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Old 07-21-2003, 02:00 PM   #1
nxixnxo
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must haves for a bachelor pad

so i just got my own place... tell me things that i must have to make its a swinging (lol) bachelor bad... what are the essentials....
what will get the girls wet as soon as they enter my place!

what will make my place the place to be

thanks homies

nxixnxo
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:02 PM   #2
detoxed
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piles of cash on the floor. Use a $10k stack of 100's as a coaster.
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:04 PM   #3
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A Dido CD and a swivel bed, oh yea don't forget the Kraft Dinner
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:05 PM   #4
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Kiddie pool in the living room, filled with Ice and 2 kegs

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Old 07-21-2003, 02:05 PM   #5
HighRoller
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60" plasma
3 person jacuzzi :-)
$5000+ stereo system
tons of alcohol
Fireplace
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:06 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by HighRoller
60" plasma
3 person jacuzzi :-)
$5000+ stereo system
tons of alcohol
Fireplace
Word!!!

DH
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:07 PM   #7
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Some Kenny G on the stereo...
be sensitive... cry alot...
and some really fabulous drapes.
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:09 PM   #8
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A Juicylinks Real Doll.
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:10 PM   #9
natas
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hahaha love your shoit banner steve
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:12 PM   #10
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blacklight and candles for the bitches
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:13 PM   #11
stevecore
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Originally posted by toodamnfli
blacklight and candles for the bitches
dont forget the velvet elvis painting...
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:14 PM   #12
loverboy
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flatscreen TV
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:17 PM   #13
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CONDOMS!!!!
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:20 PM   #14
Bulldog-Johnnie
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At least 1/2 oz of good Colombian marching powder, if you plan on getting strippers or models back with you...
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:29 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bulldog-Johnnie
At least 1/2 oz of good Colombian marching powder, if you plan on getting strippers or models back with you...
Thats funny.............Like most they are funny because they are true.
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:33 PM   #16
bryany
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THE PARTY GOAT!!!
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ya ya, I'll fill this in later...
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:35 PM   #17
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Ron Jeremy Blow up Doll.

Seriously though. Decorate your pad in dark red and cobalt blue.
Brushed aluminum/Stainless steel anything is really hot right now.

Keep it simple and uncluttered. Anything you do have in there should be bold and the best.

Get yourself some trick contemporary lamps. Lighting is very important.

Good Luck.

-Kel
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:39 PM   #18
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Various sex toys laying on the floor. Everything from a realdoll to butt-plugs. That'll impress the ladies.
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:43 PM   #19
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I've also noticed that a pet sheep wearing stockings also impresses the women.
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:50 PM   #20
nike
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Quote:
Originally posted by TeenGodFather
I've also noticed that a pet sheep wearing stockings also impresses the women.
In Europe maybe, but in America they only respect class - try a gopher wrapped in cling film covered in KY, never fails.
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:53 PM   #21
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I am available for consulting
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Old 07-21-2003, 02:56 PM   #22
nike
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fuck this d-p
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Old 07-21-2003, 03:05 PM   #23
CrazyNakedChick
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maid service, hit up a local company. they will come in once a week and straighten everything out for you inexpensively.

i've yet to see a bachelor pad bathroom safe enough to actually use.
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Old 07-21-2003, 03:10 PM   #24
dirtyone
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a bar is a must
silk sheets on the bed
a fire place is good

loose the milk crate furniture make sure you lean up after yourself
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Old 07-21-2003, 03:10 PM   #25
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You need a maid, a king size bed, 120" tv, pool/hot tub, and couple plasma screen. My old bachelor pad looks more girlie every day!
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Old 07-21-2003, 03:15 PM   #26
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HUGE TV, DVD player some sort of games console. Nice comfortable sofa, fridge full of beer, lots of junk food, nice collection of movies. Comfortable bed!!! Nicely decorated place, some fine bitches in each room incase you get bored with the games console PC for working to make rent each month, a nice car parked outside, a security guard in your building to watch over your awesome car while you do your stuff, a GREAT sound system with GOOD cd's to play on it, candles.... bitches love candles!! Hot tub, fully stocked bar, balcony to make sweet lovin when its hot, air conditioning so it never gets too hot that you need to use your balcony coz its only to make a good impression anyway, nice big windows, a great view

Thats all I can think of right now. But that should stand you in good stead for a while! Enjoy your "pad"

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Old 07-21-2003, 03:16 PM   #27
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you'd be better off setting it up the way YOU like it, get your computer/office set up so you can work comfortably, and not worry about bringing the bitches over. Thats what thier apartments or hotel rooms are for.
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Old 07-21-2003, 03:16 PM   #28
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You need: a box of blunts
An ounce of high grade chronic
A keg-er-ator (costco has them, dunno if they have them in fl)
Can't believe no one said a stripper pole

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Old 07-21-2003, 03:54 PM   #29
Flynn
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Quote:
Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
Some Kenny G on the stereo...
be sensitive... cry alot...
and some really fabulous drapes.
you have to get the Fabulous drapes!
this cracks me up!!
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Old 07-21-2003, 04:17 PM   #30
nxixnxo
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great suggestions... keep them coming...

i need a party goat... any idea where i an get one!


juicy, im not sure i want your kind of one on one consulting.... too many rumors going around gfy, and i like to keep my ass intact


nxixnxo
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Old 07-21-2003, 04:21 PM   #31
Undutchable
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Here's what I dug up about things the bachelor needs to get the women comfortable (and wet):


1: Two kick-ass wine glasses. (Waterford, Tiffany & Co., Baccarat)
2: Two big fluffy towels. (Tommy Hilfiger Home, Ralph Lauren Home Collection, Banana Republic Home)
3: One bottle of nice champagne. (Veuve Clicquot, Perrier-Jouët, Moët & Chandon)
4: One vintage Poster.
5: Five Great Books. (Catcher in the Rye, Dickens, Dostoevsky, etc...)
6: Something that lives. Dog, cat, plant, sea monkey ? women don?t care what it is, as long as it proves you can commit to keeping something alive for longer than four days. Mold doesn?t count.
7: Framed pictures of family and friends.
8: One piece of wacky, tacky kitsch. In other words something weird, as Maxim puts it "chrome bust of Elvis in the hallway"
9: Fine bedding. Make sure you have a set of sheets with at least 250 thread count and a down comforter.
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Old 07-21-2003, 04:31 PM   #32
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All the responses in this thread are pretty good. It's usually a good idea just keep the place somewhat clean, and as comfortable as you can. Here are a couple suggestions:


- Lots of toilet paper
- King size bed
- Comfortable sofa
- Big TV
- Nice stereo in living room and bedroom
- Selection of movies and music
- As many awesome blankets as you can afford. Even if you're fucking homeless in 10 years, you're not going to be pissed off that you spent money on some great blankets. The softer the better. King-size Velux, micro-chenille, micro-fleece, and those big, thick throws you can get at Wal-Mart for $15 in the winter are all good to have around.
- Plenty of pillows around your couch and bed
- Scented candles and incense
- Stocked bar (rum, whiskey, vodka, gin, tequila)
- Nice sampling of wine (decent merlot, chardonnay, white)
- A couple kinds of beer in the fridge
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Old 07-21-2003, 04:35 PM   #33
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a bar...

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Old 07-21-2003, 04:36 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally posted by pornJester
a bar...

That has to be the trashiest thing I have even seen. I guess if you are going for white trash trailer look, this would be the look.
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Old 07-21-2003, 04:39 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bulldog-Johnnie
At least 1/2 oz of good Colombian marching powder, if you plan on getting strippers or models back with you...
soooooo true
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Old 07-21-2003, 04:40 PM   #36
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Originally posted by BradShaw


That has to be the trashiest thing I have even seen. I guess if you are going for white trash trailer look, this would be the look.
I kinda liked that lil set up
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Old 07-21-2003, 04:41 PM   #37
pornJester
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Quote:
Originally posted by BradShaw


That has to be the trashiest thing I have even seen. I guess if you are going for white trash trailer look, this would be the look.
and you are?



here's some more pics for the lobster...

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Old 07-21-2003, 04:44 PM   #38
Juicy D. Links
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You guys have no clue how to set up a gigolo pad
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Old 07-21-2003, 04:44 PM   #39
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Make sure you toilets clean.
Trust Me clean toilet=loads
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Old 07-21-2003, 04:54 PM   #40
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some of these responses were taken word for word out of 'how to get girls' type guides.
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Old 07-21-2003, 04:54 PM   #41
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Quote:
Originally posted by nxixnxo
so i just got my own place... tell me things that i must have to make its a swinging (lol) bachelor bad... what are the essentials....
what will get the girls wet as soon as they enter my place!

what will make my place the place to be

thanks homies

nxixnxo

Since you are in Miami, you need me at the parties...to take care of all the girls...
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Old 07-21-2003, 05:00 PM   #42
nxixnxo
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dax hit me up... im at the beach... and party nasty all the time

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Old 07-21-2003, 05:03 PM   #43
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you def need this bed




get it here at www.pimpit.com
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Old 07-21-2003, 05:08 PM   #44
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Quote:
Originally posted by BradShaw


That has to be the trashiest thing I have even seen. I guess if you are going for white trash trailer look, this would be the look.
i thought faux granite countertops was the way to go for that particular look...
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Old 07-21-2003, 07:02 PM   #45
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- All lights shall be a soft pink ( everyone looks great in them)
- Good Quality wines ranging from white to dark to cover all tastes
- Wine opener. ( see above)
- Good crackers and really good cheeses ( only get day of use)
- Gormuet Mustards for cheese and crackers.
- Lots of green and a nice bong / case of papers.
- Rubbers - enough to retread a 18 wheeler.
- Incense - nice incense that isnt overpowering.
- Toilet paper ( babes go thru this like mad, I dont know why)
- Extra toothbrush in the medicne cabinet. ( no reason to leave)
- Floss ( this is essentail, chicks love floss)
- Pics of your mom ( its a fact, you are good to mom, you'll treat her like a princess. Also, pics in the frames work wonders, lol)
- Pics of nieces / nephews ( chicks love kids)
- Pics of animals you had back in the day

Absolutely, you MUST have Marvin Gaye records.
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Old 07-21-2003, 07:12 PM   #46
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Quote:
Originally posted by CrazyNakedChick
maid service, hit up a local company. they will come in once a week and straighten everything out for you inexpensively.

i've yet to see a bachelor pad bathroom safe enough to actually use.
That's no shit. The first place I had I shared with 2 other guys and that place was a wreck for the first 2 months we lived there. Finally my Mom called one of the other guys Moms and they pitched in and got us maid service. It was fucking great. We'd leave for work and the place would have beer cans and pizza boxes all over the place and when we got home, it was spotless and smelled like Pine Sol.
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Old 07-21-2003, 07:15 PM   #47
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Astroglide, and some spare change for when the ice-cream truck drives by!
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Old 07-21-2003, 07:19 PM   #48
AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE
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For a fucking idiot thats pretty funny.


Oh, you need a Neon sign that reads

"OPEN"

And blinking.
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