Thread: How to get laid
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Old 02-17-2004, 11:53 PM  
Malkmus
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: French Riviera
Posts: 573
How to get laid

So you can't get laid ? You tried everything to find a chick who'd agree to fuck with you but no ... there is none.
That's really a fucked situation because you're getting desperate and depressed !

But, cheer up, here's the solution !
Follow these 6 easy steps and you'll be banging the hottest chicks and - bonus - you'll have a lot of new friends !


1. become an adult webmaster
( which means a webmaster that builds sites for adults, not necessarily an adult that build websites )

2. contact a pornstar
( an amateur starlette or your neighbour would do )

3. Buy a camera
( this step is important - without the cam you won't get the pornstar to believe you're a professional filmmaker)

4. Give the pornstar some bucks
( if you're broke, you should consider jerking off as a very affordable alternative solution)

5. Fuck the pornstar
(extract your penis from your boxer shorts and ask the lady to place it somewhere ... don't worry, she'll know)

6. Take some pics while you fuck
(Don't screw this step, it's not that easy - practice with a doll before, and if you don't have a doll, ask your mom to simulate a sexual act with her. She'll be ok, she loves you, she's your mom. Don't have a doll or a mom? ...hmmm ok ... ask your dad. He'll do that, he's your dad, he loves you.)



So you see ... No big deal. It's easy to get laid.


And here's the bonus step .... all free !!!!


7. Post the pics on GFY
You'll get tons of new friends admiring you and thinking how their shity lives suck comparing to yours.


You got laid and you have new friends ... isn't life beautiful ?
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