Never tell a cop....... - GoFuckYourself.com

Ice · 10-01-2003, 09:54 AM

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged
in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good
job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to
be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a
warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no
other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

brizzad · 10-01-2003, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged

Tofu · 10-01-2003, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by iceicebaby
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

this one killed me!

Basher · 10-01-2003, 09:59 AM

things not to say in a gay bar

1. Fuck me, it's hot in here
2. Mine's a large one
3. Can I push your stool in a bit

Mackone · 10-01-2003, 10:45 AM

chemicaleyes · 10-01-2003, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Basher
things not to say in a gay bar

1. Fuck me, it's hot in here
2. Mine's a large one
3. Can I push your stool in a bit

theharvman · 10-01-2003, 10:56 AM

My pic is 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

crockett · 10-01-2003, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by iceicebaby
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no
other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.

arial · 10-01-2003, 11:03 AM

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no
other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.

^^^ That one is great!

WiredGuy · 10-01-2003, 11:08 AM

Trent Edison · 10-01-2003, 11:18 AM

Fun thread!

bushwacker · 10-01-2003, 12:42 PM

Chris · 10-01-2003, 12:46 PM

old stuff today but still funny

Phoenix · 10-01-2003, 12:48 PM

whatever you do..dont slam their doors while getting out of a crusier

loverboy · 10-01-2003, 12:51 PM

13. Tell that her wife is Fucking great in bed!

pauliewalnutz · 10-01-2003, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by iceicebaby
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to
be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

JDog · 10-01-2003, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by iceicebaby
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to
be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no
other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.

Those are fucking hillarious!

jDoG

nosey · 10-01-2003, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Basher
things not to say in a gay bar

1. Fuck me, it's hot in here
2. Mine's a large one
3. Can I push your stool in a bit

gornyhuy · 10-01-2003, 01:05 PM

14. I'm sure we can work out some mutually beneficial arrangment (stare at his package and lick your lips)

JDog · 10-01-2003, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by iceicebaby
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good
job!

I was in this car with this chick she got pulled over off the freeway and the cop comes up and says "Do you know how fast you were going." And totally serious, she's like, "Well, I can't really tell after 85 because my speedometer only goes to 85!" Ofcourse she got a ticket!

And another time there was this stop sign right down the street from her work that she always ran because no one was ever there. One morning there was a cop at the stop sign, she got pulled over and the cop says, "Did you know there was a stop sign there?" She replied, "Yes, I run it everyday though because there is never anybody there!"

Now I'm just great at talkin my way out of tickets, I got away with driving 90 down Beach Blvd, where the speed limit is 45. The cop asked how fast I was going and I was totally honest, and he thought I was evading him, so he called for backup. So two cop cars, and their talking about the car I was in. Then he came back, alright I'm gonna let you go, just slow down a little bit, and your brother-in-law (whos car I was driving) is gonna get a ticket in the mail for his registration. It was like 12:30 in the morning and he thought I was driving in to my complex to try and hide to get away from him...LOL, and then he asked what I was doing. I was actualy on my way back from Sav-On's getting juices for the chicks for their drinks. But I'm like, "My roommates kid is sick and he asked me to go get the medication and juice for her." And he let me go, after an hour...LOL

jDoG

10-01-2003, 09:54 AM	#1
Ice Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Sunny California Posts: 26,053	Never tell a cop....... 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. Are You Andy or Barney? 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 8. I pay your salary! 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are. 12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?" __________________ icq 1904905

10-01-2003, 09:59 AM	#4
Basher Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Uk_dude Posts: 1,168	things not to say in a gay bar 1. Fuck me, it's hot in here 2. Mine's a large one 3. Can I push your stool in a bit __________________ my bum itches

10-01-2003, 10:56 AM	#7
theharvman Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 1,366	My pic is 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. __________________ Email:[email protected] Site: http://TheScreamingO.com Program: http://http://www.idevaffiliate.com Skype: theharvman ICQ: 150092593

10-01-2003, 11:08 AM	#10
WiredGuy Pounding Googlebot Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 34,484	__________________ I play with Google.

10-01-2003, 11:18 AM	#11
Trent Edison Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Freeport 7 Posts: 6,132	Fun thread! __________________

10-01-2003, 10:45 AM	#5
Mackone Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 327

10-01-2003, 11:03 AM	#9
arial Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Bay Area Posts: 4,012	11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are. ^^^ That one is great!

10-01-2003, 12:42 PM	#12
bushwacker Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: so. fla. Posts: 2,817

10-01-2003, 12:46 PM	#13
Chris Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: icq: 71462500 Skype: Jupzchris Posts: 27,880	old stuff today but still funny __________________ [email protected]

10-01-2003, 12:48 PM	#14
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,462	whatever you do..dont slam their doors while getting out of a crusier __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io

10-01-2003, 12:51 PM	#15
loverboy When it rains, it pours Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 20,609	13. Tell that her wife is Fucking great in bed!

10-01-2003, 01:05 PM	#19
gornyhuy Chafed. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Face Down in Pussy Posts: 18,041	14. I'm sure we can work out some mutually beneficial arrangment (stare at his package and lick your lips) __________________ icq:159548293