where are the fucking programmers? - GoFuckYourself.com

dig420 · 09-26-2003, 11:52 AM

primadonna motherfuckers...

I can't even get them to show up for an interview about half the time, let alone put them to work. When did programmers become so damn hard to find??

we're hiring in San Pedro, Ca. Great starting pay and working conditions, full medical and dental.

Technical Prerequisites:

- FreeBSD (remote server maintenance)
- Windows (in-house LAN administration)
- PHP4
- Perl
- HTML / CSS
- J a v a s c r i p t
- MySQL

Technical non-Prerequisites, but definite assets:

- 3rd-party billing processor integration (such as Epoch, Verotel...)
- Smarty (PHP-based templating engine)
- XML
- QMail

send a resume to webmasterATcoldcoffee.com

and don't even THINK about scheduling an interview and then cancelling. I will send someone to your house and drag your geek ass here grrrr...

reynold · 09-26-2003, 11:54 AM

"Welcome To
ColdCoffee Productions Inc.

We're not currently accepting applications for employment. However, if you have questions or would like to give us some money for a ridiculously easy task contact us at: "

JFPdude · 09-26-2003, 11:55 AM

You want me to get dressed, go all the way to california, and work in an office ?

Hope you pay more than I make at home in my shorts!

dig420 · 09-26-2003, 11:56 AM

you're looking in the wrong place. Check out Fetishbucks.com, that's what you'll be working on.

teenjump · 09-26-2003, 11:59 AM

dig: I'll do some remote contract work for you.
ICQ me: 21096906 and I can throw a sample together for you.

NBDesign · 09-26-2003, 12:01 PM

sounds great... wish it was ASP... I'd be there in a flash

dig420 · 09-26-2003, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by teenjump
dig: I'll do some remote contract work for you.
ICQ me: 21096906 and I can throw a sample together for you.

I don't like using remote workers, especially when they're already in the industry. 7 years worth of developed scripts and shit on the servers, a programmer could gank everything I have and I probably wouldn't even know it for a couple years after the fact, if ever.

I want an ass in the chair every day so I can stay up close and personal with them

bigdog · 09-26-2003, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dig420

I don't like using remote workers, especially when they're already in the industry. 7 years worth of developed scripts and shit on the servers, a programmer could gank everything I have and I probably wouldn't even know it for a couple years after the fact, if ever.

I want an ass in the chair every day so I can stay up close and personal with them

they could also steal you shit when they work in the office also

GrimShawn · 09-26-2003, 12:30 PM

Do you need HTML lol

teenjump · 09-26-2003, 12:31 PM

yeah dig, that's cool. I know what you mean - no worries.

4Pics · 09-26-2003, 12:32 PM

Now maybe if you had an office in Newport Beach or Santa Monica ...

You should mention the Salary range.

dig420 · 09-26-2003, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 4Pics
Now maybe if you had an office in Newport Beach or Santa Monica ...

You should mention the Salary range.

starts at 1500/wk, but someone who can add to the company bottom line can find themselves making ridiculous money pretty quickly.

San Pedro is right next door to Manhattan Beach, Redondo, etc; This is the REAL Cali, lots of sun, beaches and blondes. The office is 420 friendly with a hot tub and pool, what more could a programmer ask?

teenjump · 09-26-2003, 12:46 PM

Holy fuck. That's pretty insane. That offer is so juicy I want to go jerk off.

Best of luck... you'll find someone man.

dig420 · 09-26-2003, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bigdog

they could also steal you shit when they work in the office also

yes, but I can beat them more easily if they're caught when they're geographically close

fnet · 09-26-2003, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dig420

starts at 1500/wk, but someone who can add to the company bottom line can find themselves making ridiculous money pretty quickly.

San Pedro is right next door to Manhattan Beach, Redondo, etc; This is the REAL Cali, lots of sun, beaches and blondes. The office is 420 friendly with a hot tub and pool, what more could a programmer ask?

Sounds nice.

PV chicks are pretty hot, if a bit stuck on themselves. Pedro is a cool little town in some parts.

How heavy is the server maintenance? How many servers?

com · 09-26-2003, 12:52 PM

programmers are gay

NBDesign · 09-26-2003, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dig420

starts at 1500/wk, but someone who can add to the company bottom line can find themselves making ridiculous money pretty quickly.

San Pedro is right next door to Manhattan Beach, Redondo, etc; This is the REAL Cali, lots of sun, beaches and blondes. The office is 420 friendly with a hot tub and pool, what more could a programmer ask?

DAMN!!!! nice package... relocation expenses included too? I started with PERL... still know it pretty well...

Peaches · 09-26-2003, 12:59 PM

I programmed my TiVo, but since that's the extent of my programming skills, I probably don't qualify.

Getting programmers to anything in Atlanta is just as bad. If you get a good programmer, feed him LOTS of $$$ - it's worth it to keep one around!

dig420 · 09-26-2003, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fnet

Sounds nice.

PV chicks are pretty hot, if a bit stuck on themselves. Pedro is a cool little town in some parts.

How heavy is the server maintenance? How many servers?

5 freeBSD servers, we have our own cabinet at the Level3 NOC in LA

GoGoBar · 09-26-2003, 01:11 PM

I'm waiting for dig to just break down and learn the technical side already

Anyway, if you're thinking about talking to him... He's a great guy to work with and work for. Never too bossy and he'll never fuck around with money or anything. He's top notch in my book. So go for it, you'll be happy you did. And I know he's willing to pay very well for this position.

Theo · 09-26-2003, 01:13 PM

$6k month is pretty good

great opportunity for the programmers.

Evil1 · 09-26-2003, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dig420

I don't like using remote workers, especially when they're already in the industry. 7 years worth of developed scripts and shit on the servers, a programmer could gank everything I have and I probably wouldn't even know it for a couple years after the fact, if ever.

I want an ass in the chair every day so I can stay up close and personal with them

Someone right up your ass all day at work.. you should put that in any ad's, people are dying for jobs like that.

dig420 · 09-26-2003, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Evil1

Someone right up your ass all day at work.. you should put that in any ad's, people are dying for jobs like that.

speak to me when you have your own program to advertise in your sig, and not before.

unless you're a programmer.

GoGoBar · 09-26-2003, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dig420

speak to me when you have your own program to advertise in your sig, and not before.

unless you're a programmer.

I don't have a program in my sig, can I talk to you?

dig420 · 09-26-2003, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GoGoBar

I don't have a program in my sig, can I talk to you?

I know what you own, you don't need it in your sig ;)

besides, we have a history

Honeyslut · 09-26-2003, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dig420

speak to me when you have your own program to advertise in your sig, and not before.

unless you're a programmer.

hehehe

You tell em .

myneid · 09-26-2003, 02:01 PM

You should really consider an outsource programming company. Not everybody in this business is some guy sitting at home that you might or might not trust. A lot of us have trusted names in this industry. and that programmer you plan on paying $6k per month you could get better quality work for hireing a contract company to do your programming for you at about $2k per month. The negative is that the programmer is not there in you office (which its a good idea to not have your programmer in the office but we dont need to go into that), but the positive is that you get quality work from programmers who program for a lot of different companies in the industry and know what is going on with other companies in order to have you benifit from their experience.

Just food for thought.

Chaldoray · 09-26-2003, 02:39 PM

Hey, add me on icq at 237842929 or aim at nickopray... I do PHP/MYSQL, hahahahahahahahahaha, Dynamic HTML, CSS, Some C++.. later.

Broda · 09-26-2003, 02:42 PM

Programmers work best alone - an office 9-5 with a boss looking over the shoulder every few hours is not the optimal workplace for a programmer; hottub or not

calm · 09-26-2003, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Broda
Programmers work best alone - an office 9-5 with a boss looking over the shoulder every few hours is not the optimal workplace for a programmer; hottub or not

a fucking men

bigdog · 09-27-2003, 05:39 AM

just steal a programmer from a rival sponsor

mijoon · 09-27-2003, 05:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dig420

I don't like using remote workers, especially when they're already in the industry. 7 years worth of developed scripts and shit on the servers, a programmer could gank everything I have and I probably wouldn't even know it for a couple years after the fact, if ever.

I want an ass in the chair every day so I can stay up close and personal with them

A good programmer need not tolerate you being "up close and personal" with their ass.
BTW , most of my "jobs" involve cleaning up the sh@t left behind by in-house workers.

09-26-2003, 11:52 AM	#1
dig420 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 9,240	where are the fucking programmers? primadonna motherfuckers... I can't even get them to show up for an interview about half the time, let alone put them to work. When did programmers become so damn hard to find?? we're hiring in San Pedro, Ca. Great starting pay and working conditions, full medical and dental. Technical Prerequisites: - FreeBSD (remote server maintenance) - Windows (in-house LAN administration) - PHP4 - Perl - HTML / CSS - J a v a s c r i p t - MySQL Technical non-Prerequisites, but definite assets: - 3rd-party billing processor integration (such as Epoch, Verotel...) - Smarty (PHP-based templating engine) - XML - QMail send a resume to webmasterATcoldcoffee.com and don't even THINK about scheduling an interview and then cancelling. I will send someone to your house and drag your geek ass here grrrr... Last edited by dig420; 09-26-2003 at 11:55 AM..

09-26-2003, 12:01 PM	#6
NBDesign Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: The other side of Hell Posts: 5,814	sounds great... wish it was ASP... I'd be there in a flash __________________ Use Lensman's program and get the most for your hard earned traffic. Get Heidi for your site Here. Lots of sets to choose from. She makes a great Addition to any site. Grab one Grab All.

09-26-2003, 12:52 PM	#16
com Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Portland, Oregon Posts: 4,541	programmers are gay __________________ Real. Professional. Hosting. .:Expect Nothing Less:. 320-078-843 :: www.realprohosting.com :: [email protected]

09-26-2003, 02:01 PM	#27
myneid Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 736	You should really consider an outsource programming company. Not everybody in this business is some guy sitting at home that you might or might not trust. A lot of us have trusted names in this industry. and that programmer you plan on paying $6k per month you could get better quality work for hireing a contract company to do your programming for you at about $2k per month. The negative is that the programmer is not there in you office (which its a good idea to not have your programmer in the office but we dont need to go into that), but the positive is that you get quality work from programmers who program for a lot of different companies in the industry and know what is going on with other companies in order to have you benifit from their experience. Just food for thought. __________________ Tanguy 0x7a69 inc. Programmer/President/CEO http://www.0x7a69.com A Leader in Programming since 1996 PHP, Ruby on Rails, MySQL, PCI DSS, and any Technical Consulting

09-26-2003, 02:42 PM	#29
Broda Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: CheapAssDesigns.com Posts: 1,874	Programmers work best alone - an office 9-5 with a boss looking over the shoulder every few hours is not the optimal workplace for a programmer; hottub or not __________________ CheapAssDesigns.com - when you need quality designs at affordable prices. icq: 230-729-205 info \|at\| cheap ass designs dot com

09-26-2003, 11:54 AM	#2
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	"Welcome To ColdCoffee Productions Inc. We're not currently accepting applications for employment. However, if you have questions or would like to give us some money for a ridiculously easy task contact us at: "

09-26-2003, 11:55 AM	#3
JFPdude Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Mountains of Western North Carolina. Posts: 4,027	You want me to get dressed, go all the way to california, and work in an office ? Hope you pay more than I make at home in my shorts!

09-26-2003, 11:56 AM	#4
dig420 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 9,240	you're looking in the wrong place. Check out Fetishbucks.com, that's what you'll be working on.

09-26-2003, 11:59 AM	#5
teenjump So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,595	dig: I'll do some remote contract work for you. ICQ me: 21096906 and I can throw a sample together for you.

09-26-2003, 12:30 PM	#9
GrimShawn Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: BONEPRONE MANSION serving drinks! Posts: 8,120	Do you need HTML lol

09-26-2003, 12:31 PM	#10
teenjump So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,595	yeah dig, that's cool. I know what you mean - no worries.

09-26-2003, 12:32 PM	#11
4Pics Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 7,952	Now maybe if you had an office in Newport Beach or Santa Monica ... You should mention the Salary range.

09-26-2003, 12:46 PM	#13
teenjump So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,595	Holy fuck. That's pretty insane. That offer is so juicy I want to go jerk off. Best of luck... you'll find someone man.

09-26-2003, 12:59 PM	#18
Peaches Old broad Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Away Posts: 13,933	I programmed my TiVo, but since that's the extent of my programming skills, I probably don't qualify. Getting programmers to anything in Atlanta is just as bad. If you get a good programmer, feed him LOTS of $$$ - it's worth it to keep one around!

09-26-2003, 01:11 PM	#20
GoGoBar Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: NJ Posts: 1,439	I'm waiting for dig to just break down and learn the technical side already Anyway, if you're thinking about talking to him... He's a great guy to work with and work for. Never too bossy and he'll never fuck around with money or anything. He's top notch in my book. So go for it, you'll be happy you did. And I know he's willing to pay very well for this position.

09-26-2003, 01:13 PM	#21
Theo HAL 9000 Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 34,515	$6k month is pretty good great opportunity for the programmers.

09-26-2003, 02:39 PM	#28
Chaldoray Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 2,868	Hey, add me on icq at 237842929 or aim at nickopray... I do PHP/MYSQL, hahahahahahahahahaha, Dynamic HTML, CSS, Some C++.. later.

09-27-2003, 05:39 AM	#31
bigdog Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 6,964	just steal a programmer from a rival sponsor