post your jokes.... - GoFuckYourself.com

stembolt · 06-30-2004, 09:26 AM

a lorry(truck) driver is driving along. a sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead". before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him, and he gets stuck under it.
cars are backed up for miles. finally, a police car turns up, the copper gets out of his car an walks over to the lorry driver, put is hands on his hips and says,
"got stuck?"
the lorry driver sez,
"no mate, i was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol,"

u lot got any more?

MinX · 06-30-2004, 09:38 AM

NO...cos u keep nicking em!!! lol

iwantchixx · 06-30-2004, 09:42 AM

what's the difference between an elephants ear and a hammorhfor

Za Ha · 06-30-2004, 09:43 AM

Knock Knock

Ash@phpFX · 06-30-2004, 09:51 AM

silent moan · 06-30-2004, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Za Ha
Knock Knock

who's there?

MinX · 06-30-2004, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Za Ha
Knock Knock

Who's there??

CDSmith · 06-30-2004, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Za Ha
Knock Knock

WHO THE FUCK IS THERE???

K, I'm sure this joke has been posted before, but it's just so damned ignorant I had to post it again.....

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a 2-litre of 2% milk, a
carton of eggs, a carton of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 400 gram can of coffee,
and a 1kg package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check
out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single.
"The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was equally intrigued by the
derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and
saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off her drunken
observer to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her,she said, "Well, you know
what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're fucking ugly."

kimzar · 06-30-2004, 04:57 PM

Tala · 06-30-2004, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CDSmith
WHO THE FUCK IS THERE???

K, I'm sure this joke has been posted before, but it's just so damned ignorant I had to post it again.....

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a 2-litre of 2% milk, a
carton of eggs, a carton of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 400 gram can of coffee,
and a 1kg package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check
out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single.
"The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was equally intrigued by the
derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and
saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off her drunken
observer to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her,she said, "Well, you know
what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're fucking ugly."

Scott McD · 06-30-2004, 05:00 PM

How many gfy'ers does it take to change a lightbulb ??

Tala · 06-30-2004, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Scott McD
How many gfy'ers does it take to change a lightbulb ??

GFY has lightbulbs?

sillysillyme · 06-30-2004, 05:03 PM

A newly wed couple is sitting in a marriage therapist office 2 weeks after their wedding. When called back they both sit quietly infront of the therapist. After about 5 minutes the therapist says " Well for starters tell me what you two have in common." The room is silent for a minute when the new groom says " Well neither of us suck dick!"

Khun · 06-30-2004, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CDSmith
WHO THE FUCK IS THERE???

K, I'm sure this joke has been posted before, but it's just so damned ignorant I had to post it again.....

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a 2-litre of 2% milk, a
carton of eggs, a carton of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 400 gram can of coffee,
and a 1kg package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check
out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single.
"The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was equally intrigued by the
derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and
saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off her drunken
observer to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her,she said, "Well, you know
what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're fucking ugly."

Good one!!!

CDSmith · 06-30-2004, 05:19 PM

She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children.

Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked The Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're finally together."

One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?"

The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."

CDSmith · 06-30-2004, 05:31 PM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is the vacuum on or off?"

06-30-2004, 09:26 AM	#1
stembolt Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: deck 6 section 16 uss enterprise ncc1701e Posts: 463	post your jokes.... a lorry(truck) driver is driving along. a sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead". before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him, and he gets stuck under it. cars are backed up for miles. finally, a police car turns up, the copper gets out of his car an walks over to the lorry driver, put is hands on his hips and says, "got stuck?" the lorry driver sez, "no mate, i was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol," u lot got any more? __________________ hahahahahahahahaha once upon a time i had something to put here!!!!

06-30-2004, 09:38 AM	#2
MinX Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: UK Posts: 417	NO...cos u keep nicking em!!! lol __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

06-30-2004, 05:00 PM	#11
Scott McD Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Glasgow, Scotland Posts: 67,795	How many gfy'ers does it take to change a lightbulb ?? __________________ I Buy My High Quality Traffic Here, You Should Too!

06-30-2004, 05:19 PM	#15
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked The Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're finally together." One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The friend replied, "I think he means her legs." __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

06-30-2004, 05:31 PM	#16
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is the vacuum on or off?" __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

06-30-2004, 09:42 AM	#3
iwantchixx Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Boonies Posts: 12,860	what's the difference between an elephants ear and a hammorhfor

06-30-2004, 09:43 AM	#4
Za Ha Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Still lost Posts: 5,112	Knock Knock

06-30-2004, 09:51 AM	#5
Ash@phpFX Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 4,292

06-30-2004, 04:57 PM	#9
kimzar Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Your Mother's Snatch! Posts: 1,874

06-30-2004, 05:03 PM	#13
sillysillyme Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: La La Land Posts: 156	A newly wed couple is sitting in a marriage therapist office 2 weeks after their wedding. When called back they both sit quietly infront of the therapist. After about 5 minutes the therapist says " Well for starters tell me what you two have in common." The room is silent for a minute when the new groom says " Well neither of us suck dick!"