Here you go..some info for you..I think you should try one of these Anal PROBES things....
From your Freezer to your Anus - relief in minutes!
Our name may be different but our products - Butt-Ice, Anurex and Canadian Prep-H are scientifically proven to give rapid relief and real healing.
Butt-Ice and Anurex are both cooling PROBES the size of your pinky that slip comfortably into your anus to give cooling relief to throbbing hemorrhoids and itchy butt. Butt-ice is our brand name and is the same as Anurex while being much less expensive.
This cooling therapy really works, and is non drug so it can be used during pregnancy and over long periods of time. One of the world's expert surgeons -Dr. Warren Rudd uses the Anurex for his most difficult patients, even to assist in recovery from surgery. Read the endorsement from his own website and call him if you would like to consult with this world renowned surgeon.
ROFLMAO ............
FT**