Why did the chicken cross the road? - GoFuckYourself.com

pr0 · 11-24-2002, 02:54 PM

An old college professor sent me this, got a good laugh outta it

Why did the chicken cross the road???

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see
the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
"other side." That's what "they" call it the "other side." Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
harmless phrase like "the other side." That chicken should not be
free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough
for us.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified
in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
"chicken?" Could you define "chicken" please?

GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed
the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, And
there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?

klik · 11-24-2002, 03:34 PM

Good shit..

"COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?" <---

tree · 11-24-2002, 03:36 PM

cause he wanted to have se...se....se...............

he ww..w...wanted to have sex with the rooster!

FlyingIguana · 11-24-2002, 03:39 PM

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?

lol

Seb From Holland · 11-24-2002, 03:47 PM

Good one, pr0!

railz · 11-24-2002, 03:52 PM

OZZY OSBORNE
Because it's the f**king prince of darkness! What the f**k else would the f**king prince of f**king darkness want to do but cross the f**king road?

OJ SIMPSON
The chicken was planted there on the side of the road. I had nothing to do with it. Anyone for golf?

pr0 · 11-24-2002, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tree
cause he wanted to have se...se....se...............

he ww..w...wanted to have sex with the rooster!

FlyingIguana · 11-24-2002, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by railz
OZZY OSBORNE
Because it's the f**king prince of darkness! What the f**k else would the f**king prince of f**king darkness want to do but cross the f**king road?

OJ SIMPSON
The chicken was planted there on the side of the road. I had nothing to do with it. Anyone for golf?

you know, you can say bad words here, lensman won't spank you.

gimpdog · 11-24-2002, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by FlyingIguana

you know, you can say bad words here, lensman won't spank you.

i think he was trying the on screen version of a 'beep'

obvious really

XXXPaysiteDesign · 11-24-2002, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by FlyingIguana

you know, you can say bad words here, lensman won't spank you.

I might though.

Fletch XXX · 11-24-2002, 04:07 PM

heheh

Bobo · 11-24-2002, 04:12 PM

marty · 11-24-2002, 04:24 PM

Very clever. I even read it in those peoples voices and it was so them (the ones I knew anyway).

[Labret] · 11-24-2002, 04:26 PM

CDSmith
"Because I was trying to sodomize him"

pr0 · 11-24-2002, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by marty

Very clever. I even read it in those peoples voices and it was so them (the ones I knew anyway).

me too, especially the fallwell one

railz · 11-24-2002, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by gimpdog

i think he was trying the on screen version of a 'beep'

obvious really

Bingo!

railz · 11-24-2002, 04:45 PM

WINONA RYDER
I didn't steal the chicken! I was researching for my part in "Crossing Roads: A Chicken's Story".

HOMER SIMPSON
Hmmmmm. Chickeeennnnn. Is it fried? Marge!

gimpdog · 11-24-2002, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by railz

Bingo!

what do I win?

11-24-2002, 02:54 PM	#1
pr0 rockin tha trailerpark Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: ~Coastal~ Posts: 23,088	Why did the chicken cross the road? An old college professor sent me this, got a good laugh outta it Why did the chicken cross the road??? PAT BUCHANAN To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. JERRY FALWELL Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrase like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that. DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told! ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. KARL MARX It was a historical inevitability. SADDAM HUSSEIN This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. RONALD REAGAN What chicken? CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. FOX MULDER You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it? FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. BILL GATES I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken. EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by "chicken?" Could you define "chicken" please? GEORGE W. BUSH I don't think I should have to answer that question. LOUIS FARRAKHAN The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down. THE BIBLE And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, And there was much rejoicing. COLONEL SANDERS I missed one? __________________ __________ Loadedca$h - get sum! - Revengebucks - mmm rebills! - webair (gotz sErVrz)

11-24-2002, 03:52 PM	#6
railz Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 2,531	OZZY OSBORNE Because it's the fking prince of darkness! What the fk else would the fking prince of fking darkness want to do but cross the f**king road? OJ SIMPSON The chicken was planted there on the side of the road. I had nothing to do with it. Anyone for golf? __________________ This Space for Rent

11-24-2002, 04:07 PM	#11
Fletch XXX GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: that 504 Posts: 60,840	heheh __________________ Want an Android App for your tube, membership, or free site? Need banners or promo material? Hit us up (ICQ Fletch: 148841377) or email me fletchxxx at gmail.com - recent work - About me

11-24-2002, 04:45 PM	#17
railz Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 2,531	WINONA RYDER I didn't steal the chicken! I was researching for my part in "Crossing Roads: A Chicken's Story". HOMER SIMPSON Hmmmmm. Chickeeennnnn. Is it fried? Marge! __________________ This Space for Rent

11-24-2002, 03:34 PM	#2
klik Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: san diego Posts: 5,092	Good shit.. "COLONEL SANDERS I missed one?" <---

11-24-2002, 03:36 PM	#3
tree Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 1,601	cause he wanted to have se...se....se............... he ww..w...wanted to have sex with the rooster!

11-24-2002, 03:39 PM	#4
FlyingIguana aspiring banker Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: toronto Posts: 10,870	COLONEL SANDERS I missed one? lol

11-24-2002, 03:47 PM	#5
Seb From Holland Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 2,747	Good one, pr0!

11-24-2002, 04:12 PM	#12
Bobo Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 2,253	lol

11-24-2002, 04:24 PM	#13
marty Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 1,656	Very clever. I even read it in those peoples voices and it was so them (the ones I knew anyway).

11-24-2002, 04:26 PM	#14
[Labret] Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: Са́нкт-Петербу́рг Posts: 10,945	CDSmith "Because I was trying to sodomize him"