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'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
everyone felt shitty, even the mouse!
Dad at the whore house, Mom smoking grass,
and I just settled down for a nice piece of ass.
Then out on the lawn there rose such a clatter,
I sprang from my piece to see what was the matter.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,
I knew in an instant that fat fucker fell.
He filled all the stockings with pretzels and beer,
and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
He rose up the chimney with one great big fart,
that fat mother fucker tore my chimney apart!
He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight,
"Piss on you all and have one hell of a night."
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