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Old 05-13-2003, 05:42 AM   #1
Machete_
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I hate this..

I got a BIG hemroid, and I cant walk or sit without it hurting like hell - why did God create stuff like that - its fucking insane.

- and I dident even take it up the pooper
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Old 05-13-2003, 05:43 AM   #2
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Sit sideways.
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Old 05-13-2003, 05:44 AM   #3
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Sit sideways.
that hurts to - I cant even lay down in bed - it hurts 24/7, and all the local clinics are overbooked, so i can only have it removed 8 days from now - I will KILL people before that
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Old 05-13-2003, 05:49 AM   #4
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stand on your head.

*shrugs*
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Old 05-13-2003, 05:49 AM   #5
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Originally posted by ebus_dk
I got a BIG hemroid, and I cant walk or sit without it hurting like hell - why did God create stuff like that - its fucking insane.

- and I dident even take it up the pooper


Ha-ha!
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Old 05-13-2003, 06:10 AM   #6
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try having a UTI..you will dream of the pain you have now as the good old days
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Old 05-13-2003, 06:13 AM   #7
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try having a UTI..you will dream of the pain you have now as the good old days
what is a UTI ?
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Old 05-13-2003, 06:15 AM   #8
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..just found a privat clinic 93 miles from home, that will do it right now - im out
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Old 05-13-2003, 06:20 AM   #9
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..just found a privat clinic 93 miles from home, that will do it right now - im out
Hope it's not a bumpy ride.
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Old 05-13-2003, 06:25 AM   #10
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:stoned

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Old 05-13-2003, 06:26 AM   #11
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Only hemroid, nothing else?
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Old 05-13-2003, 06:27 AM   #12
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damn they burn
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Old 05-13-2003, 06:28 AM   #13
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like this ?

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Old 05-13-2003, 07:05 AM   #14
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like this ?

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Old 05-13-2003, 07:05 AM   #15
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Old 05-13-2003, 07:07 AM   #16
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UTI=Urinary Tract Infection...nasty little thing!

Do you have one of those doughnut butt pillows to relieve the pressure on yer bum?

http://www.valuemedicalsupplies.com/donut.htm
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Old 05-13-2003, 08:01 AM   #17
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UTI = proof satan exists.
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Old 05-13-2003, 08:02 AM   #18
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UTI = proof satan exists.
Amen!! The worst feeling EVER!
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Old 05-13-2003, 08:24 AM   #19
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Just wait till the itchy stage kicks in? And your fingers and all of your farts stink of Preparation H?
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Old 05-13-2003, 10:27 AM   #20
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I just got back - the asshole looked at it for 2 minutes (first time for me to have another male grab my ass - hehe) and then said "thats not so bad, go home and rup this ointment onto your butthole"

fucking homo! why dident he just cut the damm thing off?
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Old 05-13-2003, 10:32 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by sarah_webinc
UTI = proof satan exists.
Indeed so!!
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Old 05-13-2003, 10:49 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by ebus_dk
I just got back - the asshole looked at it for 2 minutes (first time for me to have another male grab my ass - hehe) and then said "thats not so bad, go home and rup this ointment onto your butthole"

fucking homo! why dident he just cut the damm thing off?
Because it is your INSIDES coming OUT. They're not supposed to be cut off.
Drink more water and quit straining so hard when you shit, and you won't have this problem!
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Old 05-13-2003, 10:52 AM   #23
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Originally posted by Carrie


Because it is your INSIDES coming OUT. They're not supposed to be cut off.
Drink more water and quit straining so hard when you shit, and you won't have this problem!
Mom - is that you?
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Old 05-13-2003, 10:53 AM   #24
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Did he at LEAST give you a butt doughnut pillow thing?!
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Old 05-13-2003, 10:59 AM   #25
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Umm, what the fuck re you guys talking about? A hemroid is caused by constipation, and it's nothing more than a swelling of blood vessels. It?s not your ?insides coming out,? hell most hemroids are internal. You don?t need to ?get it cut off? either, that would just cause massive amounts of bleeding, and possibly leads to infection. The way to get rid of a hemroid is to wait. Eventually it will bleed itself out. So when you get blood all over your toilet paper, don?t worry that just means it?s going away.

You can get medicated pads if you want (most doctors recommend the ?tucks? brand) but that?s really just to help the pain, they don?t particularly speed up the process.
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:00 AM   #26
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that was a great visual to start off my day....lol
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:04 AM   #27
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that was a great visual to start off my day....lol
YOU WANT PICTURE !! IS THAT IT ????
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:10 AM   #28
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YOU WANT PICTURE !! IS THAT IT ????
yikes! i think the pic here and your explaination gave me all the visual i needed.

hope you feel better!
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:15 AM   #29
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hope you feel better!
now WHAT do YOU think? - I feel fucking GREAT with half my colon hanging out my ass - It looks like some homo assraped me and left half the condom in there
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:16 AM   #30
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alternate cheeks
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:17 AM   #31
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Originally posted by ebus_dk


now WHAT do YOU think? - I feel fucking GREAT with half my colon hanging out my ass - It looks like some homo assraped me and left half the condom in there

Not trying to make light of your pain, but that was a FUNNY line, ebus! Made me choke on Cherry Pepsi!

Get the butt pillow, you will feel better!
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:20 AM   #32
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haha...sorry...but it is funny....I know it must hurt bad but it is still funnny....hope you get well soon....hahah
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:24 AM   #33
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Made me choke on Cherry Pepsi!

that made me feel good - DIE! choke on it damm it !!!!!!
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:25 AM   #34
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haha...sorry...but it is funny....I know it must hurt bad but it is still funnny....hope you get well soon....hahah
shut up !!! my body is falling through my butthole, and thats not funny
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:28 AM   #35
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Assholes always get hemorrhoids....

FT**
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:33 AM   #36
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Assholes always get hemorrhoids....

FT**
If fat preggo trailer trash bithes dident know, then who would?
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:39 AM   #37
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If fat preggo trailer trash bithes dident know, then who would?
LOL
its a known fact..everyone knows it...ASSHOLES always get hemorrhoids...truth HURTS doesnt it? ROFLMAO at you!!!
I hope it feels like it RIPS you apart....
Have a painfully beautiful day! I know I will have a great day after this post....

FT**
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:41 AM   #38
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that made me feel good - DIE! choke on it damm it !!!!!!

...and JUST as quickly as it began, my sympathy ends...
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:43 AM   #39
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...truth HURTS doesnt it? ROFLMAO at you!!!

like i said; "If fat preggo trailer trash bithes dident know, then who would? "
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:44 AM   #40
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...and JUST as quickly as it began, my sympathy ends...
dident you choke ?
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:46 AM   #41
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now WHAT do YOU think? - I feel fucking GREAT with half my colon hanging out my ass - It looks like some homo assraped me and left half the condom in there
ROFLMAO....this is too friggin funny!!!!

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Old 05-13-2003, 11:47 AM   #42
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shut up !!! my body is falling through my butthole, and thats not funny
I hope the feeling stays with you for a VERY LONG TIME!!!!
ROFLMAO at you...

FT**
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:48 AM   #43
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dident you choke ?
Felt bad for you. Seriously...even looked up the link for the best hemoroid pillow at the lowest price, then you wish me dead.

Hard to care for your fellow man who delights in the idea of your death.
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:56 AM   #44
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Is that what a hemoroid looks like? God... Fucking ouch. I hope that never happens to me. How did it happen?

I feel for you.
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Old 05-13-2003, 12:00 PM   #45
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Here you go..some info for you..I think you should try one of these Anal PROBES things....

From your Freezer to your Anus - relief in minutes!
Our name may be different but our products - Butt-Ice, Anurex and Canadian Prep-H are scientifically proven to give rapid relief and real healing.

Butt-Ice and Anurex are both cooling PROBES the size of your pinky that slip comfortably into your anus to give cooling relief to throbbing hemorrhoids and itchy butt. Butt-ice is our brand name and is the same as Anurex while being much less expensive.

This cooling therapy really works, and is non drug so it can be used during pregnancy and over long periods of time. One of the world's expert surgeons -Dr. Warren Rudd uses the Anurex for his most difficult patients, even to assist in recovery from surgery. Read the endorsement from his own website and call him if you would like to consult with this world renowned surgeon.


ROFLMAO ............

FT**
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Old 05-13-2003, 12:01 PM   #46
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:2cents

Hey ebus,

I just recently recovered from a particular nasty case myself. The best thing for me was regular aspirin, and sitting in a warm bath. The bath helps to ease the pain, if only temporarily. I still had pain/discomfort for about 2 weeks until it finally went away. Sorry man
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Old 05-13-2003, 12:01 PM   #47
Machete_
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Originally posted by FetishTemptress
Here you go..some info for you..I think you should try one of these Anal PROBES things....

From your Freezer to your Anus - relief in minutes!
Our name may be different but our products - Butt-Ice, Anurex and Canadian Prep-H are scientifically proven to give rapid relief and real healing.

Butt-Ice and Anurex are both cooling PROBES the size of your pinky that slip comfortably into your anus to give cooling relief to throbbing hemorrhoids and itchy butt. Butt-ice is our brand name and is the same as Anurex while being much less expensive.

This cooling therapy really works, and is non drug so it can be used during pregnancy and over long periods of time. One of the world's expert surgeons -Dr. Warren Rudd uses the Anurex for his most difficult patients, even to assist in recovery from surgery. Read the endorsement from his own website and call him if you would like to consult with this world renowned surgeon.


ROFLMAO ............

FT**
GOD DAMM IT !! GET OUT OF MY THREAD !!!!!
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Old 05-13-2003, 12:04 PM   #48
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You could even TRY THIS
For a prolapsed hemorrhoid, a soft, grape-like mass protruding from the anus that may be itchy or painful or may leak a watery fluid or mucus ? In some cases, you can gently press the prolapsed hemorrhoid back into the anus with your fingertips.

THAT SHOULD FEEL REAL GOOD! ROFLMAO


FT**
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Old 05-13-2003, 12:05 PM   #49
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You seem to be in EXTREME PAIN so these are the alternatives for treatment:

If you have more severe hemorrhoid symptoms, or if your hemorrhoids are prolapsed or thrombosed, your doctor may recommend one of the following treatment options:

Rubber-band ligation ? A rubber band is slipped around the base of the hemorrhoid to cut off its circulation. Once it has been deprived of its vital blood supply, the banded hemorrhoid withers and falls off.


Sclerotherapy ? An irritating chemical solution is injected directly into the hemorrhoid or the area around it. This solution causes a local reaction that interferes with blood flow inside the hemorrhoid, making the hemorrhoid shrink.


Coagulation therapies ? These treatments use electricity, a laser or infrared light to destroy hemorrhoids by burning.


Hemorrhoidectomy ? In this procedure, hemorrhoids are removed surgically. Although this is very effective at removing hemorrhoids permanently, it carries the risk of causing anal scars that may interfere with bowel movements.

ROFLMAO
FT**
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Old 05-13-2003, 12:08 PM   #50
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Quote:
Originally posted by FetishTemptress
You seem to be in EXTREME PAIN so these are the alternatives for treatment:

If you have more severe hemorrhoid symptoms, or if your hemorrhoids are prolapsed or thrombosed, your doctor may recommend one of the following treatment options:

Rubber-band ligation ? A rubber band is slipped around the base of the hemorrhoid to cut off its circulation. Once it has been deprived of its vital blood supply, the banded hemorrhoid withers and falls off.


Sclerotherapy ? An irritating chemical solution is injected directly into the hemorrhoid or the area around it. This solution causes a local reaction that interferes with blood flow inside the hemorrhoid, making the hemorrhoid shrink.


Coagulation therapies ? These treatments use electricity, a laser or infrared light to destroy hemorrhoids by burning.


Hemorrhoidectomy ? In this procedure, hemorrhoids are removed surgically. Although this is very effective at removing hemorrhoids permanently, it carries the risk of causing anal scars that may interfere with bowel movements.

ROFLMAO
FT**
SHUT THE FUCK UP, AND GO AWAY!!!
I DONT LIKE YOU STALKING ME !!!
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