Anybody know how to cook a turkey? - GoFuckYourself.com

Juicy D. Links · 11-27-2003, 09:43 AM

I just put the fucker in the oven and press on?

TomsPics · 11-27-2003, 09:44 AM

Isn't it like 7 minutes per pound or somthing?

JamesK · 11-27-2003, 09:45 AM

put it in the oven and wait till it's black.

SoundMan · 11-27-2003, 09:47 AM

I have a new way to cook a Turkey for Lazy Asses.

I will follow up on it if it comes out good, if not you wont see me back in this thread..

MattO · 11-27-2003, 09:47 AM

make sure you pull the gizzards and the neck out of the insides before you cook it.

first time I cooked a turkey, I just threw it into the oven, and what a suprise it was to pull out all that shit when we were carving it.

shit like that mom never taught me.

LadyMischief · 11-27-2003, 09:48 AM

Juicy.. the only cooking like you will EVER need.

www.foodtv.com

loverboy · 11-27-2003, 09:51 AM

how to cook the Turkey Farm way

http://www.theturkeyfarm.com/faqs.htm

peewee · 11-27-2003, 09:54 AM

Recommended Roasting Times for
Fresh or Thawed Whole Turkey

Weight
(pounds) Unstuffed
(hours) Stuffed
(hours)
6 - 8 2 1/4 - 2 3/4 2 3/4 - 3
8 - 12 2 3/4 - 3 3 - 3 1/2
12 - 14 3 - 3 3/4 3 1/2 - 4
14 - 18 3 3/4 - 4 1/4 4 - 4 1/4
18 - 20 4 1/4 - 4 1/2 4 1/4 - 4 3/4
20 - 24 4 1/2 - 5 4 3/4 - 5 1/4
24 - 28 5 - 5 1/2 5 1/4 - 5 3/4
Cook stuffing to an internal (center of stuffing) temperature of 165 degrees

steffie · 11-27-2003, 09:58 AM

One more small advice (20 years of turkey cooking expert here, yup mine is in the oven too now)

When you mix the stuffing (buy premade its faster) ad some raisins and apples, also use virgin oil to baste down the turkey. Wrap the Turkey wings in foil until 1 hour before, lay a piece of foil on top of the breast also.

Yup, don't forget to remove the gibblets.

At the end about half an hour before, put honey on top of the turkey.

Have fun on Turkey Day

B_Maverick · 11-27-2003, 09:59 AM

Here is a technique that my family has used the last couple years that works awesome...

#1 Do not stuff the turkey with dressing....stuff it with vegetables like celery and carrots and onions. Dressing draws the juice out of the turkey meat, while the veggies actually add juice. (Water goes from where it is...to where it is not)

#2 Cook the turkey upside down. The biggest problem with dryness is that the breasts cook faster than the dark meat...so to get the dark meat done, the breasts get dry. To alleviate this, cook the bird with the breasts down...the dark meat gets done along with the breasts and it is all very juicy.

These two methods will dramatically increase your odds of a great turkey.

CDSmith · 11-27-2003, 10:07 AM

For oven time, I always fire up the temp. to just over 350 F, put the turkey in the pre-heated oven, leave it for about 30-40 minutes, then reduce the heat to about 300 and let it slow-cook for about 3 or 4 hours depending on how big it is.

Don't forget to put some water in there, enough to cover the bottom of the roast pan for sure.

What's this about taking out the heart, kidney, gizzard, liver, neck etc???? You people are nuts, those are some of the most sought-after parts!

Ever try stuffing the turkey with fresh cranberries?

SoundMan · 11-27-2003, 12:26 PM

I cook mine at 250 for many hrs, normally it is like 9 hours for a 21 pounder..

this year i got a small sucker 11 lbs as I hate waiting all day.

Sifu · 11-27-2003, 12:31 PM

i would tell you but your a cocklover. so FUCK YOU

Juicy D. Links · 11-27-2003, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sifu
i would tell you but your a cocklover. so FUCK YOU

Dumbass be sure to look for me in Vegas I look forward to seeing you

BTW you sale content? lol

Jon · 11-27-2003, 12:33 PM

something to do with an open roaring fire maybe?

C_U_Next_Tuesday · 11-27-2003, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by B_Maverick
Here is a technique that my family has used the last couple years that works awesome...

#1 Do not stuff the turkey with dressing....stuff it with vegetables like celery and carrots and onions. Dressing draws the juice out of the turkey meat, while the veggies actually add juice. (Water goes from where it is...to where it is not)

#2 Cook the turkey upside down. The biggest problem with dryness is that the breasts cook faster than the dark meat...so to get the dark meat done, the breasts get dry. To alleviate this, cook the bird with the breasts down...the dark meat gets done along with the breasts and it is all very juicy.

These two methods will dramatically increase your odds of a great turkey.

thanks..that is great advice

tootie · 11-27-2003, 12:41 PM

http://www.butterball.com

Gemini · 11-27-2003, 12:47 PM

Maverick has it right... breast DOWN! ;-)

Something no one has mentioned... wash that thing REAL GOOD!!

And whether you want the guts cooked or not... take them out at least to check them. I've found them wrapped in paper a couple of times. Like butchers wrap stuff.

First timers shouldn't try to cook it stuffed either... you could end up with food poisoning pretty easy they say.

Raven · 11-27-2003, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by B_Maverick
Here is a technique that my family has used the last couple years that works awesome...

#1 Do not stuff the turkey with dressing....stuff it with vegetables like celery and carrots and onions. Dressing draws the juice out of the turkey meat, while the veggies actually add juice. (Water goes from where it is...to where it is not)

#2 Cook the turkey upside down. The biggest problem with dryness is that the breasts cook faster than the dark meat...so to get the dark meat done, the breasts get dry. To alleviate this, cook the bird with the breasts down...the dark meat gets done along with the breasts and it is all very juicy.

These two methods will dramatically increase your odds of a great turkey.

Most definitely cook the bird breast side down.

But, we've stuffed the turkey and the breast meat is tender....one of these days, I am going to try putting the veggies in, instead of stuffing. I hear it's awesome.

Also, use a paper bag over the turkey, rather than foil. Foil steams and paper breathes, so the turkey browns, instead of burns...it also helps keep the moisture in.

Basting is the key to a moist turkey. Baste every twenty minutes and keep the oven temp at 325 degrees.

If it fails, KFC is open today.

Happy Thanksgiving.

MetaformX · 11-27-2003, 01:31 PM

haha, single men

AmeliaG · 11-27-2003, 03:07 PM

I know how to make reservations at fine restaurants which do Thanksgiving feasts.

Sifu · 11-27-2003, 03:13 PM

ahh did I hurt your feeling Juicy.. waaaaa waaaaa. Fuck you Homo

freeadultcontent · 11-27-2003, 03:17 PM

Hmm and people wonder why turkey tastes dry.

Couple simple rules however late they are.

1. marinate or brine the turkey in advance.
2. only stuff it with aromatics.
3. basting is evil and only makes cooking time longer.
4. shallow roasting pan is key, high sides mean uneven browing.
5. cooking times per pound are a myth.
6. ignore pop up thermometers.
7. cook to an internal temp with a room for carry over cooking.
8. start in high temp 450-500 then drop to 325 for remainder.
9. foil tent breast with temp drop, prevents breast from drying out.
10. do not open the oven door except to tent it, and to remove it.
11. let it rest when done.

11-27-2003, 09:45 AM	#3
JamesK hi Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 16,731	put it in the oven and wait till it's black. __________________ M3Server - NATS Hosting

11-27-2003, 09:48 AM	#6
LadyMischief Orgasms N Such! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Oakville, Ontario Posts: 18,135	Juicy.. the only cooking like you will EVER need. www.foodtv.com __________________ ICQ 3522039 Content Manager - orgasm.com [email protected]

11-27-2003, 09:54 AM	#8
peewee Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Horny Holland Posts: 451	Recommended Roasting Times for Fresh or Thawed Whole Turkey Weight (pounds) Unstuffed (hours) Stuffed (hours) 6 - 8 2 1/4 - 2 3/4 2 3/4 - 3 8 - 12 2 3/4 - 3 3 - 3 1/2 12 - 14 3 - 3 3/4 3 1/2 - 4 14 - 18 3 3/4 - 4 1/4 4 - 4 1/4 18 - 20 4 1/4 - 4 1/2 4 1/4 - 4 3/4 20 - 24 4 1/2 - 5 4 3/4 - 5 1/4 24 - 28 5 - 5 1/2 5 1/4 - 5 3/4 Cook stuffing to an internal (center of stuffing) temperature of 165 degrees __________________ <a href="http://www.sexmoney.com/?adsid=59343" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.sexpiraat.nl/sexmo.gif"></a>

11-27-2003, 09:58 AM	#9
steffie Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Somewhere in the Mountains, far far away Posts: 2,422	One more small advice (20 years of turkey cooking expert here, yup mine is in the oven too now) When you mix the stuffing (buy premade its faster) ad some raisins and apples, also use virgin oil to baste down the turkey. Wrap the Turkey wings in foil until 1 hour before, lay a piece of foil on top of the breast also. Yup, don't forget to remove the gibblets. At the end about half an hour before, put honey on top of the turkey. Have fun on Turkey Day __________________ Partying since '96 and not going anywhere Anna's Dorm

11-27-2003, 09:59 AM	#10
B_Maverick Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 447	Here is a technique that my family has used the last couple years that works awesome... #1 Do not stuff the turkey with dressing....stuff it with vegetables like celery and carrots and onions. Dressing draws the juice out of the turkey meat, while the veggies actually add juice. (Water goes from where it is...to where it is not) #2 Cook the turkey upside down. The biggest problem with dryness is that the breasts cook faster than the dark meat...so to get the dark meat done, the breasts get dry. To alleviate this, cook the bird with the breasts down...the dark meat gets done along with the breasts and it is all very juicy. These two methods will dramatically increase your odds of a great turkey. __________________ Sig too big http://www.gofuckyourself.com/gfy_faqs.html Want to use a large banner in your sig??? Contact Eric about getting on as an advertiser - eric AT adult.com

11-27-2003, 09:43 AM	#1
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	Anybody know how to cook a turkey? I just put the fucker in the oven and press on?

11-27-2003, 09:44 AM	#2
TomsPics Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Detroit, MI Posts: 498	Isn't it like 7 minutes per pound or somthing? __________________ ICQ: 8218548

11-27-2003, 09:47 AM	#4
SoundMan So Fucking Banned Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: MidWest Posts: 3,471	I have a new way to cook a Turkey for Lazy Asses. I will follow up on it if it comes out good, if not you wont see me back in this thread..

11-27-2003, 09:47 AM	#5
MattO The O is for Oohhh Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: AUSTIN TEJAS Posts: 10,861	make sure you pull the gizzards and the neck out of the insides before you cook it. first time I cooked a turkey, I just threw it into the oven, and what a suprise it was to pull out all that shit when we were carving it. shit like that mom never taught me.

11-27-2003, 09:51 AM	#7
loverboy When it rains, it pours Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 20,609	how to cook the Turkey Farm way http://www.theturkeyfarm.com/faqs.htm

11-27-2003, 10:07 AM	#11
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	For oven time, I always fire up the temp. to just over 350 F, put the turkey in the pre-heated oven, leave it for about 30-40 minutes, then reduce the heat to about 300 and let it slow-cook for about 3 or 4 hours depending on how big it is. Don't forget to put some water in there, enough to cover the bottom of the roast pan for sure. What's this about taking out the heart, kidney, gizzard, liver, neck etc???? You people are nuts, those are some of the most sought-after parts! Ever try stuffing the turkey with fresh cranberries? __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

11-27-2003, 12:26 PM	#12
SoundMan So Fucking Banned Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: MidWest Posts: 3,471	I cook mine at 250 for many hrs, normally it is like 9 hours for a 21 pounder.. this year i got a small sucker 11 lbs as I hate waiting all day.

11-27-2003, 12:31 PM	#13
Sifu Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: So Cal Posts: 1,791	i would tell you but your a cocklover. so FUCK YOU __________________ ICQ: 317-769-855

11-27-2003, 12:33 PM	#15
Jon Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: New York City Posts: 2,578	something to do with an open roaring fire maybe? __________________ WickedFire.com - Stay here. We don't need more of you. Not unless you have money, then, fine...

11-27-2003, 12:41 PM	#17
tootie Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Planet Earp Posts: 6,041	http://www.butterball.com __________________

11-27-2003, 12:47 PM	#18
Gemini Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: o-HI-o Posts: 7,183	Maverick has it right... breast DOWN! ;-) Something no one has mentioned... wash that thing REAL GOOD!! And whether you want the guts cooked or not... take them out at least to check them. I've found them wrapped in paper a couple of times. Like butchers wrap stuff. First timers shouldn't try to cook it stuffed either... you could end up with food poisoning pretty easy they say. __________________ <center><a target="_blank" href="http://dev.datedollars.com/index.php?s=signup&aid=535&cfg=aac"><img border="0" src="http://216.130.172.224/gfy/gsig.gif" width="490" height="100"></a><br><a href="http://dev.datedollars.com/index.php?s=signup&aid=535&cfg=aac" target="_blank"><b><font face="Arial"><font color="#FF99FF"> Buy me away from Slavedriver Smokey!<br>It's May Sig Sweeps!<font></b></center>

11-27-2003, 01:31 PM	#20
MetaformX Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 6,704	haha, single men __________________

11-27-2003, 03:07 PM	#21
AmeliaG Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 10,567	I know how to make reservations at fine restaurants which do Thanksgiving feasts. __________________ GFY Hall of Famer AltStar Hall of Famer Blue Blood's SpookyCash.com Babe photography portfolio

11-27-2003, 03:13 PM	#22
Sifu Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: So Cal Posts: 1,791	ahh did I hurt your feeling Juicy.. waaaaa waaaaa. Fuck you Homo __________________ ICQ: 317-769-855

11-27-2003, 03:17 PM	#23
freeadultcontent Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: "evitcepsrep ruoy egnahc" Posts: 9,976	Hmm and people wonder why turkey tastes dry. Couple simple rules however late they are. 1. marinate or brine the turkey in advance. 2. only stuff it with aromatics. 3. basting is evil and only makes cooking time longer. 4. shallow roasting pan is key, high sides mean uneven browing. 5. cooking times per pound are a myth. 6. ignore pop up thermometers. 7. cook to an internal temp with a room for carry over cooking. 8. start in high temp 450-500 then drop to 325 for remainder. 9. foil tent breast with temp drop, prevents breast from drying out. 10. do not open the oven door except to tent it, and to remove it. 11. let it rest when done. __________________ Exclusive Ethnic & Microniche Sites