Best excuse to give when being pulled over? - GoFuckYourself.com

Za Ha · 01-31-2004, 11:06 PM

Officer, I really gotta go take a shit.

nathan_f · 01-31-2004, 11:08 PM

Late for church.

AvanteGuard · 01-31-2004, 11:08 PM

Hello Ossifer!

RP Fade · 01-31-2004, 11:10 PM

Tell him you're running late to a NWA concert

Theo · 01-31-2004, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RP Fade
Tell him you're running late to a NWA concert

lol

xanx · 01-31-2004, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Za Ha
Officer, I really gotta go take a shit.

believe it or not that used to be a real issue, not so much anymore though unless you have a 80 yearold judge that has a problem w/ shitting himself and feels bad for you lol..

fuzebox · 01-31-2004, 11:18 PM

A cop asked a friend of mine once to see his pilot's license.

ThunderBalls · 01-31-2004, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fuzebox
A cop asked a friend of mine once to see his pilot's license.

Huh?

KRL · 02-01-2004, 12:06 AM

I was flying on the Ventura Fwy to a birthday for me that I was late for.

A CHP officer nailed me doing close to 100MPH and I thought oh fuck diddy, he could haul me in at this speed if he's a dick. Luckily he was totally cool.

He came up to the window and said "So where are we going to tonight at the speed of light?"

I laughed and said I bet you've never heard this one before officer, but I'm late for my birthday party. I know I'm driving fast, but this SL is designed and engineerd to drive safely on the Autobahn at speeds up to 160 and its hard to judge the speed in these cars if you don't look down at the speedometer they're so smooth and quiet.

He laughed and asked for my license. Checked that it was my bday. And said, Happy Birthday, drive slow the rest of the way you're not on the Autobahn.

wdsguy · 02-01-2004, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KRL
I was flying on the Ventura Fwy to a birthday for me that I was late for.

A CHP officer nailed me doing close to 100MPH and I thought oh fuck diddy, he could haul me in at this speed if he's a dick. Luckily he was totally cool.

He came up to the window and said "So where are we going to tonight at the speed of light?"

I laughed and said I bet you've never heard this one before officer, but I'm late for my birthday party. I know I'm driving fast, but this SL is designed and engineerd to drive safely on the Autobahn at speeds up to 160 and its hard to judge the speed in these cars if you don't look down at the speedometer they're so smooth and quiet.

He laughed and asked for my license. Checked that it was my bday. And said, Happy Birthday, drive slow the rest of the way you're not on the Autobahn.

good shit haha

ModelPerfect · 02-01-2004, 01:04 AM

I had a big Ford Expedition pull up next to my Saleen on the interstate and rev like he wanted a race. I laughed, but he persisted, so I kicked it and smoked his ass until he was a spec in my rearview mirror. I slowed down to let him catch up for the laughing at he deserved so dearly, but instead he pulled behind me and popped his blue lights. Turned out he was the chief of police. All he did was get out, laugh at me and told me to slow it down...

ModelPerfect · 02-01-2004, 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AvanteGuard
Hello Ossifer!

Nice

Tala · 02-01-2004, 01:08 AM

There was a middle aged guy from Miami who bought a brand new Mercedes convertible SLK. He took off down the road, flooring it up to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he thought and floored it some more. He looked in his rear view mirror and there was a Florida Highway Patrol Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blasting. "I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he floored it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing" and pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the State Trooper to catch up with him.

The Trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man. "Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday the 13th. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man looked back at the Trooper and said, "Last week my wife ran off with a State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."

The Trooper said, "Have a nice day."

GonePhishing · 02-01-2004, 02:24 AM

I used to coach a college speech team. Whenever I got pulled over speeding, I would grab a buch of tournament entry froms and other speech realted documents out of my shoulder bag and tell them that they were waiting to start a tournament but couldn't because I was late heading to campus.

ModelPerfect · 02-01-2004, 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tala
There was a middle aged guy from Miami who bought a brand new Mercedes convertible SLK. He took off down the road, flooring it up to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he thought and floored it some more. He looked in his rear view mirror and there was a Florida Highway Patrol Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blasting. "I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he floored it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing" and pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the State Trooper to catch up with him.

The Trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man. "Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday the 13th. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man looked back at the Trooper and said, "Last week my wife ran off with a State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."

The Trooper said, "Have a nice day."

I've heard it before, but always funny.

Tala · 02-01-2004, 02:33 AM

Seriously, Marguarita, I haven't had any officers tonight.

mardigras · 02-01-2004, 02:33 AM

I was safe...TAG, you're it!

SomeCreep · 02-01-2004, 02:35 AM

"Whatever I did wasnt my fault, it was the booze"

Tala · 02-01-2004, 02:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SomeCreep
"Whatever I did wasnt my fault, it was the booze"

One of my best friends in high school got pulled over. When the officer asked why she was doing 87 in a 35 zone, she blurted out, "My wife's having a baby!"

lock · 02-01-2004, 02:38 AM

This one worked no shit

Look at my record it says i am fucked if i speed now look at the fuel light you got me using the last of my fuel didnt want to get out of forth instead he found a defect lucky i had a bald front tyre

kmanrox · 02-01-2004, 02:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tala
There was a middle aged guy from Miami who bought a brand new Mercedes convertible SLK. He took off down the road, flooring it up to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he thought and floored it some more. He looked in his rear view mirror and there was a Florida Highway Patrol Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blasting. "I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he floored it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing" and pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the State Trooper to catch up with him.

The Trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man. "Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday the 13th. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man looked back at the Trooper and said, "Last week my wife ran off with a State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."

The Trooper said, "Have a nice day."

bwaahahahaa

raceman · 02-01-2004, 02:49 AM

Well I think the funniest one I had was when I owned a garage that specialised in Aston Martins and i had picked up a customers Aston Martin DB6 Volante that had had its soft top slashed and broken into, now I had to drive through Liverpool to get a quote on its repair since I did not do the soft tops myself.

Anyways this scruffy looking Ford Cortina with 2 scruffy looking dudes came along side me and showed this plastic sign which simply had "POLICE" on it, "Yeah" I thought fuck you dudes I'm not falling for that one..... and I floored the throttle, well they kept following me until I got the the repair shop and they got out of their cars brandishing their warrant cards....

Ummmm these 2 dudes where from the stolen car division of the local Police force, the thing that got them was although I was 24 at the time I looked about 17 and they thought I was a "joy rider"
good job I had all the right paper work on me...

phogirl69 · 02-01-2004, 02:52 AM

A cop followed me today but didn't pull me over thank God! Off topic question, but one of my "front lights" is burned out and I need to replace it. But when I look at the display in my car the "brake light" thing is lighted meaning my brake light is out. Does this mean both front and back lights are out?

I bought "brake lights" from autozone but I don't know how to install it! You need to use a screwdriver and open something in the back! What are the lights called for the front lights? "Front lights"? I got to fix this shit soon before I get pulled over driving in the dark with my lights messed up!

*Edit* I just relized they are called headlights, never mind...

Does the brake light go on when the headlights are burned up usually?

Tala · 02-01-2004, 02:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by phogirl69
A cop followed me today but didn't pull me over thank God! Off topic question, but one of my "front lights" is burned out and I need to replace it. But when I look at the display in my car the "brake light" thing is lighted meaning my brake light is out. Does this mean both front and back lights are out?

I bought "brake lights" from autozone but I don't know how to install it! You need to use a screwdriver and open something in the back! What are the lights called for the front lights? "Front lights"? I got to fix this shit soon before I get pulled over driving in the dark with my lights messed up!

*Edit* I just relized they are called headlights, never mind...

Does the brake light go on when the headlights are burned up usually?

Answering your question: No, the headlights and brake lights are separate thingies. What you ahve when your headlights are on are running lights in the back. They get bright when you depress the brake, and those are your brake lights.

Go back to Auto Zone and ask the nice guys behind the counter if one of them would be nice and help you change your lights. Most of them will do that, no charge.

Babagirls · 02-01-2004, 03:09 AM

Ladies; Never fails......

"I just started my period while driving & I'm bleeding REALLY bad!!"

KC · 02-01-2004, 03:13 AM

Officer, I have a trunk load of Illegal Aliens. I need to get them home so they don't suffocate.

boardersweetie · 02-01-2004, 03:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Babagirls
Ladies; Never fails......

"I just started my period while driving & I'm bleeding REALLY bad!!"

That's mine... male cops won't touch that.

beemk · 02-01-2004, 03:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tala
There was a middle aged guy from Miami who bought a brand new Mercedes convertible SLK. He took off down the road, flooring it up to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he thought and floored it some more. He looked in his rear view mirror and there was a Florida Highway Patrol Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blasting. "I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he floored it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing" and pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the State Trooper to catch up with him.

The Trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man. "Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday the 13th. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man looked back at the Trooper and said, "Last week my wife ran off with a State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."

The Trooper said, "Have a nice day."

hahahahaha thats good

beemk · 02-01-2004, 03:26 AM

if you're going super fast keep going and stop at the next rest area and run into the bathroom and stay in like 10 minutes and come out and say you had bad diareeah.

Za Ha · 02-01-2004, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Babagirls
Ladies; Never fails......

"I just started my period while driving & I'm bleeding REALLY bad!!"

Chicks have it soo easy.

slavdogg · 02-01-2004, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KC
Officer, I have a trunk load of Illegal Aliens. I need to get them home so they don't suffocate.

KC, you've been smugling them Mexicans again ?

m00d · 02-01-2004, 11:28 AM

My favorite Tv show is on

01-31-2004, 11:06 PM	#1
Za Ha Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Still lost Posts: 5,112	Best excuse to give when being pulled over? Officer, I really gotta go take a shit.

01-31-2004, 11:08 PM	#3
AvanteGuard Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Cortland, OH Posts: 451	Hello Ossifer! __________________ Looking for Fast Professional Programming? http://www.imadigan.com ICQ: 314-942-262 \| MSN/Email: [email protected]

01-31-2004, 11:10 PM	#4
RP Fade Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 3,343	Tell him you're running late to a NWA concert __________________ HomemadeCash.com - Homemade & GF sites powered by NScash.com HomemadeVideoPass.com - The only all homemade mega site OurHomemadePorno.com - Real couples fucking on camera Contact ICQ: 400-786-531 Email: fade AT nscash.com

02-01-2004, 12:06 AM	#9
KRL Entrepreneur Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: USA Posts: 31,429	I was flying on the Ventura Fwy to a birthday for me that I was late for. A CHP officer nailed me doing close to 100MPH and I thought oh fuck diddy, he could haul me in at this speed if he's a dick. Luckily he was totally cool. He came up to the window and said "So where are we going to tonight at the speed of light?" I laughed and said I bet you've never heard this one before officer, but I'm late for my birthday party. I know I'm driving fast, but this SL is designed and engineerd to drive safely on the Autobahn at speeds up to 160 and its hard to judge the speed in these cars if you don't look down at the speedometer they're so smooth and quiet. He laughed and asked for my license. Checked that it was my bday. And said, Happy Birthday, drive slow the rest of the way you're not on the Autobahn. __________________ If you would like to develop your domains, you can lease inexpensive foreign labor from the leaders in the field at iWebmasters.com TO LOWER YOUR COSTS AND INCREASE YOUR PRODUCTION! * * * * * * * * * * * * Domains Adult News KRL's Newsletter Biz Tips Just Listed Domains

02-01-2004, 01:04 AM	#11
ModelPerfect Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: USA Posts: 2,862	I had a big Ford Expedition pull up next to my Saleen on the interstate and rev like he wanted a race. I laughed, but he persisted, so I kicked it and smoked his ass until he was a spec in my rearview mirror. I slowed down to let him catch up for the laughing at he deserved so dearly, but instead he pulled behind me and popped his blue lights. Turned out he was the chief of police. All he did was get out, laugh at me and told me to slow it down... __________________ Logan modelperfect [at] gmail.com http://www.modelperfect.com (Proudly hosted at www.webair.com )

01-31-2004, 11:08 PM	#2
nathan_f Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Think of me as Chomsky with dick jokes. Posts: 3,983	Late for church.

01-31-2004, 11:18 PM	#7
fuzebox making it rain Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: seattle Posts: 22,131	A cop asked a friend of mine once to see his pilot's license.

02-01-2004, 01:08 AM	#13
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	There was a middle aged guy from Miami who bought a brand new Mercedes convertible SLK. He took off down the road, flooring it up to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he thought and floored it some more. He looked in his rear view mirror and there was a Florida Highway Patrol Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blasting. "I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he floored it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing" and pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the State Trooper to catch up with him. The Trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man. "Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday the 13th. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go." The man looked back at the Trooper and said, "Last week my wife ran off with a State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back." The Trooper said, "Have a nice day." __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

02-01-2004, 02:24 AM	#14
GonePhishing Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Blah Posts: 2,474	I used to coach a college speech team. Whenever I got pulled over speeding, I would grab a buch of tournament entry froms and other speech realted documents out of my shoulder bag and tell them that they were waiting to start a tournament but couldn't because I was late heading to campus. __________________ If Biff Fucks My Mom... I Might Never Be Born...

02-01-2004, 02:33 AM	#16
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	Seriously, Marguarita, I haven't had any officers tonight. __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

02-01-2004, 02:33 AM	#17
mardigras Bon temps! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: down yonder Posts: 14,194	I was safe...TAG, you're it! __________________ .

02-01-2004, 02:35 AM	#18
SomeCreep :glugglug Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Where the Wild Things Are Posts: 26,118	"Whatever I did wasnt my fault, it was the booze" __________________ Webair Hosting I use and recommend Webair for hosting.

02-01-2004, 02:38 AM	#20
lock Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Australia Posts: 5,065	This one worked no shit Look at my record it says i am fucked if i speed now look at the fuel light you got me using the last of my fuel didnt want to get out of forth instead he found a defect lucky i had a bald front tyre __________________ Traffic.Tools - 40+ Free Tools Free.Marketing - 150+ Free Tools Submission.Tools - 20+ Free Tools

02-01-2004, 02:49 AM	#22
raceman Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Now offshore on an island paying a heluva lot less tax than you suckers Posts: 1,064	Well I think the funniest one I had was when I owned a garage that specialised in Aston Martins and i had picked up a customers Aston Martin DB6 Volante that had had its soft top slashed and broken into, now I had to drive through Liverpool to get a quote on its repair since I did not do the soft tops myself. Anyways this scruffy looking Ford Cortina with 2 scruffy looking dudes came along side me and showed this plastic sign which simply had "POLICE" on it, "Yeah" I thought fuck you dudes I'm not falling for that one..... and I floored the throttle, well they kept following me until I got the the repair shop and they got out of their cars brandishing their warrant cards.... Ummmm these 2 dudes where from the stolen car division of the local Police force, the thing that got them was although I was 24 at the time I looked about 17 and they thought I was a "joy rider" good job I had all the right paper work on me... __________________ "ILLEGITIMIS NON CARBORUNDUM" <-- "DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN" General Joe Stiwell ICQ: 213-684-158

02-01-2004, 02:52 AM	#23
phogirl69 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 3,330	A cop followed me today but didn't pull me over thank God! Off topic question, but one of my "front lights" is burned out and I need to replace it. But when I look at the display in my car the "brake light" thing is lighted meaning my brake light is out. Does this mean both front and back lights are out? I bought "brake lights" from autozone but I don't know how to install it! You need to use a screwdriver and open something in the back! What are the lights called for the front lights? "Front lights"? I got to fix this shit soon before I get pulled over driving in the dark with my lights messed up! Edit I just relized they are called headlights, never mind... Does the brake light go on when the headlights are burned up usually?

02-01-2004, 03:09 AM	#25
Babagirls Text Writer Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 18,812	Ladies; Never fails...... "I just started my period while driving & I'm bleeding REALLY bad!!"

02-01-2004, 03:13 AM	#26
KC Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 1995 Posts: 2,417	Officer, I have a trunk load of Illegal Aliens. I need to get them home so they don't suffocate. __________________ Jupiter Hosting, Inc. Vice President, Business Development kc (AT) jupiterhosting.com

02-01-2004, 03:26 AM	#29
beemk CLICK HERE Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 20,829	if you're going super fast keep going and stop at the next rest area and run into the bathroom and stay in like 10 minutes and come out and say you had bad diareeah. __________________ I host with Vacares

02-01-2004, 11:28 AM	#32
m00d So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2002 Location: Parts Unknown Posts: 3,129	My favorite Tv show is on