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Old 02-11-2003, 09:24 PM   #1
GTS Mark
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:tongue You Know You Live In....

You know you live in California when...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
************************************
You Know You Live in New York City when...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is "nature,"
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
********************************
You Know You Live in Maine when...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
***********************************************
You Know You Live in the Deep South when...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2."ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?"
4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, etc.
*******************************************
You Know You live in Colorado when...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
**************************************
You Know You live in the Midwest when...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"
***********************************************
You Know You live in Florida when...
1. You eat dinner at 4:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4.Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.



DH
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Old 02-11-2003, 09:26 PM   #2
KRL
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Quote:
Originally posted by DrinkingHard
***********************************************
You Know You live in Florida when...
1. You eat dinner at 4:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4.Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.



DH

Fuck man, that's too funny and so true.
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Old 02-11-2003, 09:28 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by DrinkingHard
You Know You Live in the Deep South when...

4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
That's true. :D
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Old 02-11-2003, 09:30 PM   #4
ryph
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Aww man, how'd you miss Jersey?!

You know you 're from Jersey when...

# At least half the people you knew in high school went to Rutgers.


# You know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.


# You know the only people that call it "Joisy" are from New York.


# You don't think of citrus when people mention "the oranges."


# You know that it's called "Great Adventure" . . . not "Six Flags."


# You've ordered a "hard roll and butter" for breakfast.


# One time, a sea gull relieved itself on your head.


# You know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from.


# You hate New York drivers.


# You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.


# At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen!!!


# "Anyone who makes bad pizza shouldn't live in this state" is your attitude.

# At some point, you owned a pair of Cavaricci's.


# The New Jersey Turnpike doesn't freak you out at night.


# That toll road to the shore is the "Parkway," not the "Garden State" as the New Yorkers call it.


# You know what a "jug handle" is.


# Even your school made good Italian subs.


# At least one major highway is under construction at all times.


# You know that ACME is an actual store, not just a Warner Brothers creation.


# You only go to New York City for day trips.


# You've run out of money on the Parkway (open the door, there is always plenty on the road).


# In the 80's you wore your hair REALLY high.


# You know where to get the best bagel.


# You've never had to pump your own gas.


# The Jets/Giants game has started fights at your school and/or local bar.


# You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.


# You can see the New York City skyline from some part of your town.


# You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.


# You've seen or been in a fight between a Rangers fan and a Devils fan.


# You have or know someone with Mafia connections.


# You've been in a town or city where Spanish is spoken more than English.


# Your remember Action Park and may have been seriously injured there.


# At some time you got on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook mall, or Newark Airport.


# You've tasted a Mid-Way cheesesteak (Mmm!).


# You have a favorite Atlantic City casino. You're Italian.
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Old 02-11-2003, 09:31 PM   #5
Candyman69
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AHAHAHH good one
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Old 02-11-2003, 09:35 PM   #6
nobull
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hey ryph

you ever been to the Spank Tank in West Orange?

awww...to many stories about that place to tell here
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Old 02-11-2003, 09:38 PM   #7
CamelToePubes
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Does anyone have one of these for Boston? That would be interesting.
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Old 02-11-2003, 09:38 PM   #8
ryph
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Quote:
Originally posted by nobull
hey ryph

you ever been to the Spank Tank in West Orange?

awww...to many stories about that place to tell here
Nope, doesn't even ring a bell. I'm more in the paterson area. But then again, it could be that I'm kinda young
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Old 02-11-2003, 09:41 PM   #9
nobull
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I have an office in Boston and the only thing i can say is the traffic sucks
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Old 02-11-2003, 09:48 PM   #10
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You know you live in Chicago when:

You drink at bars called "Bud on Tap" or "Old Style"-no names, just beer signs out front.
You know "Windy City" is not a reference to the weather.
You thank Michael Jordan for helping people around the world to stop equating the city with Al Capone
It's January and you see someone's kitchen chair in the street, and you know that if you put it back on the sidewalk you will be shot on sight.
When the city that works doesn't work, and you sadly say that it wouldn't be like that "if The Mayor were still alive"
You live two miles from work and it takes an hour to drive there.
You don't flinch when you pay the fifth toll of your 45-minute car ride on the highway.
You have trouble pronouncing "th" words-"dis, dat"
You've played 16-inch softball.
You automatically slip into a dreamy nostalgic haze upon hearing the names Royko, Ditka, or Payton.
When you were walking to work last summer, you ran into a cow.
You've tried several times to identify the Picasso sculpture in Daley Plaza-and have decided it's just a big baboon.
When you read a big story in the paper about mob ties in the city government, your first reaction is "So, tell me something I don't know."
You don't wonder why they named a stadium after gum.
You think anything south of I-80 is Southern Illinois.
You're not sure what state Carbondale is in.
Sausage is pronounced "SAH - SAGE," not "SAW - SAGE"
You know Lincoln Towing is Satan incarnate.
You've paid $105 for towing, $30 for more than one "street cleaning" ticket, $58 for a city vehicle sticker, and $70 for a license plate sticker -- and chalk it all up to "neighborhood taxes."
You pluralize grocery stores and retail chains: "I'm going to Jewels"; "I bought it at Targets"; "I couldn't find parking at Wal-Marts"
You recognize all the street signs and El stops in "High Fidelity."
You know what Steve Kerr and John Paxson have in common.
You're still excited about the Lower Wacker shortcut.
You've taken the Red Line past the point where all white people get off and all black people get on-or vice versa.
You've cursed at a cyclist, pedestrian, or in-line skater on the lakefront path.
You know the significance of State and Madison.
You wonder if the fries will taste the same at Sammy Sosa's Restaurant.
You don't miss Planet Hollywood.
You're not ashamed of wearing a big fur Russian hat, or a head sock with one hole in it, in public from November through March.
You knew what a "Shawon-O-Meter" was for.
You can decipher a WMAQ traffic report, but your out of town passenger thinks it's just jibberish.
You have fond memories of radio stations with 3-letter call signs.
You learned your interstate highways by name and not the number.
Driving under an "Oasis" doesn't seem unusual to you.
When the visiting team hits a ball out of the park you expect to see it sail back in moments later.
You can finish this phrase: five eight eight
Grocery stores are the only type of retail entity that get a definite article: "I'm going to The Jewel" or "I'll stop by The Dominick's on the way home."
You give driving distances in minutes or blocks, never in miles.
You can tell within minutes of meeting someone if they're probably a Cubs fan or a Sox fan.
You know what "a beef" is...even better, a combo.
You've had a Polish on Maxwell.
You would never ruin a good hot dog by putting ketchup on it.
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Old 02-11-2003, 09:54 PM   #11
BV
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Quote:
Originally posted by DrinkingHard
***********************************************
You Know You live in Florida when...
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.


DH
I assume thats the old retired ladies that can't see over the steering wheel?, lol, that is definately true!

It's been like that for a long time. I remember way back my dad calling them lizards. (cause they all had lots of loose skin sagging on their neck like the little lizards we have all over here do. lol Sounds mean now that I look back on it.

There was also this huge housing developement down here called "Leisurville". Some EMT friends I knew nicknamed it "Siezurville".

It's hell to get old. I hope I never do.
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Old 02-11-2003, 10:32 PM   #12
TurboTrucker
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Location: Phoenix Arizona
Posts: 2,363
You know you live in Phoenix when

....your car overheats before you start it

?.you think someone driving while wearing oven mitts is clever.

?.you know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

?.people will drive over a hundred miles just to see snow.

?.you run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.

?.you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance
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Old 02-11-2003, 11:16 PM   #13
Kimmykim
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Quote:
Originally posted by TurboTrucker
?.you think someone driving while wearing oven mitts is clever.

Damn I never thought of that.
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Old 02-11-2003, 11:48 PM   #14
ZeNd
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ryph being from
Dirty Jersey I know
exactly what you mean.
dude LOL
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