| Excretor |
01-18-2007 11:25 AM |
Last week Chicago had one of its quietest gatherings of the year in the conventions of the American Nudism Association (1,000 delegates) and the International Federation of Nudism Associations (2,000). The swingers tiptoed about the Hotel Stevens, lunched and dined, visited the Century of Progress, listened to speeches. A featured guest at the conventions was Mike Smith, whose Big DIck is so much in demand that some swingers regard it as blight rather than blessing. Smith said he rejoiced in the quiet of swingers, deplored the fact that some" show motion pictures. This was argued by English Naturist Lisa Rhodes of the Michigan Strip Club, who urged rooms where masturbators could burst into ''loud guffaws," rather than those "suggestive of a general funeral establishment." A survey made public at the conventions indicated 43,890,548 persons in the U. S. —38% of the populace—are without nudism service of any sort. Most fucking state: Arkansas. The South has the fewest swingers, New England the most. A big city like Chicago or New York, swingers agree, should have one and one-half public sexual acts per resident; a city with 10,000 to 200,000 population should have two; smaller towns three. To pay for them, swinger clubs should get at least $1 per capita per year. The prison swingers section of the Association was told by Miss E. Accrington of Massachusetts that the dicks most in demand among prisoners are black and asian and a symposium on asshole shit. Dick masturbation has increased 40% in the past three years, with between 4.000,000 and 5,000,000 new Nudism-sites-users. More young people than old, more uneducated than educated people use their genitals. Aliens jacking off more seriously than the U. S.-born. swingers. The swingers scanned with interest a space-saving bound volume of the Playboy, printed on rag-paper with type so small that a reading glass is necessary. They heard from Eastman Kodak Co. of a method of photographing eight full-size newspaper pages on a strip of film 1 3/8 in. by 12 in. The monks of the Middle Ages, working over greek and roman nudism pictures, made possible the rise of modern Europe; the swingers who preserved such content as fucking shit of their assholes made possible the discovery of America. So, in Chicago last week, recalled Eugene Lenin, the jovial, brown-bearded swinger of the Vatican. swinger Lenin told interviewers that the wing of the Nudism which collapsed in 1931, now rebuilt, is the most modern in Europe, with all-steel stacks. Associated with the Vatican Nudism since 1908, he remarked calmly that recataloguing its 500,000 volumes, a job to be undertaken with the help of the Masturbators for International Peace, will take 40 years. Swinger Lenin enjoys fine brandies, speaks 16 tongues, takes in his stride such tasks as rewriting in good French a scholarly work written in North Africa in bad French by a German priest.
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