Getting Back At Kids
 

Hi,

I have an office suite which is located downstairs in an executive suite complex (so I have a skylight which is on the ground level) and after hours (8-10pm) I have these fucking annoying kids who come and keep knocking on my skylight windows.

I've scared them off before by using my car alarm and by running after them but they keep coming back and annoying the fuck out of me. I need some suggestions on how to get these bastards to stop.

Calling the police for trespassing seems too childish and I can understand their kids, I don't want to fuck up their lives by getting them a record, I just want them to stop. Anybody got some suggestions?

WG

well if they are bugging the shit outta you then either pay some kid to beat the shit out of one or call the cops.

Kill them.

damn..stole my line

Corner them, threaten to rape and murder them and bury them in the woods. All the while rubbing a raging woodie.

The cops will never believe them and I assure you they wont come back.

I thought about that... I once was able to catch one of them as they ran away. Problem is, what do you say/do, I can't hit them or they'll just tell their parents and get the police to come after me.

Then again, they are annoying the fuck out of me here and I would LOVE to hit a few of them. Little kids have a tendency to tell parents though...

Any ways, if I can't find a solution, police it is but it seems like such a harsh thing to do. Sure they're pissing me off, but to the point where I need to get police involved? Seems a bit too extreme.

Send suggestions!

WG

Gay sex. Have gay sex under that skylight. It will scare them right the hell away. No shit.

get some sort of that skunk piss...i think hunters use it for something. But supposedly it smells like shit....pour it all over the skylight and when they bang on it, they are gonna smell like shit and will hopefully stay away.

Well, if people know I'm in the adult business (neighbouring businesses do) then I think those kids could convince cops and land some serious jail time for that!

WG

I'd rather kill them and take the jail time then have gay sex. Besides, I'm in the middle of a business complex, having sex is not that easy to do :-)

WG

That's not a bad idea, I'd rather land that shit on the kids directly though, don't want to scare customers away from where I work :-)

WG

release the hounds..

Come on! Who here hasn't had sex at work...

And yeah, I wouldn't actually have gay sex myself either... So get someone else to do it. Just make sure its right undert he skylight, and that the lighting is good. Maybe get some sound equipment so you can up the volume of their grunting once you see the kids. (Or use a recording of straight sex to tempt them there in the first place.)

Why do you think I want to get rid of them, they are ruining my mojo for having sex under the skylight :-)

I even got the best chair in my office which lets the girl straddle on, but that's a story for another post :-)

WG

Ah. I have the answer.

Get some stage blood, or make some. Get yur girl naked, and have her sit in an akward position in the chair. Splash her with stage blood. Put a knife on the table. Then fuck the living daylights out of her.

Now, the next bit is important. When they start to freak out and run away, you have to have your girl stand up and act really happy and normal and un-stabbed. That way, they are still freaked out, but they don't tell people you killed her. They will just wonder what the fuck happened.

We broke up a long time ago so she may not be willing anymore... Besides that, what will my other office mates think of a blood filled office :-)

WG

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Super Soaker 500 and Piss

Thought you wanted to clear the kids out to get back to your office sex?

As for the blood... Hey, keep your officemates guessing. Be coy about it, don't say anything. Raise your eyebrows at your new girl, preferably leave a little of it on her clothes.... That sort of thing... Create a freaky little mystery.

WAIT!

You are in Canada correct?

Like crosses to a Vampire...


books.

Show them books.

If I had a girl, I wouldn't have so much anger in me all the time :-)

Any hot girls that live in my area want to help relieve some anxiety I'm having, feel free to call me or help me out with my office problems :-)

WG

whitewash the skylight so that it is opaque and they can not see you, the novelty will wear off

I don't own the property, just lease it. Landlord would be in for a nice shock :-)

WG

For Sure, pay some kid 50 bucks to beat the shit out of one or even a couple of them :Buck:

<br><br> another street wise person in the group.

anyone who calls themselves "street wise" is not "street wise" and watches too many cop shows.

<br><br> oh, I forgot. you know everthng.

make an example out of one of them..... shoot em'

I dont think the will bother you any more

How about some ideas that won't land me in jail or will permanently harm them? I mean we all did our thing that annoyed the hell out of someone as a kid, I just want them to bugger off and annoy someone else. Killing, multilating and hurting the kids is out...

WG

Just ignore them
they will eventually go away

just call the cops - give those fuckers a record :)

ok, you're running after them, but then you think it's too childish to call the cops? they probably love the fact they're fucking with you... call the cops and teach the fucks a lesson...

Give the shits a record. You'll be doing them a huge favor. Maybe they'll straighten out instead of being a menace to society in 5 years.

When kids don't have parents, you need to step up and teach the brats the ropes.

Let them do it.

By you chasing them, it basically gives them reason to do it again, for the thrill.

Let them do it, it will get old and they wont do it anymore.

<EDIT>

Reading this post over, i realize what a fucking pussy I sound like.

Kill them.

Are you in the guardian angels?

<br><br> no, but I'm sure you are.

http://www.guardianangels.org/images/times.jpg

The guardian angels aint nothin to fuck with.

<br><br> I'm sure thats you in the center? When did they move times square to chicago?:)

What is the skylight made from?
If it's made from plastic, pour some HCL on it a few hours before they usually come, probably pH 3 will work ok, if you are serious go for pH 1 but keep in mind it is 20 times stronger. It should burn their hands a little but they will recover and wont know what it was (just wash it off with some baking soda and water when they leave) If the skylight is glass, don't do it, it will eat through the glass.

In that case use some sodium peroxide (Na2O2), just put a few pellets on the skylight or near it, you can try adding water but then it will not be as powerful. When they touch it, they will have what looks like little scratches on their hands and it will bother them for a while and it burns. Just wash it off with vinegar and water later. You will be able to get some in a local store in Waterloo or I could mail you some, it is not dangerous when properly sealed.

O yeah, don't forget to wear gloves and long sleeves.

niiiiice

Stun gun
*zzzappp*

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh
thats great shit

I'm afraid to ask, but how do you know so much about this? Hehe, its made of glass. Where can I buy sodium peroxide (or what household material is made from that stuff)? This doesn't sound like a bad idea, especially if its in pellet form, kids will grab it right away and try to figure out what the hell it is. Will it actually iritate their skin right away or does it take time? I'd rather they play with it and rub it all over themselves first and then the pain kicks in.

Let me know, good idea.

WG

Actually, it was the other tenants here who told me about them originally. I've been in this office about 6 weeks and I never noticed them during my working hours, but I've moved to earlier hours and I just started noticing the brats. So if the other tenants are complaining about them and they've been here for over a year, chances are they'll keep coming back.

So far my car alarm idea to scare them has been working and seems to be good since I got lots of other business owners looking at them as they run away when my car starts screaming. Not bad, but they don't learn still.

Either way, they're small so if I really wanted to, I could catch them when I run after them, but what then? I can't really hit them or yell at them? I need ideas!!

WG

This is basic high school chemistry, it's all about applying the concepts. This was meant as a joke, but if you are serious.

Soap contains SODIUM HYDROXIDE but in low concentration. You can get some on ebay if you want, 2 lbs for $10. Try later, they are doing maintenance right now.

It takes a little time to work since it reacts with the moisture of the skin, it's basically corrosive. Please don't take it too far, it's a dangerous chemical and you don't want to cause permanent damage.

When working with it, make sure your gloves are dry. If it reacts with water the fumes might irritate the eyes and cause coughing or make the stomach hurt a little.

If you are bored, take a 1.5 L plastic bottle and fill it with warm or cold water and add a lot of aluminum (pieces of aluminum foil work good) then carefully pour some of this stuff in and avoid inhaling the fumes (so do it outside). The warmer the water you put in the faster the reaction will be, since the water is being split, the bottle will become hotter and may bend but not break. Once you hear gas coming out of the bottle, put a little flame (match size is enough) over the opening (stay 1m away or at least do not look into the bottle) and you will hear a boom and see a nice fireball above the bottle, a hydrogen explosion.

be safe. http://www.jtbaker.com/msds/s4034.htm

Maybe its a little too extreme. I want to scare them, not destroy my office :-)

WG

Fuck just put some anthrax particles on the windows.

Without killing me either :-)

WG

Heh...hide in a tree with a paintball gun :thumbsup

Don't want to kill them but you do want to traumatize them?

Put a large videoscreen outside and play one of Martha Stewart's programs on it. They will run away like there is no tomorrow!