Just caught my 12yr old son smoking ..........
 

I'm so pissed off, my son is out of school right now because he is suspended. I came home when he didn't expect it and my home home smelt like smoke. He denied but yet the only one here. I'm so mad but don't know what to do! I keep trying to punish him for the last thing, then there is something new!! WTF Any parents of teens have any ideas??:helpme JOYS OF BEING A SINGLE PARENT

make him sit in a closet and smoke cigarettes until he gets sick and throws up. that ought to cure it.

at least its not crack

Been there done that. Instead of punish him, find out why he is a rebel. Could be he is just plain mad, or trying to be like the group?

Guess I was lucky. My kids never had any interest in crap like that. Do you smoke?

Search his room and the trash cans for evidence. Take away the toys (playstation, phone, tv, etc) and Ground him in his room, no tv, no phone, no friends, for a month. Have a neighbor or family member come check up on him when you aren't home without notice. Setup a system where he can start to earn back your trust. Give him responsibilities and chores and things to do. Keep him busy and on a leash. 12 is too young for that shit.

12? Smoking? Suspended?

Is your kid an idiot, or are you? Look at yourself, find out what is wrong with you then re-evaluate how your kid is being raised. You're doing something wrong. Congrats.

Tell him about my dad who smoked for 30 yrs of his life and now is battling stage 4 lung cancer. After quitting for over 20 yrs.

That's pretty much what I did with my son when I caught him at 16. He never smoked again. He actually thanked me for it several times after watching his friends go for 2.5 months of not smoking in the USAF and then go right back to smoking again after they could. He couldn't even stand the smell on a girl who smoked and never dated one who did.

Point out to your son that 99% of the adults who smoke REALLY, REALLY with they could quit - it's one of THE strongest addictions out there. Been there, done that.

No I do not, and I thought I had him convienced that his was allergic to them.:1orglaugh

oooooh bad bad

Can't really argue with you there.

Educate how bad it is for him. Also show him how smoking is not even cool anymore.

for real make him smoke a hole pack, if he complains tell him to get a fucken job n pay half of everything if he ants to be a little man, an if he doesnt like it MOVE!

There is always a Idiot in here, parents aren't always to blame, what cause I got a divorce, is that it?? Oh my fault right? I took his xbox away his cell phone away, my youngest son has Autism is that my fault too??? Asshole:mad:

here, check it out... kids today have FAR too much percieved power over their parents. As I deal with my 14yr old son, I have come to the realization that for someone who knows everything - he dont know jack shit. Being angry about todays teens acting like todays teens, is just a waste of time and will drive you crazy.

What I've found to work - is laying down the law with swift and harsh consequences (and no I dont beat my kids, as much as I would like to sometimes). I just apply the golden rule - as in he/she who has the gold - makes all the rules. So, since I provide everything (food, clothing, home, etc.) i get to dictate what he does. If he doesn't abide then he looses his stuff - to the extent that he is left with one set of clothing that he must wash every day, a sleeping bag and a pillow on the floor of his totally empty room and cheese sandwiches for all three meals. If he don't like it - then he is more than welcome to get a job and find his own apartment. Then he can do whatever he wants. I even take away the stuff that I didn't provide (ie gifts) because since it is my house I get to say what is in it. If he wants to let it sit outside on the street - then he can have it.

It's going to be rough. He will throw a fit. He will even rebel more - but you can't give in and must remain firm in what you dish out as punnishment and set as rules to be followed.

I've seen news stories of parents making their kids stand on a street corner with a sign around their neck with the stupid thing they've done. Embarrasment works too. I'm saving that one for something really stupid.

Anyhow - best of luck to you, I know how tough it can be - but you have to have the resolve to be harsh.

ah thats no good...

It's not a Joke, this actually works. It's hard to do this to someone you care about, but if you don't do something now, he will be a smoker for life.

Fuck, I'd be pretty pissed on your shoes also. But I have no parenting experience, so I'll leave it to the pros.

Oh and one more thing - when it get to the point where I gotta start taking furniture and shit away - i also take the door to his room, which is his privacy. Something that is a priv. not a right when you don't own the home you live in. `;]

Find him a daddy.

You got to find something else that interest him. Unless he has some oral fixation (not a joke) and you can then introduce him to gum. I'm a gum adict, go through two to four packs of gum a day.:(

Haha lol I had my first cigarette when i was 11 at a party and my brothers friends told on me lol

my mum said the choice was mine to take in life and that i know what right and wrong is.

I felt ashamed and I knew I had let my mum down.
I did not have my next cigarette till 16 at another party and now i don't even smoke at all.

Getting angry wont work, at that age they will do the opposite of what you say., tell him the the positives of smoking, tell him the negatives.

Tell him the bad effects of smoking and do like other suggested.

Good luck!

No worries, at least he's 12 years old. In third world countries, the majority of kids start smoking at age 3.

http://www.falloutcentral.com/news/w...id-smoking.jpg

+1 for making him smoke the pack till he pukes.

One of my best friends only smoked at parties and when he was 18 smoked so much he puked, then NEVER touched them again

I wish this would have happened to me

That sucks. My son is almost 10 and I'm not looking forward to his teen yrs.

I think its easier to give up on him. Kick him out at 18 and start over with a new kid. Older people are better parents. It will work out this time.

Damn that sucks.

Show him some pics of how his lungs will look in later life if he continues smoking...

try to speak with the kid and see why he started to smoke.. maybe this can help you sort things out :)

why was he suspended?

Its most prob his friends he his hanging around with and the more you tell him not to do something the more he most prob will do it. Give him guidence and show him what smoking does to people. Ask him how he is gonna pay for all of his ciggys once he is addicted. Get his dad involved as they tend to take a lot more notice of thier dads. My son tried it when he was 15 and it was because of his school friends he was hanging about with. I did not shout or get mad with him instead I showed him pics from the net of what smoking does to people and told him to make his own mind up and aksed him if it would make him happy to see his own kids watch him die from cancer. Any way it was a fad with him and he stoped smoking about a month later and he has never done it again he is going on 18 now and still does not smoke. Talk to your son and find out why he is smoking. Kids have a mind of thier own and they know that they can get away with a lot of things that we couldent when we were kids so they take advantage of it. If you are being real hard on him for doing "wrong" Maybe he is hiding or scared to tell you things incase you get mad with him, Sit down and talk to your son be his friend and his parent :2 cents:

Call the Local ME's Office and ask if you can bring him down the an autopsy of a smoker. Let him see what it does.

your an idiot.

You are dumber than I thought. I apologize for underestimating you.

I had a nice chunk of leather hanging on my bedroom door. Only had to use it twice. Once for each kid. They have turned out great.

No, I believe YOU'RE the idiot.

Well said. I couldn't agree more.

Your comments would have more bite if you knew how to spell and weren't flying Ron Paul in your sig. Pretty funny, though. Change from one ignorant post to another. Way to edit.

dumbass

that son of a bitch

Here's about my bad parenting skills, I was a stay at home mom most of his life, I took him to all his Hockey, Soccer, Basket ball , even softball games. I was the one routing for him like he was my hero. I live in a great neighborhood, with very lil crime or if any! He also (DOES HAVE DIRT BIKES AND RIDES them with his friends in my back yard) Great kid all around he's suspended for talking to much! Maybe that is stupid, but the need for smoking is stupid! I never did! When you don't know situations then you shouldn't knock someone down when they are asking for help!

Kids look to their parents for guidance, and structure. Give a 12-15 year old the feeling like they're "on their own" and they will be. You may think you're giving them tough love, but they will just learn to make all the decisions themselves. You can't have two people driving the same car. Either you drive it and they learn from you, or you let them drive and end up wherever. If you end up wherever, remember who you let drive there! If you don't have the time, energy blah blah blah to take charge and be responsible, you are indeed the passenger.

They have friends, and you aren't their friend. You are their parent, and the more you accept the challenge and rise to it, the more your kids will look up to you, respect you, consider what you think and take your advice.

More than anything, if you say you're going to do something, you HAVE to follow through. If you don't, then your words are, and will always be: completely meaningless.

you should've thought about it before you got married! You're blaming your kid for smoking? Well just put yourself in his shoes, his parents are divorced and he's only 12 years old. If he had a father he'd be following his steps. I don't think a 12 years old kid is going to listen to his mom at that age, he wants a father for guidance specially for those bad habits (smoking.. etc) . That's my opinion, beeing honest here :)

Ok your last post just confirmed all fears I had.

You are a friend, my dear.

You're quick to defend yourself. How do you know it's not a parenting issue?

I have no idea if it is or isn't, but I know more times than not, it is. It could simply be because you did get a divorce. FYI, there are studies that say that little boys raised without fathers often go through a serious rebellion / trouble phase. This could be the start of his. I went through it for several years. Girls without dads turn into sluts and whores, getting with bad boy after bad boy. That's just the way it is.

Here is what you do if you simply refuse to think you may have an issue with being a parent:

Someone already said it, but make him sit down and smoke packs of cigs in a small room. Let him get sick from it. Let him puke. Feel his lungs burn.

Then ask him why he is smoking and why he is a fuck up. My bet is because his dads not around. Could just be bad friends. Either way, you need to find out.

If you catch him again. Make him smoke a carton of cigs. Then take EVERYTHING away from him and ground him for a few months. After that and he wants to smoke, let him. He already sounds like he is on his way to being a fuck up, 12 years old and suspended from school... maybe it's just his path. Sometimes good parents have fucked up kids.

Seriously Angeline...catch him in the act and make him smoke the whole pack until hes sick

Oh my I'm glad I'm sitting down as I agree with ya.







I'm sorry your other son has Autism. As a parent you have to start teaching them from day one so in a way it is your fault. Don't take that the wrong way.


:)

I'm not sure how to help you, it sounds like you are doing ok to me actually.
I will say that when I was 8 or 9 years old, sometimes I'd run down to the corner store with a note from my mom for some cigarettes. Yeah it was legal back then for anyone of any age to buy cigarettes, the note was just so I didnt forget.

I started smoking when I was 10 or so, and had my first heart attack last year on May 19th. I was 43.

My father smoked a pipe, he died of his first heart attack at 46 in 1979. My mother smoked all of her life, she had her stroke in June of 2004, died in October 2004.

Best of luck to you.

Both of my comments were true old man. Calling a mother names because her kid has some trouble in school make you feel good? Im sure your kids a real assholes because they are raised by an old racist fuck tard. How you like them apples dick head?