the new movie "Crank" with Jason Statham
 

just saw it. in the spirit of summer, i decided to forgive him for Transporter 2, the impossibly stupid car stunts and the morbidly retarded fight scene inside a poorly animated plane that is spinning out of control and crashing to the ground at 300 knots... and give him another chance.

i didn't expect much. i just expected a cheesy plot and a few cool fight scenes, people getting shot and shit getting blown up. i thought that was fair on my part.

i think maybe its the fact that i love Snatch and Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels that keeps me holding out false hopes that he might actually one day appear again in a movie that doesn't so completely suck.

what amazed me with this movie was that they figured out how to make a film suck from the very first second of the opening credits (you'll get it if you see it) and then skillfully managed to make sure it sucked even more, every second, frame by shitty frame... right up until the end. they were very careful to highlight and emphasize the sucking with a soundtrack and music that couldn't be farther from complimenting the movie and what was going on. it was about as a appropriate the to scenes as Britney Spears would be to Schindler's List.

in fact, it sucks so bad that you ultimately begin to develop this sort of morbid curiousity and start wanting to watch it just to see how bad the next scene will suck and in a begrudging way, you kinda find yourself beginning to admire the skill it took to make it keep sucking more and more and more ... until the final scene... where you will bear sad witness what might very well be the stupidest ending of any movie ever made.

ouch scathing

i'll go see it

Damn, and I was gonna see it tomorrow night.
WG

1. It's called "Crank"
2. It stars Jason Statham
3. The plot even sounds retarded in the trailer

And you spent money on it? lol dude

dude, that was one of the best reviews I have read in a long time...LOL

I am actually going to send that out to some people, so look for a chain letter with your review in it soon...haha

dam, people said it was good :(

I thought the movie was ok.

Hey PP.. do you live in Washington State bro?

im gonna go see it very soon :)

Not sure about it now.... Statham has had some highs and some lows already. Oh well!

I liked it thought it was diffrent

A few of my mates have said its good, not seen it myself.

don't let that stop you.... go see it... everyone has their own opinion, NEVER not go see a movie just because someone else didn't like it :2 cents:

I'd go see it on a lame Sundayy

heard it was good.. imdb rating is also above average

Damb! I was going to see it too.....Now I'll pass!

I agree that Transporter 2 sucked the big one. But I would argue that Transporter 1 was the most under-rated action movie of all time.

Crank was funny as shit... laughed my ass off

well i think that siskel and edbert would be proud... but as usuall ill wait till the dvd !!!!!!

I saw it yesterday and liked the movie a lot. It's not something you go see if you expect realistic dialogue. You go to it to be entertained. The scene on the newspaper stand made me laugh and also turned me on a little.

It's different, very different. But that's nice for a change.

I loved it, ludacris and cheesy fun :)

I agree with you 100%
This has to be the absolute worst movie I have ever sat through in a theatre. It was that bad.

Snatch & Lock Stock, where his 2 best movies tho.. they were AWSOME

Transporter 2 was a masterpiece compared to Crank. I pretty much have loved all of his movies till now. Even Italian Job was good.

i can understand that people like Donny can say "its just entertainment, i liked it" - Jeffrey Dahmer could have argued that picking up queer asian boys, taking them home, raping and eating them was "just entertainment" also. doesn't make it right.

in terms of production, script, dialogue, acting, directing, camera work, musical scoring etc.... it was like some sort of contest from bizarro world to see how shitty they could make it. it was just terrible. not terrible in the usual way like "i didn't like it because.. [insert 1 rational reason here]" - terrible in an "oh my fucking god, i think the opening credits are already so fucking dumb, that the guy three seats away just started convulsing and lost consciousness due to the realization that we are about to sit through one of the stupidest movies to ever make it into a theater"

i would rather rather go to a hospital everyday for the rest of my life, getting a biopsy on a possibly cacerous skin growth and have the docter looking sad and dissapointed while he nervously held the results in his hands ... beating around the bush for 2 hrs before telling me the results are negative, than sit through that movie again.



I thought Talledega Nights was surprisingly funny. I watched it twice. I expected a mostly awkward, often uncomfortable and kinda weird type of humor like Anchorman mixed with a few memorable scenes, but actually, the whole movie was very funny from start to finish if you like Will Farrel.

thanks for the review

Yeah, i live in Bellevue. :)

Yep this movie is good piece of shit

I'm going to see it at the dollar theaters.

you're a fucking retard if you didn't like this movie, go watch your Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter movies.

CRANK is amazing, if you want to see an action movie that's funny go see it.

your right. i have changed my mind. you have made me see the light. let me expand on what you wrote... because i realized that there is in fact a target market for this type of crap.


"CRANK is amazing, if you want to see an action movie that appeals to the maturity and intellectual levels of a group of low functioning, autistic 12yr olds, go see it"

Crank lost me from the moment he started trying to shove cocaine up his nose off the bathroom floor lol

lol...nice one:thumbsup :thumbsup :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

I think i am going to see this again tonight, JUST for the cocaine scene. The whole theatre couldn't stop laughing during that scene, man that was funny shit.

I just watched it and I actually liked it. A lot was unbelievable and extreme but it was funny and constant action. Up to par with other Jason Stratham movies (they all have a certain style thats different than most action movies).
WG

will come to cinema soon,and i will check it for sure

I saw it last night and thought it was ok. I'm not so sure about the ending though.

So...are you recommending it, or not? I mean, does it suck so much that I should see it to see how much it sucks, or it sucks enough to make it really bad, but not enough to go to see the wreckage?? Just checking.

I seen it it's weak and somewhat lame

i would say its ok to watch if you have extremely low expectations :)
but the trailers are not a fair representation of the film and make it look more serious and better than it is.