Have a friend thats in a psycho controlling relationship... ;(( - GoFuckYourself.com

jaYMan · 06-18-2004, 02:37 PM

Sad stuff... its more along the lines of the guy playing God in her world:

CONTROLLING BY DEFINING HER REALITY: This form of control is very oppressive. When he tells his partner what reality is, he is playing God, he is discounting the partner's experience by defining "THE TRUTH"-which in fact is a LIE. Some examples: That's not what you said or That's not what I said or That's not what you did or That's not what I did or That's not what happened. That's not what you saw. That's not what you felt. That's not why you did it. I know you better than you know yourself!

I've never been in a relationship like this, so I have no idea what kinda advice to give. ALmost wish I wasn't asked!

How do you ditch a control freak?

jmk · 06-18-2004, 02:45 PM

Say: "That's not what I want"
Bye Bye

Scootermuze · 06-18-2004, 03:35 PM

If you were asked for advice.. The advice is simple to give, but too many choose to accept the situation and hope it will get better... but never does..

Just tell whomever, "You have to teach people how to treat you" .. If they choose to treat you in a manner that you don't agree with, let them know that it's not acceptable and if changes aren't made, then ... "See ya!"

Of course your friend needs to stick to the statement and do it.. That in itself can send a powerful message that they mean what they say, and the control freak might settle down a bit..

If not, then your friend doesn't need to be anywhere around the controlling person.. Leave and don't look back...

If they can't do that, then they deserve to be controlled..

punker barbie · 06-18-2004, 04:06 PM

id bite his pecker off LOL

just kidding
but on a serious note, if she feels a need to stay regardless what the situation is i doubt there is much u can do. Except be 100% supportive, till she finds the strength to leave

Syl · 06-18-2004, 04:12 PM

[QUOTE]Originally posted by punker barbie
[B]id bite his pecker off LOL

hehehe..yum

AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE · 06-18-2004, 04:51 PM

You can control a control freak to...

But one must be ready for the roll of commanding rather than obeying.

One must tell the other to shut up and listen, and fight it to the bone on any dispute, any contradiction...

Trust me on this. I study PSYOPS to this day and went to school for it a long time ago.

Taking the lead as an authority must be done gradually starting with little things and controlling a situation with only your thoughts are of importants only, regardless of your victims thoughts on the matter or any matter.

Taking the command roll must reward small gratuity and always demand thankfulness for any action or accuse the subject of not appreciating anything.

AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE · 06-18-2004, 04:53 PM

To add once the playing feild emotionally is on the level is when the once dominate figure will want to escape and it will be the day the former one in sub will choose whether or not former DOM may go.

Its spookie shit but it happens, its human nature..

NakedBo · 06-18-2004, 05:06 PM

If she doesn't want to go, she won't. The best thing you can do then is give her support and hope it doesn't go too far. She needs to realise that this person is not doing it because he loves her, but because he likes the power of controling someone.

If she wants to leave, she just has to leave. Not let him spreak, just grab her bags and go!!

The turning around thing will only work if she really wants to stay and put efford in this guy.

I have been in a relationship like this, I hope that things will work out for her. It is very though to break out of a relationship like this.

AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE · 06-18-2004, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NakedBo
If she doesn't want to go, she won't. The best thing you can do then is give her support and hope it doesn't go too far. She needs to realise that this person is not doing it because he loves her, but because he likes the power of controling someone.

If she wants to leave, she just has to leave. Not let him spreak, just grab her bags and go!!

The turning around thing will only work if she really wants to stay and put efford in this guy.

I have been in a relationship like this, I hope that things will work out for her. It is very though to break out of a relationship like this.

The problem is she does not have the strength to break away, so jaYMan, you have to tell her to learn to think for herself and begin telling em to do things and go from there. In the conflict that will come is when she will have to make a fight about every aspect of his dispute. The aim is to frustrate em and begin to fear her.

NakedBo · 06-18-2004, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AlienQ
The problem is she does not have the strength to break away, so jaYMan, you have to tell her to learn to think for herself and begin telling em to do things and go from there. In the conflict that will come is when she will have to make a fight about every aspect of his dispute. The aim is to frustrate em and begin to fear her.

I'm sorry but I don't agree on that. It sound very sane, but there is now way that she will be able to do that if she is already under his controle for too long. I hope that will help her, but I speak from personal experiance that that will only make him agressive. I guess it depends per person, and on how long she has been with him.

edit: you are right about the breaking away part, but there are more ways to do that then the way you sugested.

OY · 06-18-2004, 11:14 PM

done

06-18-2004, 02:37 PM	#1
jaYMan peace&profit, Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 4,885	Have a friend thats in a psycho controlling relationship... ;(( Sad stuff... its more along the lines of the guy playing God in her world: CONTROLLING BY DEFINING HER REALITY: This form of control is very oppressive. When he tells his partner what reality is, he is playing God, he is discounting the partner's experience by defining "THE TRUTH"-which in fact is a LIE. Some examples: That's not what you said or That's not what I said or That's not what you did or That's not what I did or That's not what happened. That's not what you saw. That's not what you felt. That's not why you did it. I know you better than you know yourself! I've never been in a relationship like this, so I have no idea what kinda advice to give. ALmost wish I wasn't asked! How do you ditch a control freak? __________________ peace&profit, jaYMan

06-18-2004, 04:06 PM	#4
punker barbie Meow Meow!!! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: San Diego, California Posts: 10,228	id bite his pecker off LOL just kidding but on a serious note, if she feels a need to stay regardless what the situation is i doubt there is much u can do. Except be 100% supportive, till she finds the strength to leave __________________ Chaturbate Affiliate Support: [email protected]

06-18-2004, 04:12 PM	#5
Syl Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: AZ Posts: 1,953	[QUOTE]Originally posted by punker barbie [B]id bite his pecker off LOL hehehe..yum __________________ Syl ICQ 304 908 973 [email protected]

06-18-2004, 04:51 PM	#6
AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE best designer on GFY Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: IALIEN.COM - High Definition Video and Photographic Productions -ICQ 78943384 Posts: 30,307	You can control a control freak to... But one must be ready for the roll of commanding rather than obeying. One must tell the other to shut up and listen, and fight it to the bone on any dispute, any contradiction... Trust me on this. I study PSYOPS to this day and went to school for it a long time ago. Taking the lead as an authority must be done gradually starting with little things and controlling a situation with only your thoughts are of importants only, regardless of your victims thoughts on the matter or any matter. Taking the command roll must reward small gratuity and always demand thankfulness for any action or accuse the subject of not appreciating anything. __________________ NAKED HOSTING FTW!11 I'm On The INSANE PLAN $9.95/mo! \| The Alien Blog Adult News Worth Reading Updated Daily \| Content For Sale! 641 PICS 216 MINUTES OF VIDEO $350.00 \|ICQ: 78943384 \|

06-18-2004, 04:53 PM	#7
AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE best designer on GFY Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: IALIEN.COM - High Definition Video and Photographic Productions -ICQ 78943384 Posts: 30,307	To add once the playing feild emotionally is on the level is when the once dominate figure will want to escape and it will be the day the former one in sub will choose whether or not former DOM may go. Its spookie shit but it happens, its human nature.. __________________ NAKED HOSTING FTW!11 I'm On The INSANE PLAN $9.95/mo! \| The Alien Blog Adult News Worth Reading Updated Daily \| Content For Sale! 641 PICS 216 MINUTES OF VIDEO $350.00 \|ICQ: 78943384 \|

06-18-2004, 02:45 PM	#2
jmk Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 5,391	Say: "That's not what I want" Bye Bye

06-18-2004, 03:35 PM	#3
Scootermuze Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 4,513	If you were asked for advice.. The advice is simple to give, but too many choose to accept the situation and hope it will get better... but never does.. Just tell whomever, "You have to teach people how to treat you" .. If they choose to treat you in a manner that you don't agree with, let them know that it's not acceptable and if changes aren't made, then ... "See ya!" Of course your friend needs to stick to the statement and do it.. That in itself can send a powerful message that they mean what they say, and the control freak might settle down a bit.. If not, then your friend doesn't need to be anywhere around the controlling person.. Leave and don't look back... If they can't do that, then they deserve to be controlled..

06-18-2004, 05:06 PM	#8
NakedBo Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Amsterdam 139-752-770 Posts: 1,614	If she doesn't want to go, she won't. The best thing you can do then is give her support and hope it doesn't go too far. She needs to realise that this person is not doing it because he loves her, but because he likes the power of controling someone. If she wants to leave, she just has to leave. Not let him spreak, just grab her bags and go!! The turning around thing will only work if she really wants to stay and put efford in this guy. I have been in a relationship like this, I hope that things will work out for her. It is very though to break out of a relationship like this.

06-18-2004, 11:14 PM	#11
OY Industry Pioneer Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: USA/EU/ASIA Posts: 5,401	done __________________ Around since 1997, and the company that introduced "Cascading Billing" in MPA3® Affiliate Management and Tracking Software Outsourcing With A Norwegian Twist - NordBits - Inquire within!