Never tell a cop.......
 

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged
in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good
job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to
be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a
warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no
other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh this one killed me!

things not to say in a gay bar

1. Fuck me, it's hot in here
2. Mine's a large one
3. Can I push your stool in a bit

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :thumbsup

:1orglaugh

My pic is 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no
other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.

^^^ That one is great! :1orglaugh

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:1orglaugh
Fun thread!

:1orglaugh

old stuff today but still funny

whatever you do..dont slam their doors while getting out of a crusier:winkwink:

13. Tell that her wife is Fucking great in bed! :1orglaugh

:BangBang: :BangBang:

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Those are fucking hillarious! :) :1orglaugh

jDoG

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

14. I'm sure we can work out some mutually beneficial arrangment (stare at his package and lick your lips)

I was in this car with this chick she got pulled over off the freeway and the cop comes up and says "Do you know how fast you were going." And totally serious, she's like, "Well, I can't really tell after 85 because my speedometer only goes to 85!" Ofcourse she got a ticket!

And another time there was this stop sign right down the street from her work that she always ran because no one was ever there. One morning there was a cop at the stop sign, she got pulled over and the cop says, "Did you know there was a stop sign there?" She replied, "Yes, I run it everyday though because there is never anybody there!"

Now I'm just great at talkin my way out of tickets, I got away with driving 90 down Beach Blvd, where the speed limit is 45. The cop asked how fast I was going and I was totally honest, and he thought I was evading him, so he called for backup. So two cop cars, and their talking about the car I was in. Then he came back, alright I'm gonna let you go, just slow down a little bit, and your brother-in-law (whos car I was driving) is gonna get a ticket in the mail for his registration. It was like 12:30 in the morning and he thought I was driving in to my complex to try and hide to get away from him...LOL, and then he asked what I was doing. I was actualy on my way back from Sav-On's getting juices for the chicks for their drinks. But I'm like, "My roommates kid is sick and he asked me to go get the medication and juice for her." And he let me go, after an hour...LOL

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

jDoG