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Old 02-02-2004, 05:42 PM   #1
Amputate Your Head
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Michael condemns Janet

Monday, February 2, 2004

Superbowl Breast Coverage
Michael to Janet: You're an embarrassment to the family

Houston, TX - Michael Jackson, the King of Pop and star of The Smoking Gun, released a statement this morning through the Nation of Islam, condemning his sister's bare-breasted Superbowl halftime stunt. The stunt has become the most talked about story from the 2004 Superbowl, overshadowing the Patriot victory and inciting more internet traffic than MyDoom's swipe at SCO.

At the end of the performance, Justin Timberlake, who is known for his über-impressive sexual résumé, ripped off part of Janet's costume exposing her right breast. This while he sang "I can have you naked, by the end of this song," a line from his "Rock Your Body" single. While Janet quickly moved to cover her breast, the broadcast's sound was completely eclipsed by a collective "damn!" and high-fives from men the world over.

Michael stated that this incident is by far the most embarrassing of any Jackson scandals in recent years.

"I've stood by Janet through thick and thin. Through her nasty divorce, to the rumors of her espresso-laced enemas. But this has gone too far. The Jackson family name has stood for dignity and pride for so long. For her to ruin it with one fell swoop of Justin's perverted hand is disgraceful. What will the world think of us now?

"To molest young boys is one thing, the Catholic Church understands that. But to expose yourself in front of 140 million people. Where does this madness end? We have to draw the line somewhere."

Jermaine Jackson, who has been competing with Gloria Allred for the coveted "Media Whore" title, offered his insightful commentary on Fox News this morning.

"I'm kinda on the fence with this one. I mean, I love Janet more than the world, but she shamed the family yesterday. Now, instead of the Jackson name being synonymous with family values and man-boy love sleepovers, it will be linked forever with Janet's bare breast. We can't have that."
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Old 02-02-2004, 05:43 PM   #2
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hahaha

Link ?
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Old 02-02-2004, 05:44 PM   #3
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For her to ruin it with one fell swoop of Justin's perverted hand is disgraceful.
Uh...
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Old 02-02-2004, 05:44 PM   #4
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http://www.thewiredpress.com/archive...wl_janet.html#
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Old 02-02-2004, 05:44 PM   #5
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lol.
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Old 02-02-2004, 05:46 PM   #6
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LOL
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Old 02-02-2004, 05:47 PM   #7
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"To molest young boys is one thing, the Catholic Church understands that. But to expose yourself in front of 140 million people. Where does this madness end? We have to draw the line somewhere."


no fucking way, did he really say that?
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Old 02-02-2004, 05:47 PM   #8
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Old 02-02-2004, 05:48 PM   #9
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"To molest young boys is one thing, the Catholic Church understands that. But to expose yourself in front of 140 million people. Where does this madness end? We have to draw the line somewhere."


NO fucking way that article is real
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Old 02-02-2004, 05:49 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by Fu-Q
"To molest young boys is one thing, the Catholic Church understands that. But to expose yourself in front of 140 million people. Where does this madness end? We have to draw the line somewhere."


no fucking way, did he really say that?
wiredpress.com is a satire site like theonion.com
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Old 02-02-2004, 05:49 PM   #11
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fucking crazy
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Old 02-02-2004, 05:50 PM   #12
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Good one Amp
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Old 02-02-2004, 05:50 PM   #13
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LOL nice
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Old 02-02-2004, 06:02 PM   #14
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Old 02-02-2004, 06:05 PM   #15
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now I just got to wonder....
did Janet ply Justine with the dreaded "Jesus Juice"
inquiring minds want to know?
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Old 02-02-2004, 06:05 PM   #16
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While Janet quickly moved to cover her breast
That's not what I saw ....

She can show both breasts, will never be worst than molesting children ... and you can add the pussy.

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Old 02-02-2004, 06:06 PM   #17
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that was great
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Old 02-02-2004, 06:06 PM   #18
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lol . But seriously theres a rumour michael jackson was at the superbowl.
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Old 02-02-2004, 06:09 PM   #19
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Originally posted by Fu-Q
no fucking way, did he really say that?
um ....

no.
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Old 02-02-2004, 06:13 PM   #20
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I still think Justin was hoping the whole top would come off...
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Old 02-02-2004, 06:29 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by DarkJedi
"To molest young boys is one thing, the Catholic Church understands that. But to expose yourself in front of 140 million people. Where does this madness end? We have to draw the line somewhere."


NO fucking way that article is real
hahaha thats good
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Old 02-02-2004, 06:36 PM   #22
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some people here are fucking naive
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Old 02-02-2004, 06:44 PM   #23
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Great read. There's nothing like satire written correctly!
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Old 02-02-2004, 06:46 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
Monday, February 2, 2004

"The Jackson family name has stood for dignity and pride for so long. For her to ruin it with one fell swoop of Justin's perverted hand is disgraceful. What will the world think of us now?"

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Old 02-02-2004, 06:49 PM   #25
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Well done! Good post!
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Old 02-02-2004, 06:52 PM   #26
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"Michael stated that this incident is by far the most embarrassing of any Jackson scandals in recent years."

I think this is called being delusional.. It must be nice!!
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Old 02-02-2004, 06:56 PM   #27
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Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
Monday, February 2, 2004

"I've stood by Janet through thick and thin. Through her nasty divorce, to the rumors of her espresso-laced enemas. But this has gone too far. The Jackson family name has stood for dignity and pride for so long. For her to ruin it with one fell swoop of Justin's perverted hand is disgraceful. What will the world think of us now?

"To molest young boys is one thing, the Catholic Church understands that. But to expose yourself in front of 140 million people. Where does this madness end? We have to draw the line somewhere."
HAHAHAHAHA. Espresso-laced enemas. HAHAHA.
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Old 02-02-2004, 07:40 PM   #28
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lol..I love seeing how many people apparently reply without reading the rest of the thread.
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Old 02-02-2004, 07:48 PM   #29
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"To molest young boys is one thing, the Catholic Church understands that. But to expose yourself in front of 140 million people. Where does this madness end? We have to draw the line somewhere."

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Old 02-02-2004, 07:52 PM   #30
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Old 02-02-2004, 07:56 PM   #31
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You guys are retarded if you actually thought there was a possiblility that he actually said that.
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Old 02-02-2004, 08:14 PM   #32
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Wasn't LaToya in Playboy?
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Old 02-02-2004, 09:41 PM   #33
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no fucking way, did he really say that?
there are days that this place really scares me
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Old 02-02-2004, 10:16 PM   #34
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there are days that this place really scares me
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