Best Sexual Positions
 

Okay, came across this one:

Pterodactyl, The (noun)
In the doggie style position, a man inserts his penis and places the heels of his hands together on the woman's pelvis and procedes to straighten his arms thus lifting himself off the ground. While suspended, he spreads his legs apart into a split-like (spread eagle) fashion. The man then waves his legs up and down as if they are wings and makes loud shreeeeeking bird calls. The movement of his legs causes his penis to reciprocate in and out of the vaginal cavity, also creating the image of the prehistoric bird-like dinosaur the Pterodactyl.

Do you have some good ones?

boys have a penis and girls have a vagina

The best!!!

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

I love Romance.......

Mr. Romance

Jumpstart (verb, noun)
1. (v.) Penetrating a woman vaginally who wants to have sex, but is not fully lubricated.
2. (n.) The act or instance of this sort of sex. A loving , "Don't worry, you'll get wet," is the ideal thing for the man or woman to say upon insertion of the penis or strap-on dildo. This usually results in the typical, broken dam response.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh

lolololololo

Kentucky Pile Drive (noun)
The sexual act of having intercourse in the doggie style position on a hard surface while both partners are on thier knees, and the female is on all 4's. Right before ejaculation, the male hits her arms out from under neither her and she smashes her head into the ground, usually resulting in a chiped tooth.

if your just lookingo for some great christmas ideas to spruce up your hooker highlights be sure to check out some of these positions.
http://www.sexualpositionsfree.com/crazupsquat.html

The Flying Camel - A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a coyote. Strictly a class move.

hehe we call the Kentucky pile drive the snowmobile in MN...
Snowmobile: Always a blast. When getting a girl while she's
on all fours, sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.

C###############D (|.|)

Where's that vidclip of the little asian dude doin' the propeller position?

Pterodactyl is tuff to do in the back seat

Any one that makes me blow the load. :pimp

Webmasters don't have sex.

Okay, maybe i am just wrong in the head.....lol

This shit is funny:
Kite Game, The (noun)
You get a loads of mates together who are up for a laugh, find a ginger girl, everyone has to fuck her without a condom, nine months later when she's given birth you have a DNA test and the father of the baby wins a kite.

I forgot, it is against their religion........

yo mang here is some little dolls showin that position.
http://www.sexualpositionsfree.com/turposthreey.html

I cant belive no one has mentioned the Dirty Sanchez or the Bismark....
Always a family favorite.
:)

i gotta try taht at home

San Jose Slugger (noun)
Drug a midget (or little person) and position him or her to swing into the doorway once a person opens the door. After the foreplay, tell your partner you want to take the party (in the other room). Let them lead, and once they open the door and get struck by the knocked out midget, you pull your partner's pants down and begin banging her ass. The combo of an upside midget face and you banging her ass will knock her out, making your job easier.

The BEST sexual positions are ANY that have Tina in them.

He he

;-)

I like doing the wind mill! That shit is fun!

Lololololol

You are too good to me......xo

That is too funny!

I just love you to death jman!

Here is exfoliation:

Sandy Pelican (noun)
When you're screwing a chick on the beach, pull out and rub your dick in the sand, then plunge it back in.

Tada!!!!
 

Toboggan


Toboggan (verb)
When having sex at the top of the stairs doggy style, you grab the female's arms and ride her down the stairs.

69 the best!

After tht we could do this:

Snowmobile, The (noun)
While having sex in the doggystyle position at the top of a flight of stairs, upon ejaculation you knock her front arms out from under her and then procede to ride her back down the stairway.

Umm female? :1orglaugh

LOL oops! Typo!

I honestly think the best postition would include looking straight into Tina's eyes...

Oui Oui!!!!

David Blaine (noun)
When you are hitting it from behind, girl bent over the edge of the bed, couch, or sedan hood, you lean forward and lift your legs off the ground and put your hands in the air, like you're levitating! Extra points if you can spin around for at least one revolution.

Yes except she keeps them closed.... Umm so I have heard :pimp

fucking spinners

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW My Jman, happy happy birthday again, make sure sleazy gives you a big kiss from me......xo

Ummmm, what fun is that? They are only closed if the persons sweat drops down into my eye, had that happen actually not too long ago.....LOL...note to self, bring towel next time I fuck him again.,

Donald Trump (noun)
While getting a blow job standing up, the man pulls out cums in his hand and slaps the cum on the girls head and gives the girl a comb over like Donald Trump. The girl will most certainly ask why the man did it. He replies with "Your fired!" with the Donald Trump voice. Perfect break up sex act.

Glassterbating (verb)
A term for when a person presses their genitalia against a glass table or a clear glass shower door while their partner masterbates under the table or on the other side of the door. Also known as the Window Washer. A known variation includes the Soft Serve.

The Rodeo

Start from the doggy style position, grab your girlfriend's arms and pull back on them. So she'll have her arms spread out wide and you're hanging onto her wrists supporting her weight. Once you have her in the position, fuck her as hard as possible, say "Your sister was a lot better last night", and then try to hang on.

Caution: potentially violent outcome

The Houdini

When hitting her from behind, pull out just as you're about to come...spit on her back, just above her ass, to make her think you just splooged all over, then when she turns around, shoot it all in her face.

Angry Dragon: when recieving oral sex, just after ejaculating in the girls mouth, you grab her by the sides of her head and shake vigorously until it foams/runs out of her nose

:1orglaugh

69, 69, 69!

I *WISH* babe, I wish !

:winkwink: :winkwink:

this thread is making me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants... you guys are crazy...