Best excuse to give when being pulled over?
 

Officer, I really gotta go take a shit.

Late for church.

Hello Ossifer!

Tell him you're running late to a NWA concert :thumbsup

lol

believe it or not that used to be a real issue, not so much anymore though unless you have a 80 yearold judge that has a problem w/ shitting himself and feels bad for you lol..

A cop asked a friend of mine once to see his pilot's license.

Huh?

I was flying on the Ventura Fwy to a birthday for me that I was late for.

A CHP officer nailed me doing close to 100MPH and I thought oh fuck diddy, he could haul me in at this speed if he's a dick. Luckily he was totally cool.

He came up to the window and said "So where are we going to tonight at the speed of light?"

I laughed and said I bet you've never heard this one before officer, but I'm late for my birthday party. I know I'm driving fast, but this SL is designed and engineerd to drive safely on the Autobahn at speeds up to 160 and its hard to judge the speed in these cars if you don't look down at the speedometer they're so smooth and quiet.

He laughed and asked for my license. Checked that it was my bday. And said, Happy Birthday, drive slow the rest of the way you're not on the Autobahn.

:Graucho

good shit haha :glugglug

I had a big Ford Expedition pull up next to my Saleen on the interstate and rev like he wanted a race. I laughed, but he persisted, so I kicked it and smoked his ass until he was a spec in my rearview mirror. I slowed down to let him catch up for the laughing at he deserved so dearly, but instead he pulled behind me and popped his blue lights. Turned out he was the chief of police. All he did was get out, laugh at me and told me to slow it down...

Nice :thumbsup

There was a middle aged guy from Miami who bought a brand new Mercedes convertible SLK. He took off down the road, flooring it up to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he thought and floored it some more. He looked in his rear view mirror and there was a Florida Highway Patrol Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blasting. "I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he floored it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing" and pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the State Trooper to catch up with him.

The Trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man. "Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday the 13th. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man looked back at the Trooper and said, "Last week my wife ran off with a State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."

The Trooper said, "Have a nice day."

I used to coach a college speech team. Whenever I got pulled over speeding, I would grab a buch of tournament entry froms and other speech realted documents out of my shoulder bag and tell them that they were waiting to start a tournament but couldn't because I was late heading to campus.

I've heard it before, but always funny. :thumbsup

Seriously, Marguarita, I haven't had any officers tonight. :thumbsup

I was safe...TAG, you're it!

"Whatever I did wasnt my fault, it was the booze"

:glugglug

:1orglaugh

One of my best friends in high school got pulled over. When the officer asked why she was doing 87 in a 35 zone, she blurted out, "My wife's having a baby!"

This one worked no shit


Look at my record it says i am fucked if i speed now look at the fuel light you got me using the last of my fuel didnt want to get out of forth instead he found a defect lucky i had a bald front tyre :1orglaugh

bwaahahahaa

Well I think the funniest one I had was when I owned a garage that specialised in Aston Martins and i had picked up a customers Aston Martin DB6 Volante that had had its soft top slashed and broken into, now I had to drive through Liverpool to get a quote on its repair since I did not do the soft tops myself.

Anyways this scruffy looking Ford Cortina with 2 scruffy looking dudes came along side me and showed this plastic sign which simply had "POLICE" on it, "Yeah" I thought fuck you dudes I'm not falling for that one..... and I floored the throttle, well they kept following me until I got the the repair shop and they got out of their cars brandishing their warrant cards....

Ummmm these 2 dudes where from the stolen car division of the local Police force, the thing that got them was although I was 24 at the time I looked about 17 and they thought I was a "joy rider"
good job I had all the right paper work on me...

:thumbsup

A cop followed me today but didn't pull me over thank God! Off topic question, but one of my "front lights" is burned out and I need to replace it. But when I look at the display in my car the "brake light" thing is lighted meaning my brake light is out. Does this mean both front and back lights are out?

I bought "brake lights" from autozone but I don't know how to install it! You need to use a screwdriver and open something in the back! What are the lights called for the front lights? "Front lights"? I got to fix this shit soon before I get pulled over driving in the dark with my lights messed up!

*Edit* I just relized they are called headlights, never mind...

Does the brake light go on when the headlights are burned up usually? :(

Answering your question: No, the headlights and brake lights are separate thingies. What you ahve when your headlights are on are running lights in the back. They get bright when you depress the brake, and those are your brake lights.

Go back to Auto Zone and ask the nice guys behind the counter if one of them would be nice and help you change your lights. Most of them will do that, no charge. :)

Ladies; Never fails......


"I just started my period while driving & I'm bleeding REALLY bad!!"

:thumbsup

Officer, I have a trunk load of Illegal Aliens. I need to get them home so they don't suffocate.

That's mine... male cops won't touch that.

hahahahaha thats good

if you're going super fast keep going and stop at the next rest area and run into the bathroom and stay in like 10 minutes and come out and say you had bad diareeah.

Chicks have it soo easy.

KC, you've been smugling them Mexicans again ?

My favorite Tv show is on