I'm a good wiper.
 

Anyone that knows me personally knows I have major shit issues.. And I MEAN MAJOR!!

I never shit in public and when I'm home, I have to shit in the dark with the water running and sometimes I sit there with a towel over my head, just incase the neighbors are peeking in somehow.

ok, that being said. I consider myself an incredible wiper.

I usually pull about 3 feet of double ply paper, and I fold that once. Then I fold that again and wipe with one pass and discard. I usually safety flush at this point so I don't overflow. That's also a big fear of mine.

So I wipe several more times maybe 5 - 6 passes and flush at least at least once during that time. Then I finish with a baby wipe. The cool wetness is quite refreshing. Then I flush for the final time and scrub my hands with the hottest water I can possibly handle.

I never examine my waste.

Are you a good wiper?

Why in the fuck would you post that on a forum?

dont you hate it when your thumb slips off the toilet paper and you accidently touch your poo with your thumb. so that means you have to go wash the poo from you fingers next, too much work!

why does anybody post anything on these forums

I really didn't need to know that. :disgust

Good point.

wiper? hah.

My therapist says it'll help me over come my shit issues if I share them with others.

I also have problems with jizz sticking to my legs when I jack off in the shower, but I found out it was because the water was too hot. And the protien in my jizz was basically cooking like the whites of an egg yolk and sticking to me.

You can never truly reach expert poo wiper status until you have a baby in the house.

:eek7

Btw I love the pic of Boneprone and crew on their knees to pose with your footwear.
I doubt they see the irony in it, though.
You should frame it.

Where do you think "Bow to the power" comes from?

I'm a very good wiper! I'm just as careful! :Graucho

Can never be too clean!

jDoG

:helpme

So then it comes down to the truth of who really holds the power, and the perception of who holds the power, eh? :glugglug

I thought the same question

I already told you, it's part of my therapy

Red... Try using baby wipes. It's much nicer, and it doesn't "ball up" on ya. As well, it has a nicer scent, than regular 2ply.
:2 cents:

[IMG]http://www.redcoat.net/pics/*******.jpg[/IMG]

******* to the rescue

My elderly neighbour apparently wipes his ass with these cloth napkin things, then saves them and does a poor job of scrubbing them by hand in a tub in his back yard. Then he hangs his stained shit rags on his washing line to dry, and if the wind is blowing in the wrong direction it can get quite fragrant.

Um, I usually hop in the shower after a shit. I mean, I shit everyday between 12-1 p.m. I'm a clock. My ass is a clock. If I've eaten jalapenos or habaneros or some nasty chicken wings the night before I'll do a courtesy flush half way through, but I do a nice wipe. Grab the tissue, wad it up, and go from front to rear. You don't want that shit on your genitals.

But when I'm finished I just hop in the shower. Very refreshing.

garce

P.S. I'm giving long, thoughtful replies to posts like this? Time to go to bed.

LOL Redshoe aka West Coast Wiper

West Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide

lol :1orglaugh

if your so good please wipe mine.... kinda messy downstairs

carne asada burrito did a number on me