Funny Bill Gates joke... - GoFuckYourself.com

Brad Mitchell · 05-07-2003, 02:58 PM

...ok, I'm sure it made it's rounds but this is the first time I read it. LOL enjoy!

Brad

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon". In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

OzKaNoz · 05-07-2003, 03:41 PM

Lol, I heard a few times before but it's still funny.

Oz

Lane · 05-07-2003, 03:44 PM

traffictrader · 05-07-2003, 04:06 PM

YEah, well, I think i'd put up with all of those things if my car cost $25 and got 1000 miles to the gallon

jojojo · 05-07-2003, 04:19 PM

I read this a long time ago - but didn't remember it

I laughed my ass off.

Hilarious

Brad Mitchell · 05-07-2003, 07:20 PM

neewwman · 05-07-2003, 07:32 PM

Are you going to goof off and post jokes, or are you going to give me a testimonial for my ebook?

Brad Mitchell · 05-07-2003, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by neewwman
Are you going to goof off and post jokes, or are you going to give me a testimonial for my ebook?

Yeah, I deserved that... I've almost got my in-bin cleared, you're next on my list my friend. Give me some credit, it did turn into a 100+ page pet project! lol

Brad

Lykos · 05-07-2003, 10:43 PM

fantasycontent · 05-07-2003, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by OzKaNoz
Lol, I heard a few times before but it's still funny.

Oz

what he said....thanks for sharing ;-)

05-07-2003, 02:58 PM	#1
Brad Mitchell Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Southfield, MI Posts: 9,812	Funny Bill Gates joke... ...ok, I'm sure it made it's rounds but this is the first time I read it. LOL enjoy! Brad For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon". In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads. 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light. 7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying. 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off. __________________ President at MojoHost \| brad at mojohost dot com \| Skype MojoHostBrad 71 industry awards for hosting and professional excellence since 1999

05-07-2003, 03:41 PM	#2
OzKaNoz Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Deep With In Your Mind Posts: 1,834	Lol, I heard a few times before but it's still funny. Oz __________________ Techie Media Web Hosting

05-07-2003, 03:44 PM	#3
Lane Will code for food... Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Buckeye, AZ Posts: 8,496	__________________

05-07-2003, 04:06 PM	#4
traffictrader Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: ICQ# 93507395 Posts: 1,331	YEah, well, I think i'd put up with all of those things if my car cost $25 and got 1000 miles to the gallon __________________

05-07-2003, 04:19 PM	#5
jojojo Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 2,318	I read this a long time ago - but didn't remember it I laughed my ass off. Hilarious __________________ Learn SEO - make $$ residually - icq me 333485092

05-07-2003, 07:20 PM	#6
Brad Mitchell Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Southfield, MI Posts: 9,812	__________________ President at MojoHost \| brad at mojohost dot com \| Skype MojoHostBrad 71 industry awards for hosting and professional excellence since 1999

05-07-2003, 07:32 PM	#7
neewwman Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Los Angeles, CA, USA Posts: 1,737	Are you going to goof off and post jokes, or are you going to give me a testimonial for my ebook? __________________ Porn Wealth Everything the newbie adult webmaster needs to know. Buy it, or sell it through our 50% affiliate program!

05-07-2003, 10:43 PM	#9
Lykos Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: World Posts: 31,027	__________________