not a sick joke but still funny. Funny because it's true... THE CREATION OF A PUSSY Seven wise men with knowledge so fine, created a pussy to their design. First was a butcher, with smart wit, using a knife, he gave it a slit, Second was a carpenter, strong and bold, with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole, Third was a tailor, tall and thin, by using red velvet, he lined it within, Fourth was a hunter, short and stout, with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without, Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell, threw in a fish and gave it a smell, Sixth was a preacher, whose name was McGee, touched it and blessed it, and said it could pee, Last was a sailor, dirty little runt, he sucked it and fucked it, and called it a cunt. ------------------ [email protected] LeeannOnline.com

04-10-2001, 05:47 AM	#7
ldinternet Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 8,245	Heh heh... A gorilla escapes from a zoo and is reported to be up a tree in a park by a concerned passer-by. The zookeeper and his co-worker turn up in a van armed with a shotgun, and haul a huge alsation out of the back. The keeper turns to his co-worker and says, "You hold the gun while I climb the tree and shake the gorilla down. When he falls to the ground, the dog will bite him by his bollocks and drag him into the van, just like his was trained to do." "What's the shotgun for?" asks the co-worker. "If I fall first," replied the zookeeper, "shoot the fucking dog."

04-10-2001, 06:55 AM	#8
Lord Assmore Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The Periphery Posts: 588	There were three generations of prostitutes; a grandmother, a mother, and a daughter. The daughter walked into the house, slamming the door behind her, and said in a pissed off tone, "I can't believe this, I just got ten bucks for a blow job!"* The mother piped in, "That's nothing, when I was younger we were lucky if we got five."* The grandmother waved her hands, dismissing the two, and said, "Heck, back in my day we were* lucky just to get something warm in our stomachs."