I'm a good wiper. - GoFuckYourself.com

RedShoe · 02-21-2004, 01:28 AM

Anyone that knows me personally knows I have major shit issues.. And I MEAN MAJOR!!

I never shit in public and when I'm home, I have to shit in the dark with the water running and sometimes I sit there with a towel over my head, just incase the neighbors are peeking in somehow.

ok, that being said. I consider myself an incredible wiper.

I usually pull about 3 feet of double ply paper, and I fold that once. Then I fold that again and wipe with one pass and discard. I usually safety flush at this point so I don't overflow. That's also a big fear of mine.

So I wipe several more times maybe 5 - 6 passes and flush at least at least once during that time. Then I finish with a baby wipe. The cool wetness is quite refreshing. Then I flush for the final time and scrub my hands with the hottest water I can possibly handle.

I never examine my waste.

Are you a good wiper?

CyberTraffic · 02-21-2004, 01:30 AM

Why in the fuck would you post that on a forum?

nofx · 02-21-2004, 01:30 AM

dont you hate it when your thumb slips off the toilet paper and you accidently touch your poo with your thumb. so that means you have to go wash the poo from you fingers next, too much work!

Mr Pheer · 02-21-2004, 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by CyberTraffic
Why in the fuck would you post that on a forum?

why does anybody post anything on these forums

Vox · 02-21-2004, 01:31 AM

I really didn't need to know that.

CyberTraffic · 02-21-2004, 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MrPheer

why does anybody post anything on these forums

Good point.

rounders · 02-21-2004, 01:32 AM

wiper? hah.

RedShoe · 02-21-2004, 01:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by CyberTraffic
Why in the fuck would you post that on a forum?

My therapist says it'll help me over come my shit issues if I share them with others.

I also have problems with jizz sticking to my legs when I jack off in the shower, but I found out it was because the water was too hot. And the protien in my jizz was basically cooking like the whites of an egg yolk and sticking to me.

Jellybeen · 02-21-2004, 01:36 AM

You can never truly reach expert poo wiper status until you have a baby in the house.

Tala · 02-21-2004, 01:37 AM

Jellybeen · 02-21-2004, 01:38 AM

Btw I love the pic of Boneprone and crew on their knees to pose with your footwear.
I doubt they see the irony in it, though.
You should frame it.

RedShoe · 02-21-2004, 01:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jellybeen
Btw I love the pic of Boneprone and crew on their knees to pose with your footwear.
I doubt they see the irony in it, though.
You should frame it.

Where do you think "Bow to the power" comes from?

JDog · 02-21-2004, 01:43 AM

I'm a very good wiper! I'm just as careful!

Can never be too clean!

jDoG

dropped9 · 02-21-2004, 01:44 AM

Jellybeen · 02-21-2004, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by RedShoe

Where do you think "Bow to the power" comes from?

So then it comes down to the truth of who really holds the power, and the perception of who holds the power, eh?

sexsup · 02-21-2004, 01:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by CyberTraffic
Why in the fuck would you post that on a forum?

I thought the same question

RedShoe · 02-21-2004, 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sexsup
I thought the same question

I already told you, it's part of my therapy

Voodoo · 02-21-2004, 02:17 AM

Red... Try using baby wipes. It's much nicer, and it doesn't "ball up" on ya. As well, it has a nicer scent, than regular 2ply.

Rorschach · 02-21-2004, 02:23 AM

[IMG]http://www.redcoat.net/pics/*******.jpg[/IMG]

Mr Pheer · 02-21-2004, 02:25 AM

******* to the rescue

Rorschach · 02-21-2004, 02:35 AM

My elderly neighbour apparently wipes his ass with these cloth napkin things, then saves them and does a poor job of scrubbing them by hand in a tub in his back yard. Then he hangs his stained shit rags on his washing line to dry, and if the wind is blowing in the wrong direction it can get quite fragrant.

garce · 02-21-2004, 02:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by RedShoe
...I usually pull about 3 feet of double ply paper, and I fold that once. Then I fold that again and wipe with one pass and discard. I usually safety flush at this point so I don't overflow. That's also a big fear of mine.

So I wipe several more times maybe 5 - 6 passes and flush at least at least once during that time. Then I finish with a baby wipe. The cool wetness is quite refreshing. Then I flush for the final time and scrub my hands with the hottest water I can possibly handle.

I never examine my waste.

Are you a good wiper?

Um, I usually hop in the shower after a shit. I mean, I shit everyday between 12-1 p.m. I'm a clock. My ass is a clock. If I've eaten jalapenos or habaneros or some nasty chicken wings the night before I'll do a courtesy flush half way through, but I do a nice wipe. Grab the tissue, wad it up, and go from front to rear. You don't want that shit on your genitals.

But when I'm finished I just hop in the shower. Very refreshing.

garce

P.S. I'm giving long, thoughtful replies to posts like this? Time to go to bed.

Keev · 02-21-2004, 02:42 AM

LOL Redshoe aka West Coast Wiper

RedShoe · 02-21-2004, 05:55 AM

West Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide

Basic_man · 02-21-2004, 06:09 AM

AMN · 02-23-2004, 02:41 AM

if your so good please wipe mine.... kinda messy downstairs

carne asada burrito did a number on me

02-21-2004, 01:28 AM	#1
RedShoe 赤い靴 call me 202-456-1111 Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: The Valley Posts: 14,831	I'm a good wiper. Anyone that knows me personally knows I have major shit issues.. And I MEAN MAJOR!! I never shit in public and when I'm home, I have to shit in the dark with the water running and sometimes I sit there with a towel over my head, just incase the neighbors are peeking in somehow. ok, that being said. I consider myself an incredible wiper. I usually pull about 3 feet of double ply paper, and I fold that once. Then I fold that again and wipe with one pass and discard. I usually safety flush at this point so I don't overflow. That's also a big fear of mine. So I wipe several more times maybe 5 - 6 passes and flush at least at least once during that time. Then I finish with a baby wipe. The cool wetness is quite refreshing. Then I flush for the final time and scrub my hands with the hottest water I can possibly handle. I never examine my waste. Are you a good wiper? __________________ SPECIALTY COSTUMES • PROPS • FX Superheroes • Monsters • Robots PM for details For any manufacturing needs. Adult or otherwise. aka BonsHigh on Insta Bonsai weed plants

02-21-2004, 01:30 AM	#3
nofx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Virgin Mary's womb Posts: 16,826	dont you hate it when your thumb slips off the toilet paper and you accidently touch your poo with your thumb. so that means you have to go wash the poo from you fingers next, too much work! __________________ Often times I wonder why There's love and hate, theres live or die. When sickness comes I must decide: When feelings go, theres suicide.

02-21-2004, 01:31 AM	#5
Vox Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Montreal Posts: 2,710	I really didn't need to know that. __________________ Social profile assassination for hire

02-21-2004, 01:32 AM	#7
rounders Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: p0rn0stars & h0es Posts: 2,931	wiper? hah. __________________ ICQ#: 153923840

02-21-2004, 01:37 AM	#10
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	__________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

02-21-2004, 01:30 AM	#2
CyberTraffic Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Traffic Land ~ ICQ:213666533 Posts: 2,187	Why in the fuck would you post that on a forum?

02-21-2004, 01:36 AM	#9
Jellybeen Registered User Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 86	You can never truly reach expert poo wiper status until you have a baby in the house.

02-21-2004, 01:38 AM	#11
Jellybeen Registered User Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 86	Btw I love the pic of Boneprone and crew on their knees to pose with your footwear. I doubt they see the irony in it, though. You should frame it.

02-21-2004, 01:43 AM	#13
JDog Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Canby, OR Posts: 7,453	I'm a very good wiper! I'm just as careful! Can never be too clean! jDoG __________________ NSCash now powering ReelProfits.com ALSO FEATURING: NSCash.com :: SoloDollars.com :: ReelProfits.com :: BiminiBucks.com :: VOD PROGRAMS COMING SOON: Greedy Bucks :: Vengeance Cash NOW OFFERING OVER 60 SITES CONTACT :: JAMES SMITH :: CHIEF TECHNOLOGY OFFICER :: ICQ (711385133)

02-21-2004, 01:44 AM	#14
dropped9 Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Your moms box Posts: 26,727

02-21-2004, 02:17 AM	#18
Voodoo ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 10,592	Red... Try using baby wipes. It's much nicer, and it doesn't "ball up" on ya. As well, it has a nicer scent, than regular 2ply. __________________ "I'm selflessly supporting the common good, but only coincidentally looking out for No.1."

02-21-2004, 02:23 AM	#19
Rorschach So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 5,579	[IMG]http://www.redcoat.net/pics/*******.jpg[/IMG]

02-21-2004, 02:25 AM	#20
Mr Pheer Retired Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 21,259	******* to the rescue __________________ 2 lifeguards for Jessica

02-21-2004, 02:35 AM	#21
Rorschach So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 5,579	My elderly neighbour apparently wipes his ass with these cloth napkin things, then saves them and does a poor job of scrubbing them by hand in a tub in his back yard. Then he hangs his stained shit rags on his washing line to dry, and if the wind is blowing in the wrong direction it can get quite fragrant.

02-21-2004, 02:42 AM	#23
Keev Confirmed User Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 5,335	LOL Redshoe aka West Coast Wiper __________________ ReliableServers.com - NO REF LINK!

02-21-2004, 05:55 AM	#24
RedShoe 赤い靴 call me 202-456-1111 Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: The Valley Posts: 14,831	West Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide __________________ SPECIALTY COSTUMES • PROPS • FX Superheroes • Monsters • Robots PM for details For any manufacturing needs. Adult or otherwise. aka BonsHigh on Insta Bonsai weed plants

02-21-2004, 06:09 AM	#25
Basic_man Programming King Pin Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Montreal Posts: 27,360	lol __________________ UUGallery Builder - automated photo/video gallery plugin for Wordpress! Stop looking! Checkout Naked Hosting, online since 1999 !

02-23-2004, 02:41 AM	#26
AMN Registered User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Las vegas, NV Posts: 97	if your so good please wipe mine.... kinda messy downstairs carne asada burrito did a number on me