News Florida Man Files Patent to Let Everyone Know He Has Giant Balls - GoFuckYourself.com

erehwon · 11-14-2018, 04:28 PM

I must have missed the memo on toilet balls...

https://www.gq.com/story/florida-man...as-giant-balls

I learned two things today:

"Toilet balls" (a.k.a. having genitals so enormous that they fall into the toilet when you're taking a dump) is a real thing that affects many people.

The United States Patents and Trademarks Office will let you patent pretty much anything. And I mean anything.

Case in point, Coral Springs insurance executive Vladimir Laurent. The proud owner of U.S. Patent #9,145,667B, which, according to the USPTO website and some startlingly anatomically correct technical drawings in the South Florida Business Journal, is a sanitary product to "prevent the male genitalia from touching the walls of the toilet while in use."

[...]

Bladewire · 11-14-2018, 07:44 PM

It's a real problem

EddyTheDog · 11-14-2018, 08:06 PM

My balls are a nightmare - They are fine until there is even the slightest drop in temperature - Half a degree and my sack shrivels up so fast my testicles become a choking hazard...

bronco67 · 11-14-2018, 08:13 PM

Wouldn't having your gorilla nuts laying on the gadget be just as dirty as the toilet? It's all still in shit water, so what does it matter what your balls touch?

11-14-2018, 04:28 PM	#1
erehwon Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: A secure undisclosed location... Posts: 3,759	Florida Man Files Patent to Let Everyone Know He Has Giant Balls I must have missed the memo on toilet balls... https://www.gq.com/story/florida-man...as-giant-balls I learned two things today: "Toilet balls" (a.k.a. having genitals so enormous that they fall into the toilet when you're taking a dump) is a real thing that affects many people. The United States Patents and Trademarks Office will let you patent pretty much anything. And I mean anything. Case in point, Coral Springs insurance executive Vladimir Laurent. The proud owner of U.S. Patent #9,145,667B, which, according to the USPTO website and some startlingly anatomically correct technical drawings in the South Florida Business Journal, is a sanitary product to "prevent the male genitalia from touching the walls of the toilet while in use." [...] __________________ Money NEVER $leep$...

11-14-2018, 07:44 PM	#2
Bladewire StraightBro Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Monarch Beach, CA USA Posts: 56,229	It's a real problem __________________ Skype: CallTomNow

11-14-2018, 08:13 PM	#4
bronco67 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 29,032	Wouldn't having your gorilla nuts laying on the gadget be just as dirty as the toilet? It's all still in shit water, so what does it matter what your balls touch? __________________

11-14-2018, 08:06 PM	#3
EddyTheDog Just Doing My Own Thing Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: London, Spain, New Zealand, GFY - Not Croydon... Posts: 25,118	My balls are a nightmare - They are fine until there is even the slightest drop in temperature - Half a degree and my sack shrivels up so fast my testicles become a choking hazard...