The hitman joke - GoFuckYourself.com

Paraskass · 05-07-2004, 10:37 PM

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." "Sure," they said, "You're welcome."

So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.

Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?" "I'm a hit man," was the reply. "You're joking!" was the response. "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Heckler & Koch sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools." "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.

"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the hahahahahaha." "Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her.......He's naked, too!!! The *****!" He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?" "I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, and just a kid, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson." The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently. "Just be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here....."

bllott · 05-07-2004, 10:40 PM

torrey · 05-07-2004, 10:42 PM

lol, funny.

pure energy · 05-07-2004, 10:44 PM

Great one!

insanesurfer · 05-07-2004, 10:46 PM

lol how true is that

serious · 05-07-2004, 10:47 PM

SpaceAce · 05-07-2004, 11:12 PM

Good one. It's about time someone posted a joke I haven't heard a million times before.

SpaceAce

Illicit · 05-07-2004, 11:15 PM

Great Joke

EviLGuY · 05-07-2004, 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Paraskass
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." "Sure," they said, "You're welcome."

So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.

Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?" "I'm a hit man," was the reply. "You're joking!" was the response. "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Heckler & Koch sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools." "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.

"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the hahahahahaha." "Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her.......He's naked, too!!! The *****!" He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?" "I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, and just a kid, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson." The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently. "Just be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here....."

haha.. thats funny as shit.

reynold · 05-07-2004, 11:37 PM

Nice!

wdsguy · 05-08-2004, 12:00 AM

Steve · 05-08-2004, 12:02 AM

good one

Axeman · 05-08-2004, 12:04 AM

LMAO :-) Good one

ModelPerfect · 05-08-2004, 12:16 AM

B40 · 05-08-2004, 12:26 AM

haha

Dynamix · 05-08-2004, 12:33 AM

one of the few jokes that's still funny each time I hear it.

newsdude · 05-08-2004, 12:36 AM

Funny!

Paraskass · 05-08-2004, 10:44 AM

thanks...

bignasty · 05-08-2004, 10:46 AM

nice to hear a fresh joke

TheFrog · 05-08-2004, 10:47 AM

michel · 05-08-2004, 10:47 AM

Wonder where you got that one

dunefield · 05-08-2004, 10:48 AM

Goose · 05-08-2004, 10:52 AM

hehe, made me laugh out loudly

bufferover · 05-08-2004, 10:53 AM

Haha that's funny

sltr · 05-08-2004, 10:53 AM

05-07-2004, 10:37 PM	#1
Paraskass Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: QC Posts: 5,829	The hitman joke Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." "Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?" "I'm a hit man," was the reply. "You're joking!" was the response. "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Heckler & Koch sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools." "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the hahahahahaha." "Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her.......He's naked, too!!! The *****!" He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?" "I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger." "Can you do two for me now?" "Sure, what do you want?" "First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, and just a kid, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson." The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes. "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently. "Just be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here....." __________________

05-07-2004, 10:42 PM	#3
torrey Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Pornslinga USA Posts: 1,656	lol, funny. __________________

05-07-2004, 10:44 PM	#4
pure energy Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 4,274	Great one! __________________ Click Here to get $42 a sale AND Get FREE MGP Coaching from WebmasterLabor.Com Sign up above then EMAIL info (( at )) webmasterlabor DOT com for your free 1 to 1 MGP coaching

05-07-2004, 10:46 PM	#5
insanesurfer Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 790	lol how true is that __________________ Tired of Paypal? Then give Moneybookers a chance.

05-07-2004, 10:47 PM	#6
serious Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 2,594	lol __________________ new search

05-07-2004, 10:40 PM	#2
bllott Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Everywhere Posts: 2,368

05-07-2004, 11:12 PM	#7
SpaceAce Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Magrathea Posts: 6,493	Good one. It's about time someone posted a joke I haven't heard a million times before. SpaceAce

05-07-2004, 11:15 PM	#8
Illicit wtf ? Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: GFY Posts: 11,895	Great Joke __________________ Insert Sig Here

05-07-2004, 11:37 PM	#10
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	Nice!

05-08-2004, 12:00 AM	#11
wdsguy Ryde or Die Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: California-Shanghai Posts: 19,568

05-08-2004, 12:02 AM	#12
Steve Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: USA Posts: 6,894	good one

05-08-2004, 12:04 AM	#13
Axeman Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Swamp Posts: 5,201	LMAO :-) Good one __________________ XXXRewards - Karups - Boyfun - Jawked. Paying on time since 1997. Contact me at brent [at] xxxrewards.com

05-08-2004, 12:16 AM	#14
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05-08-2004, 12:26 AM	#15
B40 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 7,020	haha __________________

05-08-2004, 12:33 AM	#16
Dynamix G F Y not Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: MN Posts: 2,910	one of the few jokes that's still funny each time I hear it. __________________ TGPFactory Full TGP Design & Installation Services ICQ 250 142 484 · AIM TGPDynamix · Email: patrick (at) tgpfactory (dot) com See who I am at AdultWhosWho.com!

05-08-2004, 12:36 AM	#17
newsdude Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 1,969	Funny! __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

05-08-2004, 10:44 AM	#18
Paraskass Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: QC Posts: 5,829	thanks... __________________

05-08-2004, 10:46 AM	#19
bignasty Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: sc Posts: 1,421	nice to hear a fresh joke __________________ '

05-08-2004, 10:47 AM	#20
TheFrog Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 4,095

05-08-2004, 10:47 AM	#21
michel TheHun's Yellow Pages! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 3,420	Wonder where you got that one

05-08-2004, 10:48 AM	#22
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05-08-2004, 10:52 AM	#23
Goose Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: --------Europe------- Posts: 5,725	hehe, made me laugh out loudly __________________ ICQ: 52410619

05-08-2004, 10:53 AM	#24
bufferover Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 25,203	Haha that's funny

05-08-2004, 10:53 AM	#25
sltr Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 3,191