Oxymorons...
 

Oxymorons....

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

DH

I thought you were going to comment on the idiots that are hooked on oxy's....lol

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

lol.....the best one

Oh and I am sure there are a few

DH

Great list! LOL

Those are great

nice list dude.... paste some more ;)

Three of my favorites...

Why do tornados always strike trailer parks?
United Nations Forces
Military Intelligence

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

LOL

:1orglaugh Good shit

hahaha, great, man, some are really great, thanks for sharing! :)

The Irony is that there is not really a true oxymoron of the list...

an oxymoron are conjoined words that have opposite or a contradictory meaning

for example: Jumbo Shrimp or Defeaning Silence

I would say the above are more Seinfeldisms....

Heterosexual Marine is another one I believe.

:winkwink:

:) some good stuff there!

Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

says the man spitting teeth :winkwink:

any movement on the video trade?

We are still reeling from Vegas Brent...

I promise you we will get something going on some front. I have this Motocross film that has been looming forever and once we get some breathing room it is definitely a vehicle I would like to use for the band and a music video for the bonus section

i like Mark too much to have pointed this out..hehe

Brent...

With our deep interest in the alt genre could you please send another package to the following

D. Rosenfeld
Hustler Video
8484 Wilshire
Beverly Hills CA 90211

Per Jim blah blah blah

I called him and he is expecting it

he is the man who handles music etc

I like Mark...

I was just contributiong to the thread...

:Oh crap

That's Great Jim...thx

I was talking about the motoxxx though.

this is also what what I know about oxymoron. other examples are:
- open secret
- Adult male
- baby giant

...and others

Why is it called a building when it's not in the process? (built??)

Microsoft Works.

same guy its a joint ven with me and LFP

MotoXXX is a proj with me and Dave they will dist i still need to finish the final edit here......

sorry left that out

It seems greaahopper that you have come a long way in your life. Now just tell me the difference between a bicycle, and you can walk the path of the gods!

sounds good. just lmk when you guys are ready.

:thumbsup

silent cry
virtual reality

hehe

why a driveway...you park there
parkway is something you drive on as well..lol

and dont most freeways have a toll?

Haha

Nice post! :thumbsup

Some of those are great.

Yeah and "Why do we call it "fast food," its not like it's going anywhere?"
Great thread

If nothing sticks to teflon how do they make teflon stick to a pan :eek7

used to have nickname hotice

Very valid points that I have no answers for.

Did you have the drive on a parkway and park in a driveway in there too?