Why did the chicken cross the road?
 

An old college professor sent me this, got a good laugh outta it :1orglaugh

Why did the chicken cross the road???

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see
the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
"other side." That's what "they" call it the "other side." Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
harmless phrase like "the other side." That chicken should not be
free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.


DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough
for us.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified
in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
"chicken?" Could you define "chicken" please?

GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed
the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, And
there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Good shit..

"COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?" <---:1orglaugh

cause he wanted to have se...se....se...............


he ww..w...wanted to have sex with the rooster!

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?


lol

Good one, pr0! :1orglaugh

OZZY OSBORNE
Because it's the f**king prince of darkness! What the f**k else would the f**king prince of f**king darkness want to do but cross the f**king road?

OJ SIMPSON
The chicken was planted there on the side of the road. I had nothing to do with it. Anyone for golf?

:1orglaugh

you know, you can say bad words here, lensman won't spank you.

i think he was trying the on screen version of a 'beep'

obvious really

I might though.

heheh

:smokin

lol

:1orglaugh

Very clever. I even read it in those peoples voices and it was so them (the ones I knew anyway).

CDSmith
"Because I was trying to sodomize him"

me too, especially the fallwell one :1orglaugh

Bingo!

WINONA RYDER
I didn't steal the chicken! I was researching for my part in "Crossing Roads: A Chicken's Story".

HOMER SIMPSON
Hmmmmm. Chickeeennnnn. Is it fried? Marge!

what do I win?