Michael condemns Janet
 

Monday, February 2, 2004

Superbowl Breast Coverage
Michael to Janet: You're an embarrassment to the family

Houston, TX - Michael Jackson, the King of Pop and star of The Smoking Gun, released a statement this morning through the Nation of Islam, condemning his sister's bare-breasted Superbowl halftime stunt. The stunt has become the most talked about story from the 2004 Superbowl, overshadowing the Patriot victory and inciting more internet traffic than MyDoom's swipe at SCO.

At the end of the performance, Justin Timberlake, who is known for his über-impressive sexual résumé, ripped off part of Janet's costume exposing her right breast. This while he sang "I can have you naked, by the end of this song," a line from his "Rock Your Body" single. While Janet quickly moved to cover her breast, the broadcast's sound was completely eclipsed by a collective "damn!" and high-fives from men the world over.

Michael stated that this incident is by far the most embarrassing of any Jackson scandals in recent years.

"I've stood by Janet through thick and thin. Through her nasty divorce, to the rumors of her espresso-laced enemas. But this has gone too far. The Jackson family name has stood for dignity and pride for so long. For her to ruin it with one fell swoop of Justin's perverted hand is disgraceful. What will the world think of us now?

"To molest young boys is one thing, the Catholic Church understands that. But to expose yourself in front of 140 million people. Where does this madness end? We have to draw the line somewhere."

Jermaine Jackson, who has been competing with Gloria Allred for the coveted "Media Whore" title, offered his insightful commentary on Fox News this morning.

"I'm kinda on the fence with this one. I mean, I love Janet more than the world, but she shamed the family yesterday. Now, instead of the Jackson name being synonymous with family values and man-boy love sleepovers, it will be linked forever with Janet's bare breast. We can't have that."

hahaha

Link ?

Uh...

lol.

LOL

"To molest young boys is one thing, the Catholic Church understands that. But to expose yourself in front of 140 million people. Where does this madness end? We have to draw the line somewhere."


no fucking way, did he really say that?

:1orglaugh

"To molest young boys is one thing, the Catholic Church understands that. But to expose yourself in front of 140 million people. Where does this madness end? We have to draw the line somewhere."


NO fucking way that article is real :1orglaugh

wiredpress.com is a satire site like theonion.com :winkwink:

fucking crazy :helpme

Good one Amp :thumbsup

LOL nice

:1orglaugh

now I just got to wonder....
did Janet ply Justine with the dreaded "Jesus Juice"
inquiring minds want to know?

That's not what I saw ....

She can show both breasts, will never be worst than molesting children ... and you can add the pussy.

:2 cents:

that was great

lol . But seriously theres a rumour michael jackson was at the superbowl.

um ....

no.

I still think Justin was hoping the whole top would come off...

hahaha thats good

some people here are fucking naive

Great read. There's nothing like satire written correctly! :thumbsup

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Well done! Good post! :1orglaugh

"Michael stated that this incident is by far the most embarrassing of any Jackson scandals in recent years."

I think this is called being delusional.. It must be nice!!

HAHAHAHAHA. Espresso-laced enemas. HAHAHA.

lol..I love seeing how many people apparently reply without reading the rest of the thread.

"To molest young boys is one thing, the Catholic Church understands that. But to expose yourself in front of 140 million people. Where does this madness end? We have to draw the line somewhere."

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

:Graucho :1orglaugh :Graucho :1orglaugh :Graucho

You guys are retarded if you actually thought there was a possiblility that he actually said that.

Wasn't LaToya in Playboy?

there are days that this place really scares me

:1orglaugh