I would never refer a mainstream client to GFY members

[Rob]

One of my close offline business associates asked me if I knew a good web marketing guy for his mainstream company, some wholesale food distributor or some shit. He's a burly chap, originally from NY, still has that grimy NY accent. Smokes the stogies and sounds like a 70's wiseguy. But being 62, doesn't know shit about computers. I tell him, sure, I know a couple of marketing guys, perfect for what he's looking for.

Below is the phone conversation.

Lou: Hey Robby boy, you got any good marketing guys? You know, the nerd ones, computer marketing and shit. My daughter tells me I need more computer advertising on this Google.

Me: Lou, hey buddy, yeah man. As a matter of fact, I visit a forum where a lot of them hang out and bullshit. (at this point he's thinking "forum" means a coffee shop where we all mingle offline, drink espresso, and discuss web nerd shit)

Lou: That's my boy, Robby. I'll shoot you over a little bonus if they work out and get the job done. That's whatcha gotta do kid, you gotta grease those palms that feed ya.

Me: Thanks man, but it's not necessary. Just be cautious, some of these people will rip you off faster than Barbaro ended his attempt at the Triple Crown.

Lou: Too soon, Robby, too soon. Still hurt'n from the couple grand on that break. But aye, Robby, you're a good guy. I'll send ya over something. You have these people call me, or I call them? What? We email or text message shit? How does this work?

Me: I'll have them contact you via email. I'll tell them to let you know that Rob from Go Fuck Yourself sent them.

Lou: Go fuck, go, go fuck yourself? Who you talk'n to, pal? This some kinda fucking joke to you? I was honestly looking for your help and you waste my time and tell me to go fuck myself.

Me: No, no, no...Lou, they're from Go Fuck Yourself!

Lou: Now you wanna play fucking games? Do you know any computer marketing people or are you gonna continue to waste my time?

Me: Yes! LOL! That's what I'm trying to tell you. They're the geeky web marketing guys you need. I know them from my forum.

Lou: OK, so it's one of those online fellas. Where did you say you knew them from again? A forum?

Me: Yes, GoFuckYouself.com

Lou: Ah you mother fucker, you! Know you wanna be smart?!? That's it, I've had enough. I'm grabbing my .45 and I'll see you in a couple minutes you mother fucker! Go fuck myself? Go fuck myself? I'll show you who's gonna get fucked.

Me: Lou? Lou? Lou?????

Lou: <dead air>

Me: Oh shit! This is why I don't fucking give mainstream referrals from GFY!

[brassmonkey]

i understand that

[Lichen]

Didn't read.

[Rob]

P.S. This story is 100% absolutely fictitious. I was bored, wanted to write a funny joke to cheer myself up for, thanks to many of you fine purveyors of great advice, made me think I had 24 hours to live last night.

[Jel]

this makes me worry for your health even more than the stroke thread





ps glad you took the advice in the other thread and got yourself checked out

[RyuLion]

..good thing I didn't read all that then..

[PR_Glen]

i've actually had conversations like this with newer webmasters over the years. I usually have to put in parenthesis (yes that is the name of the forum!) just so they don't think i'm blowing them off haha

[CurrentlySober]

Did everything suddenly go black and silent for a bit?

[DerekMister33]

LOL Agree.