You ever change the words to Christmas carols? - GoFuckYourself.com

CDSmith · 12-23-2003, 11:00 PM

I do.

"Deck... my balls with boughs of HOL-LY, fa-la-la-la-laa, la-la-la-LAAA
Tis... the sea-son to do HOL-LY, fa-la-la-la-laa, la-la-la-LAAA"
(I once knew a girl named Holly)

"We're walk-in' a-round, stumbling on the ground
walkin' in our winter under-WEARRR"

"Chil-dren roasting on an open fire..."

Got any good ones?

Tala · 12-23-2003, 11:03 PM

"Slave bells ring
Are you listening?
Screams in pain
It's masochistic
A beautiful sight
she's in pain tonight
Writhing in a dungeon wonderland."

Sorry.....

CDSmith · 12-23-2003, 11:04 PM

Yeah, I sometimes have too much time on my hands. So?

Dash-ing through the snoww
'tween a one whore's o-pen legs
'oer the bed we gooo
bouncing all the WAYYY"

Tala.... I lika dat one.

BruceM · 12-23-2003, 11:08 PM

Good one Tala

CDSmith · 12-23-2003, 11:10 PM

From one of my "joke guys"....

'Twas the night before Christmas,
and Geez it was neat,
The kids were both gone,
and my wife was in heat.
The doors were all bolted,
and the phone was off the hook,
It was time for some nooky,
by hook or by crook.
Momma in her teddy,
and I am in the nude,
Had just hit the bedroom
and reached for the lube.
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built,
Showed a broom up his ass,
clean up to the hilt.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.
With a fat little driver,
half out of his sled,
A sock in his ear,
and a bra on his head.
Sure as I'm speaking,
he was as high as a kite.
And he yelled to his team,
but it didn't sound right.
Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.
Look out for the lamp post,
and don't hit the tree,
Quit shaking the sleigh,
'cause I gotta go pee.
They cleared the old lamp post,
the tree got a rub,
Just as Santa leaned out
and threw up on my shrub.
And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.
I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,
When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.
His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,
He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.
"That was some brothel," he said with a smile,
"The reindeer are pooped, and I'll just stay here awhile.
He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink,
Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.
I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,
The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.
Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,
But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed. The first
thing he found was a pair of false tits, The next was a handgun with a
penis that spits. A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find, And a
six pair of panties, the edible kind. A bra without nipples, a penis
extension, And several other things that I shouldn't even mention. A
cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil, A dildo so long, it lay in
a coil. "This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit, So I'll leave
'em here, and then I'll just split." He filled every stocking and then
took his leave, With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve. He
sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead, Thus he fell on his
ass and broke wind instead. In time he was seated, took the reins of his
hitch, Saying, "Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!" The
sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout, "The best thing about
sex is that it never wears out!"

Tala · 12-23-2003, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CDSmith
Yeah, I sometimes have too much time on my hands. So?

Dash-ing through the snoww
'tween a one whore's o-pen legs
'oer the bed we gooo
bouncing all the WAYYY"

Tala.... I lika dat one.

Thank you.

O shaving cream
O shaving cream
How lovely is your lather.

O shaving cream
O shaving cream
How lovely is your lather.

To paint her snatch
With loving care
And make the look
of underwear

O shaving cream
O shaving cream
How lovely is your lather

She shaves you off
so carefully
How I love
my bare baby

O shaving cream
O shaving cream
How lovely is your lather.

Alky · 12-23-2003, 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tala
"Slave bells ring
Are you listening?
Screams in pain
It's masochistic
A beautiful sight
she's in pain tonight
Writhing in a dungeon wonderland."

Sorry.....

Tala · 12-23-2003, 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Alky

What?

Gruntled · 12-23-2003, 11:30 PM

Good one.

How about

Jingle bell
Jingle bell
Jingle bell cock
with a cock ring and a toe ring
Hoes are all lines up in their scanty clothes
now the jingle cok has to throb

pfft!

CDSmith · 12-23-2003, 11:31 PM

Some people just don't get the whole "fetish Christmas" thing.

Babaganoosh · 12-23-2003, 11:32 PM

Circa 2nd grade...

Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
Batmobile lost a wheel
and Joker got away!

tootie · 12-23-2003, 11:33 PM

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
everyone felt shitty, even the mouse!

Dad at the whore house, Mom smoking grass,
and I just settled down for a nice piece of ass.

Then out on the lawn there rose such a clatter,
I sprang from my piece to see what was the matter.

He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,
I knew in an instant that fat fucker fell.

He filled all the stockings with pretzels and beer,
and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.

He rose up the chimney with one great big fart,
that fat mother fucker tore my chimney apart!

He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight,
"Piss on you all and have one hell of a night."

tootie · 12-23-2003, 11:34 PM

BTW, I didn't write that one, my friend had it on a Christmas card when I was in 8th grade. LOL

KRL · 12-23-2003, 11:34 PM

Yeh, tonight driving in the car behind so many loser drivers.

I got sick of hearing Christmas songs on every station too so
I was singing Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas to the words,

Go Fuck Yourself, Go Fuckyourself . . . .

Babaganoosh · 12-23-2003, 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tootie
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
everyone felt shitty, even the mouse!

Dad at the whore house, Mom smoking grass,
and I just settled down for a nice piece of ass.

Then out on the lawn there rose such a clatter,
I sprang from my piece to see what was the matter.

Out on the lawn I saw a big dick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Prick.

He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,
I knew in an instant that fat fucker fell.

He filled all the stockings with pretzels and beer,
and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.

He rose up the chimney with one great big fart,
that fat mother fucker tore my chimney apart!

He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight,
"Piss on you all and have one hell of a night."

tootie · 12-23-2003, 11:37 PM

Oh, this one was from fourth grade:

Deck the halls with gasoline,
Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la.

Strike a match and watch it gleam.
Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la.

Watch the school burn down to ashes!
Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la.

Aren't you glad you played with matches?
Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la.

CDSmith · 12-23-2003, 11:39 PM

Redneck Christmas....

Fill the house with jubilation!
fa la la la la la la la la
Billy Bob is on probation
Fa la la la la la la la la
Ellie slept with brother Chester!
Fa la la la la la la la la
Now she's in her 3rd trimester
Fa la la la la la la la la
Give a cheer--we're all together
Fa la la la la la la la la
Claire is into whips and leather
Fa la la la la la la la la
Roy has formed his own militia
Fa la la la la la la la la
Clem's a pimp for cousin Tricia
Fa la la la la la la la la
gather round and give a blessing
Fa la la la la la la la la
Uncle Fred is still cross-dressing
Fa la la la la la la la la
Jeff is on the floor with Donna
Fa la la la la la la la la
Stoned on home-grown marijuana
Fa la la la la la la la la
Join our Christmas celebration--
Fa la la la la la la la la
Make our house your destination--
Fa la la la la la la la la
Every year's a real hum-dinger--
Fa la la la la la la la la
Cacth us soon on Jerry Springer
Fa la la la la la la la la

Tala · 12-23-2003, 11:47 PM

Dashing through the snow
In a 4 door chevrolet
o'er the curbs we go
cussin all the way

I can't find the brake
blue lights are in my mirror
I find the clutch and hit fifth gear
as the the cops are coming near!

Fucking pigs, fuckin pigs
They're every fuckin where
hiding on the on ramps
and behind the billboard there

Fuckin pigs, fucking pigs
They're every fucking where
fat old fucks with their doughnuts
and losing all their hair.

Tala · 12-24-2003, 12:02 AM

Fuck, I'm such a thread killer.

CDSmith · 12-24-2003, 12:04 AM

By the stats taken from all of the nearly 2,560,000 posts here, I am the biggest thread killer EVER.

btw, that last one of yours was good. Fucking cops.

Tala · 12-24-2003, 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by CDSmith
By the stats taken from all of the nearly 2,560,000 posts here, I am the biggest thread killer EVER.

btw, that last one of yours was good. Fucking cops.

Thread killers unite!

Glad you liked it.

12-23-2003, 11:00 PM	#1
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	You ever change the words to Christmas carols? I do. "Deck... my balls with boughs of HOL-LY, fa-la-la-la-laa, la-la-la-LAAA Tis... the sea-son to do HOL-LY, fa-la-la-la-laa, la-la-la-LAAA" (I once knew a girl named Holly) "We're walk-in' a-round, stumbling on the ground walkin' in our winter under-WEARRR" "Chil-dren roasting on an open fire..." Got any good ones? __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

12-23-2003, 11:03 PM	#2
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	"Slave bells ring Are you listening? Screams in pain It's masochistic A beautiful sight she's in pain tonight Writhing in a dungeon wonderland." Sorry..... __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

12-23-2003, 11:04 PM	#3
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Yeah, I sometimes have too much time on my hands. So? Dash-ing through the snoww 'tween a one whore's o-pen legs 'oer the bed we gooo bouncing all the WAYYY" Tala.... I lika dat one. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

12-23-2003, 11:08 PM	#4
BruceM Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 4,084	Good one Tala __________________ SellHealth - Sell Herbal Sex Enhancers, HGH Releasers and more! Skype: brucemorrey

12-23-2003, 11:10 PM	#5
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	From one of my "joke guys".... 'Twas the night before Christmas, and Geez it was neat, The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, and the phone was off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I am in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite. And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts. Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree, Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee. They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub, Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub. And then from the roof we heard such a clatter, As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder. I was donning my jacket to cover my ass, When down the chimney Santa came with a crash. His suit was all smelly with perfume galore, He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore. "That was some brothel," he said with a smile, "The reindeer are pooped, and I'll just stay here awhile. He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink, Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink. I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee, The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee. Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack, But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed. The first thing he found was a pair of false tits, The next was a handgun with a penis that spits. A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find, And a six pair of panties, the edible kind. A bra without nipples, a penis extension, And several other things that I shouldn't even mention. A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil, A dildo so long, it lay in a coil. "This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit, So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split." He filled every stocking and then took his leave, With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve. He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead, Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead. In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch, Saying, "Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!" The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout, "The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!" __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

12-23-2003, 11:30 PM	#9
Gruntled Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 358	Good one. How about Jingle bell Jingle bell Jingle bell cock with a cock ring and a toe ring Hoes are all lines up in their scanty clothes now the jingle cok has to throb pfft! __________________

12-23-2003, 11:31 PM	#10
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Some people just don't get the whole "fetish Christmas" thing. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

12-23-2003, 11:32 PM	#11
Babaganoosh ♥♥♥ Likes Hugs ♥♥♥ Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: /home Posts: 15,841	Circa 2nd grade... Jingle bells Batman smells Robin laid an egg Batmobile lost a wheel and Joker got away! __________________ I like pie.

12-23-2003, 11:33 PM	#12
tootie Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Planet Earp Posts: 6,041	'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, everyone felt shitty, even the mouse! Dad at the whore house, Mom smoking grass, and I just settled down for a nice piece of ass. Then out on the lawn there rose such a clatter, I sprang from my piece to see what was the matter. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in an instant that fat fucker fell. He filled all the stockings with pretzels and beer, and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with one great big fart, that fat mother fucker tore my chimney apart! He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "Piss on you all and have one hell of a night." __________________

12-23-2003, 11:34 PM	#13
tootie Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Planet Earp Posts: 6,041	BTW, I didn't write that one, my friend had it on a Christmas card when I was in 8th grade. LOL __________________

12-23-2003, 11:34 PM	#14
KRL Entrepreneur Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: USA Posts: 31,429	Yeh, tonight driving in the car behind so many loser drivers. I got sick of hearing Christmas songs on every station too so I was singing Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas to the words, Go Fuck Yourself, Go Fuckyourself . . . . __________________ If you would like to develop your domains, you can lease inexpensive foreign labor from the leaders in the field at iWebmasters.com TO LOWER YOUR COSTS AND INCREASE YOUR PRODUCTION! * * * * * * * * * * * * Domains Adult News KRL's Newsletter Biz Tips Just Listed Domains

12-23-2003, 11:37 PM	#16
tootie Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Planet Earp Posts: 6,041	Oh, this one was from fourth grade: Deck the halls with gasoline, Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la. Strike a match and watch it gleam. Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la. Watch the school burn down to ashes! Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la. Aren't you glad you played with matches? Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la. __________________ Last edited by tootie; 12-23-2003 at 11:39 PM..

12-23-2003, 11:39 PM	#17
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Redneck Christmas.... Fill the house with jubilation! fa la la la la la la la la Billy Bob is on probation Fa la la la la la la la la Ellie slept with brother Chester! Fa la la la la la la la la Now she's in her 3rd trimester Fa la la la la la la la la Give a cheer--we're all together Fa la la la la la la la la Claire is into whips and leather Fa la la la la la la la la Roy has formed his own militia Fa la la la la la la la la Clem's a pimp for cousin Tricia Fa la la la la la la la la gather round and give a blessing Fa la la la la la la la la Uncle Fred is still cross-dressing Fa la la la la la la la la Jeff is on the floor with Donna Fa la la la la la la la la Stoned on home-grown marijuana Fa la la la la la la la la Join our Christmas celebration-- Fa la la la la la la la la Make our house your destination-- Fa la la la la la la la la Every year's a real hum-dinger-- Fa la la la la la la la la Cacth us soon on Jerry Springer Fa la la la la la la la la __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

12-23-2003, 11:47 PM	#18
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	Dashing through the snow In a 4 door chevrolet o'er the curbs we go cussin all the way I can't find the brake blue lights are in my mirror I find the clutch and hit fifth gear as the the cops are coming near! Fucking pigs, fuckin pigs They're every fuckin where hiding on the on ramps and behind the billboard there Fuckin pigs, fucking pigs They're every fucking where fat old fucks with their doughnuts and losing all their hair. __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

12-24-2003, 12:02 AM	#19
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	Fuck, I'm such a thread killer. __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

12-24-2003, 12:04 AM	#20
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	By the stats taken from all of the nearly 2,560,000 posts here, I am the biggest thread killer EVER. btw, that last one of yours was good. Fucking cops. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634