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Paraskass 05-07-2004 10:37 PM

The hitman joke
 
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." "Sure," they said, "You're welcome."

So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.

Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?" "I'm a hit man," was the reply. "You're joking!" was the response. "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Heckler & Koch sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools." "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.

"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the hahahahahaha." "Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her.......He's naked, too!!! The *****!" He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?" "I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, and just a kid, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson." The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently. "Just be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here....."

bllott 05-07-2004 10:40 PM

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

torrey 05-07-2004 10:42 PM

lol, funny. :)

pure energy 05-07-2004 10:44 PM

Great one! :1orglaugh

insanesurfer 05-07-2004 10:46 PM

lol how true is that:1orglaugh

serious 05-07-2004 10:47 PM

lol

SpaceAce 05-07-2004 11:12 PM

Good one. It's about time someone posted a joke I haven't heard a million times before.

SpaceAce

Illicit 05-07-2004 11:15 PM

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh


Great Joke :thumbsup

EviLGuY 05-07-2004 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Paraskass
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." "Sure," they said, "You're welcome."

So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.

Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?" "I'm a hit man," was the reply. "You're joking!" was the response. "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Heckler & Koch sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools." "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.

"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the hahahahahaha." "Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her.......He's naked, too!!! The *****!" He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?" "I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, and just a kid, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson." The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently. "Just be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here....."

haha.. thats funny as shit.

reynold 05-07-2004 11:37 PM

Nice! :1orglaugh

wdsguy 05-08-2004 12:00 AM

:1orglaugh

Steve 05-08-2004 12:02 AM

good one

Axeman 05-08-2004 12:04 AM

LMAO :-) Good one

ModelPerfect 05-08-2004 12:16 AM

:1orglaugh

B40 05-08-2004 12:26 AM

haha :1orglaugh

Dynamix 05-08-2004 12:33 AM

one of the few jokes that's still funny each time I hear it. :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

newsdude 05-08-2004 12:36 AM

Funny! :1orglaugh

Paraskass 05-08-2004 10:44 AM

thanks... :Graucho

bignasty 05-08-2004 10:46 AM

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh nice to hear a fresh joke

TheFrog 05-08-2004 10:47 AM

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

michel 05-08-2004 10:47 AM

Wonder where you got that one :winkwink:

dunefield 05-08-2004 10:48 AM

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Goose 05-08-2004 10:52 AM

hehe, made me laugh out loudly

bufferover 05-08-2004 10:53 AM

Haha that's funny:1orglaugh

sltr 05-08-2004 10:53 AM

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh


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