How to get laid - GoFuckYourself.com

Malkmus · 02-17-2004, 11:53 PM

So you can't get laid ? You tried everything to find a chick who'd agree to fuck with you but no ... there is none.
That's really a fucked situation because you're getting desperate and depressed !

But, cheer up, here's the solution !
Follow these 6 easy steps and you'll be banging the hottest chicks and - bonus - you'll have a lot of new friends !

1. become an adult webmaster
( which means a webmaster that builds sites for adults, not necessarily an adult that build websites )

2. contact a pornstar
( an amateur starlette or your neighbour would do )

3. Buy a camera
( this step is important - without the cam you won't get the pornstar to believe you're a professional filmmaker)

4. Give the pornstar some bucks
( if you're broke, you should consider jerking off as a very affordable alternative solution)

5. Fuck the pornstar
(extract your penis from your boxer shorts and ask the lady to place it somewhere ... don't worry, she'll know)

6. Take some pics while you fuck
(Don't screw this step, it's not that easy - practice with a doll before, and if you don't have a doll, ask your mom to simulate a sexual act with her. She'll be ok, she loves you, she's your mom. Don't have a doll or a mom? ...hmmm ok ... ask your dad. He'll do that, he's your dad, he loves you.)

So you see ... No big deal. It's easy to get laid.

And here's the bonus step .... all free !!!!

7. Post the pics on GFY
You'll get tons of new friends admiring you and thinking how their shity lives suck comparing to yours.

You got laid and you have new friends ... isn't life beautiful ?

ryph · 02-18-2004, 12:03 AM

Titty Fucker · 02-18-2004, 12:05 AM

That's the plan.

DeanCapture · 02-18-2004, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Malkmus

3. Buy a camera
( this step is important - without the cam you won't get the pornstar to believe you're a professional filmmaker)

My favorite

cosis · 02-25-2004, 08:50 PM

beemk · 02-25-2004, 08:51 PM

haha nice post, it looks like photogregxxx is 10 steps ahead of you on this one.

mellow · 02-25-2004, 08:52 PM

Great, now I know why someone wanted to buy a 3 megapixel camera in another thread!

Spunky · 02-25-2004, 08:52 PM

Bla Bla Bla...= Shoot her some Benjamins

tayloryum · 02-25-2004, 08:52 PM

Basic_man · 02-25-2004, 08:54 PM

never saw things that way

insanesurfer · 02-25-2004, 08:54 PM

LOL sounds like a plan

DBS.US · 02-25-2004, 08:55 PM

I see you read my diary

hoe_vender · 02-25-2004, 08:56 PM

how has that worked out for you so far

senseidru · 02-25-2004, 08:57 PM

have you tried this yourself?

Malkmus · 02-25-2004, 08:59 PM

No i don't need this, i have a lovely wife

And no, i won't post pics

Peter Romero · 02-25-2004, 09:02 PM

Bad idea... wont work. You'll run outta money unless you are legit.

wdsguy · 02-25-2004, 09:26 PM

I'mma go try this right now!

kowntafit · 02-25-2004, 10:03 PM

Interesting plan.

02-17-2004, 11:53 PM	#1
Malkmus Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: French Riviera Posts: 573	How to get laid So you can't get laid ? You tried everything to find a chick who'd agree to fuck with you but no ... there is none. That's really a fucked situation because you're getting desperate and depressed ! But, cheer up, here's the solution ! Follow these 6 easy steps and you'll be banging the hottest chicks and - bonus - you'll have a lot of new friends ! 1. become an adult webmaster ( which means a webmaster that builds sites for adults, not necessarily an adult that build websites ) 2. contact a pornstar ( an amateur starlette or your neighbour would do ) 3. Buy a camera ( this step is important - without the cam you won't get the pornstar to believe you're a professional filmmaker) 4. Give the pornstar some bucks ( if you're broke, you should consider jerking off as a very affordable alternative solution) 5. Fuck the pornstar (extract your penis from your boxer shorts and ask the lady to place it somewhere ... don't worry, she'll know) 6. Take some pics while you fuck (Don't screw this step, it's not that easy - practice with a doll before, and if you don't have a doll, ask your mom to simulate a sexual act with her. She'll be ok, she loves you, she's your mom. Don't have a doll or a mom? ...hmmm ok ... ask your dad. He'll do that, he's your dad, he loves you.) So you see ... No big deal. It's easy to get laid. And here's the bonus step .... all free !!!! 7. Post the pics on GFY You'll get tons of new friends admiring you and thinking how their shity lives suck comparing to yours. You got laid and you have new friends ... isn't life beautiful ?

02-18-2004, 12:03 AM	#2
ryph Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: NJ Posts: 1,215	ok.. __________________ tom at ryphs dot com

02-18-2004, 12:05 AM	#3
Titty Fucker Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: In the Valley Posts: 589	That's the plan. __________________

02-25-2004, 08:51 PM	#6
beemk CLICK HERE Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 20,829	haha nice post, it looks like photogregxxx is 10 steps ahead of you on this one. __________________ I host with Vacares

02-25-2004, 08:52 PM	#7
mellow Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: SWEDEN Posts: 187	Great, now I know why someone wanted to buy a 3 megapixel camera in another thread! __________________ <a href='http://stats.ars4real.com/wmref/click.php?type=ban&a=75704'> <img border=0 src='http://stats.ars4real.com/wmref/load.php?type=ban&a=75704'></a>

02-25-2004, 08:50 PM	#5
cosis Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Beach Posts: 5,283

02-25-2004, 08:52 PM	#8
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,949	Bla Bla Bla...= Shoot her some Benjamins __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

02-25-2004, 08:52 PM	#9
tayloryum Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Chicago, IL, USA Posts: 423	__________________ Free Live Web Cam Girls Content for Promotion These girls CONVERT LIKE CRAZY - do yourself a favor and sign-up today!

02-25-2004, 08:54 PM	#10
Basic_man Programming King Pin Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Montreal Posts: 27,360	never saw things that way __________________ UUGallery Builder - automated photo/video gallery plugin for Wordpress! Stop looking! Checkout Naked Hosting, online since 1999 !

02-25-2004, 08:54 PM	#11
insanesurfer Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 790	LOL sounds like a plan __________________ Tired of Paypal? Then give Moneybookers a chance.

02-25-2004, 08:55 PM	#12
DBS.US Geo Cities Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: North Captiva Island, Florida USA Posts: 11,835	I see you read my diary __________________ Make a Free Chaturbate White Label site in 34 minutes and be making money tonight

02-25-2004, 08:56 PM	#13
hoe_vender Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Lincoln, NE Posts: 2,018	how has that worked out for you so far __________________ ICQ #286508534

02-25-2004, 08:57 PM	#14
senseidru Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: UKStyle.UKFlow Posts: 1,767	have you tried this yourself? __________________

02-25-2004, 08:59 PM	#15
Malkmus Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: French Riviera Posts: 573	No i don't need this, i have a lovely wife And no, i won't post pics

02-25-2004, 09:02 PM	#16
Peter Romero Long time no happy ending Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: San Diego CA Posts: 10,578	Bad idea... wont work. You'll run outta money unless you are legit. __________________ POVCash [email protected] See them all here: http://www.Petergirls.com

02-25-2004, 09:26 PM	#17
wdsguy Ryde or Die Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: California-Shanghai Posts: 19,568	I'mma go try this right now!

02-25-2004, 10:03 PM	#18
kowntafit Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Australia Posts: 4,667	Interesting plan.