The Secret Google Algorithm: Explained - GoFuckYourself.com

xxxjay · 04-07-2004, 01:09 PM

What many of you may not know is the most important seminars at conventions are held behind closed door. This years Phoenix Forums were no exception. On Saturday around five in the morning the secret, the Google algorithm was explained to a select small group of webmasters. The notes have been uncovered and are posted here on GFY.

FIGURE A: Represents the highly guarded Google search technology in action.

FIGURE B: Represents my nuts doing the windmill. The workings of FIGURE A are determined by which way my nuts are doing the windmill at the time. Many in the SEO community believe that when my nuts are windmilling to the right; highly optimized search pages tend to get better ranking.

FIGURE C: Represents the SERPs (Search Engine Result Pages) ? you will notice in FIGURE B that my nuts are actually windmilling to the right and highly sought after search terms have been pushed to the top.

FIGURE D: Represents Wired Guy, Kush, and the rest of the SEO community speculating on the direction of my nuts doing the windmill and optimizing their pages accordingly.

There you have it ? the secret Google algo explained. Who says you can never find the good shit on the boards?

doober · 04-07-2004, 01:11 PM

sounds about right, wait till orcle ask you about the priority id tho...

Trax · 04-07-2004, 01:13 PM

zagi · 04-07-2004, 01:13 PM

Once again I am surpised by how much information industry insiders reveal on this forum!

TheSwed · 04-07-2004, 01:14 PM

Phoenix · 04-07-2004, 01:15 PM

haha...yeah that can't be it..where's page two?

Jdoughs · 04-07-2004, 01:15 PM

Damn man you promised not to make that public knowledge!!!

now we're fucked!

MPBWhitney · 04-07-2004, 01:15 PM

LOL

U need to keep that book and start a collection.. one for every show! They will contain all the secret magical stuff that is discussed at wee hours in the morning.

Whitney

Tera · 04-07-2004, 01:16 PM

That lesson was highly anticipated by many and definilty worth our time! LOL

LOVE IT

sherie · 04-07-2004, 01:16 PM

The Secret Society of the Algorithim!

jerseygirls · 04-07-2004, 01:16 PM

Jay,

U should put up a paypal link. Anyone who reads this thread should feel guilty for not paying for such amazing info.

Thanks,

WiredGuy · 04-07-2004, 01:16 PM

Hahahahahaha, this is funny on so many levels. The relevations that came to us that night was hilarious

WG

HollywoodChris · 04-07-2004, 01:17 PM

hahaha!!

I bet the story of how this came about would be a great addition
to Volume# 3 "Jay's True Hollywood Stories"

beergood · 04-07-2004, 01:17 PM

thats pretty fucking funny

Platinum Adam · 04-07-2004, 01:17 PM

LOL, Jay that is good stuff bro!

Heywood Jablome · 04-07-2004, 01:18 PM

Damn! This is going to win the Adult Beat Thread of the Day for sure!

doornx · 04-07-2004, 01:18 PM

i knew it...i knew it all along

Ludedude · 04-07-2004, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Phoenix
haha...yeah that can't be it..where's page two?

That's reserved for the 1337 yo!

-=HOAX=- · 04-07-2004, 01:20 PM

Jay, I'd like to chat with you a bit with you if you have some time...I think it'd be worth your while.

edit:ICQ#103-771

cherrylula · 04-07-2004, 01:23 PM

let us know when you figure out yahoo

Peaches · 04-07-2004, 01:26 PM

LOL! Since I'm local in GA, does that mean your nuts doing the windmill will have more of the "butterfly effect" regarding my rankings?

Officer · 04-07-2004, 01:32 PM

gornyhuy · 04-07-2004, 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Peaches
LOL! Since I'm local in GA, does that mean your nuts doing the windmill will have more of the "butterfly effect" regarding my rankings?

His nuts are going back in time to prevent you from dying?

newbreed · 04-07-2004, 01:35 PM

It's all so clear to me now!

xxxjay · 04-07-2004, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by WiredGuy
Hahahahahaha, this is funny on so many levels. The relevations that came to us that night was hilarious

WG

You know if wired guy is learning from this - it is some serious info.

AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE · 04-07-2004, 01:38 PM

Retards are amazing.

ATL_Ryan · 04-07-2004, 01:42 PM

Jay has mad skills. His nuts may just be the center of the Universe. NMD Nuts of mass destruction.

angelsofporn · 04-07-2004, 01:44 PM

it all makes sense now

Axeman · 04-07-2004, 01:47 PM

lol, and all this time i was searching for a deeper answer. I am impressed

beergood · 04-07-2004, 01:47 PM

Someone else came up with this due to AdSense recent changes. Its a translation of the form letter Google is sending people who complain about their shit:

Quote:

GOOGLESPEAK: Thank you for providing us with this feedback.
ENGLISH TRANSLATION: Dear Chump:
GOOGLESPEAK: We appreciate your concern about decreased revenue.
ENGLISH TRANSLATION: We appreciate the revenue we've taken from the traffic your websites produce.

GOOGLESPEAK: Our recent enhancements to advertiser pricing and to our targeting will affect publishers in different ways and at different times.
ENGLISH TRANSLATION: We haven't figured out how to take every last dime from everyone yet but our crack team of programmers is working 24/7 on it.

GOOGLESPEAK: While your earnings per click may decrease, your clickthrough rate may also increase due to the increased relevancy of the ads on your pages.
ENGLISH TRANSLATION: We're going to count all the clicks but under report your traffic. This will make it look like you're getting a higher clickthrough rate.

GOOGLESPEAK: In addition, although you are currently seeing reduced revenue, these changes are intended to increase the long-term revenue potential of the
AdSense program by driving increased advertiser participation in the Google content network.
ENGLISH TRANSLATION: We think advertisers will watch us put the screws to publishers and see it as a business opportunity. We figure most of them won't notice they're not paying any less while we pocket the difference.

GOOGLESPEAK: Your AdSense reports will give you a good idea of the effect of these changes over time.
ENGLISH TRANSLATION: Read 'em and weep, baby.

WiredGuy · 04-07-2004, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by xxxjay
You know if wired guy is learning from this - it is some serious info.

Wait until you put a PriorityGoogleID tag up against your nuts when doing the windmill!

WG

ATL_Ryan · 04-07-2004, 01:53 PM

If that makes sense then maybe this will too. I think Juicy belongs in this picture.

Linkster · 04-07-2004, 02:44 PM

Damn Jay - I thought we had this locked up

Just don't let out the Yahoo one - Google's a has-been anyway

VeriSexy · 04-07-2004, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by xxxjay

What many of you may not know is the most important seminars at conventions are held behind closed door. This years Phoenix Forums were no exception. On Saturday around five in the morning the secret, the Google algorithm was explained to a select small group of webmasters. The notes have been uncovered and are posted here on GFY.

FIGURE A: Represents the highly guarded Google search technology in action.

FIGURE B: Represents my nuts doing the windmill. The workings of FIGURE A are determined by which way my nuts are doing the windmill at the time. Many in the SEO community believe that when my nuts are windmilling to the right; highly optimized search pages tend to get better ranking.

FIGURE C: Represents the SERPs (Search Engine Result Pages) ? you will notice in FIGURE B that my nuts are actually windmilling to the right and highly sought after search terms have been pushed to the top.

FIGURE D: Represents Wired Guy, Kush, and the rest of the SEO community speculating on the direction of my nuts doing the windmill and optimizing their pages accordingly.

There you have it ? the secret Google algo explained. Who says you can never find the good shit on the boards?

Proof that it works great http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&i...=Google+Search

Fabien · 04-07-2004, 02:57 PM

SHIT
i missed this one

kush · 04-07-2004, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by xxxjay

FIGURE D: Represents Wired Guy, Kush, and the rest of the SEO community speculating on the direction of my nuts doing the windmill and optimizing their pages accordingly.

damn now everyhahahaha knows how I get my listings - - I'M FUCKED!

Weppel · 04-07-2004, 05:14 PM

Seriously?

04-07-2004, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Weppel
Seriously?

the internet is a bizzare world my friend

Yahook · 04-08-2004, 12:30 PM

Nice topic Jay;-)

WiredGuy · 04-08-2004, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Yahook
Nice topic Jay;-)

Nice alias

Tuna · 04-08-2004, 01:17 PM

i knew i was doing something wrong. Thanks for sharing Jay

tranza · 04-08-2004, 01:21 PM

Lol... You have lot's of free time in your hands, don't you?

xxxjay · 04-08-2004, 01:31 PM

Fresh new notes have been uncovered from Jay?s secret notebook revealing the complex inner workings of Google. Here, we have illustrated what a well rounded search engine strategy can do for today?s progressive webmaster.

FIGURE A: Represents my nuts.

FIGURE B: Represents Britney Spears.

FIGURE C: Represents me ergonomically placing my balls on Britney?s forehead.

Yes, here you can see the proof of huge payoff from a well rounded SE strategy.

sherie · 04-08-2004, 01:34 PM

You are a brilliant brilliant man!

Tera · 04-08-2004, 01:34 PM

HOLY FUCK your uncovering a lot of information here, don't uncover too much or it might get kind of embarassing LOL

angelsofporn · 04-08-2004, 01:35 PM

balls

ATL_Ryan · 04-08-2004, 01:41 PM

WiredGuy · 04-08-2004, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by xxxjay

Fresh new notes have been uncovered from Jay?s secret notebook revealing the complex inner workings of Google. Here, we have illustrated what a well rounded search engine strategy can do for today?s progressive webmaster.

FIGURE A: Represents my nuts.

FIGURE B: Represents Britney Spears.

FIGURE C: Represents me ergonomically placing my balls on Britney?s forehead.

Yes, here you can see the proof of huge payoff from a well rounded SE strategy.

Proof that the above representation works:
http://www.jays-xxx-links.com/links/celebs.html

MPBWhitney · 04-08-2004, 02:25 PM

LOL

I love that book!

kush · 04-08-2004, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by xxxjay

Fresh new notes have been uncovered from Jay?s secret notebook revealing the complex inner workings of Google. Here, we have illustrated what a well rounded search engine strategy can do for today?s progressive webmaster.

FIGURE A: Represents my nuts.

FIGURE B: Represents Britney Spears.

FIGURE C: Represents me ergonomically placing my balls on Britney?s forehead.

Yes, here you can see the proof of huge payoff from a well rounded SE strategy.

According to your drawing, you have 2 penises. Is being 'double-dicked' the secret to high SE rankings?

04-07-2004, 01:13 PM	#4
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04-07-2004, 01:14 PM	#5
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04-07-2004, 01:15 PM	#6
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,462	haha...yeah that can't be it..where's page two? __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io

04-07-2004, 01:15 PM	#7
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04-07-2004, 01:15 PM	#8
MPBWhitney Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Vancouver, Canada Posts: 507	LOL U need to keep that book and start a collection.. one for every show! They will contain all the secret magical stuff that is discussed at wee hours in the morning. Whitney __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

04-07-2004, 01:09 PM	#1
xxxjay Tube groupie. Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: LoScandalous, CA Posts: 13,482	The Secret Google Algorithm: Explained What many of you may not know is the most important seminars at conventions are held behind closed door. This years Phoenix Forums were no exception. On Saturday around five in the morning the secret, the Google algorithm was explained to a select small group of webmasters. The notes have been uncovered and are posted here on GFY. FIGURE A: Represents the highly guarded Google search technology in action. FIGURE B: Represents my nuts doing the windmill. The workings of FIGURE A are determined by which way my nuts are doing the windmill at the time. Many in the SEO community believe that when my nuts are windmilling to the right; highly optimized search pages tend to get better ranking. FIGURE C: Represents the SERPs (Search Engine Result Pages) ? you will notice in FIGURE B that my nuts are actually windmilling to the right and highly sought after search terms have been pushed to the top. FIGURE D: Represents Wired Guy, Kush, and the rest of the SEO community speculating on the direction of my nuts doing the windmill and optimizing their pages accordingly. There you have it ? the secret Google algo explained. Who says you can never find the good shit on the boards? __________________ http://donttellmehowtoruinmylife.com/ - http://www.jmdigitalmarketing.com/my...s-and-reviews/ - http://www.wouldyouhitit.org - http://shinyobjectreviews.com/

04-07-2004, 01:11 PM	#2
doober Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: in yoOoo kitchen Posts: 6,984	sounds about right, wait till orcle ask you about the priority id tho...

04-07-2004, 01:13 PM	#3
Trax [----------------------] Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 14,486	lol

04-07-2004, 01:16 PM	#9
Tera Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 1,426	That lesson was highly anticipated by many and definilty worth our time! LOL LOVE IT __________________ [email protected] ICQ 96593794

04-07-2004, 01:16 PM	#10
sherie Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 7,020	The Secret Society of the Algorithim! __________________ AIM sherierocks ICQ 127-296-286 Skype traffichor

04-07-2004, 01:16 PM	#11
jerseygirls Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: NJ Posts: 219	Jay, U should put up a paypal link. Anyone who reads this thread should feel guilty for not paying for such amazing info. Thanks,

04-07-2004, 01:16 PM	#12
WiredGuy Pounding Googlebot Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 34,482	Hahahahahaha, this is funny on so many levels. The relevations that came to us that night was hilarious WG __________________ I play with Google.

04-07-2004, 01:17 PM	#13
HollywoodChris Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,282	hahaha!! I bet the story of how this came about would be a great addition to Volume# 3 "Jay's True Hollywood Stories"

04-07-2004, 01:17 PM	#14
beergood Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: United States Posts: 2,918	thats pretty fucking funny

04-07-2004, 01:17 PM	#15
Platinum Adam Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Toronto Posts: 644	LOL, Jay that is good stuff bro!

04-07-2004, 01:18 PM	#16
Heywood Jablome Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: In Quarantine Posts: 869	Damn! This is going to win the Adult Beat Thread of the Day for sure! __________________ email: [email protected]

04-07-2004, 01:18 PM	#17
doornx Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: ICQ : 946 3375 Posts: 2,531	i knew it...i knew it all along __________________ Send me a PM for design work

04-07-2004, 01:20 PM	#19
-=HOAX=- Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: CrackYaMental Posts: 4,365	Jay, I'd like to chat with you a bit with you if you have some time...I think it'd be worth your while. edit:ICQ#103-771 __________________ Insert Value Here.

04-07-2004, 01:23 PM	#20
cherrylula lol Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 15,969	let us know when you figure out yahoo

04-07-2004, 01:26 PM	#21
Peaches Old broad Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Away Posts: 13,933	LOL! Since I'm local in GA, does that mean your nuts doing the windmill will have more of the "butterfly effect" regarding my rankings?

04-07-2004, 01:32 PM	#22
Officer Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: Midwest Posts: 205	lol __________________ Jeff K "Officer" Icq: 491212400 OC Cash Lords of Porn Pornstar Platinum Fresh Checks

04-07-2004, 01:35 PM	#24
newbreed Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: ThatOneProgram.com Posts: 9,898	It's all so clear to me now!

04-07-2004, 01:38 PM	#26
AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE best designer on GFY Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: IALIEN.COM - High Definition Video and Photographic Productions -ICQ 78943384 Posts: 30,307	Retards are amazing. __________________ NAKED HOSTING FTW!11 I'm On The INSANE PLAN $9.95/mo! \| The Alien Blog Adult News Worth Reading Updated Daily \| Content For Sale! 641 PICS 216 MINUTES OF VIDEO $350.00 \|ICQ: 78943384 \|

04-07-2004, 01:42 PM	#27
ATL_Ryan Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 1,519	Jay has mad skills. His nuts may just be the center of the Universe. NMD Nuts of mass destruction.

04-07-2004, 01:44 PM	#28
angelsofporn Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: CA Posts: 3,218	it all makes sense now

04-07-2004, 01:47 PM	#29
Axeman Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Swamp Posts: 5,201	lol, and all this time i was searching for a deeper answer. I am impressed __________________ XXXRewards - Karups - Boyfun - Jawked. Paying on time since 1997. Contact me at brent [at] xxxrewards.com

04-07-2004, 01:53 PM	#32
ATL_Ryan Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 1,519	If that makes sense then maybe this will too. I think Juicy belongs in this picture.

04-07-2004, 02:44 PM	#33
Linkster Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: DeltaHell Posts: 3,216	Damn Jay - I thought we had this locked up Just don't let out the Yahoo one - Google's a has-been anyway __________________ Porn Links Crak for your bank account - Get Addicted FREE LIVE CAM SHOWS

04-07-2004, 02:57 PM	#35
Fabien Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 4,787	SHIT i missed this one

04-07-2004, 05:14 PM	#37
Weppel Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Netherlands Posts: 2,190	Seriously?

04-08-2004, 12:30 PM	#39
Yahook Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: Global traveler Posts: 840	Nice topic Jay;-)

04-08-2004, 01:17 PM	#41
Tuna Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Steeler Country Posts: 1,307	i knew i was doing something wrong. Thanks for sharing Jay __________________ $30 PER SIGNUP PLUS 25% RECURRING FREE HOSTED PIC AND MOVIE GALLERIES Submit Your Free Sites, Pic and Movie Galleries Here ICQ : 20034024

04-08-2004, 01:21 PM	#42
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	Lol... You have lot's of free time in your hands, don't you? __________________ I'm just a newbie.

04-08-2004, 01:31 PM	#43
xxxjay Tube groupie. Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: LoScandalous, CA Posts: 13,482	Fresh new notes have been uncovered from Jay?s secret notebook revealing the complex inner workings of Google. Here, we have illustrated what a well rounded search engine strategy can do for today?s progressive webmaster. FIGURE A: Represents my nuts. FIGURE B: Represents Britney Spears. FIGURE C: Represents me ergonomically placing my balls on Britney?s forehead. Yes, here you can see the proof of huge payoff from a well rounded SE strategy. __________________ http://donttellmehowtoruinmylife.com/ - http://www.jmdigitalmarketing.com/my...s-and-reviews/ - http://www.wouldyouhitit.org - http://shinyobjectreviews.com/

04-08-2004, 01:34 PM	#44
sherie Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 7,020	You are a brilliant brilliant man! __________________ AIM sherierocks ICQ 127-296-286 Skype traffichor