How would you deal with something like this? (relationship situation)
 

I've been w/ my gf for 3 years now, and we kinda did what some couples do n' really stop hangin out w/ their friends from like 100% of the time down to 5%... All of her friends were guys, because aside from her 2 sisters, she grew up around guys cause her cousins / neighbors were all guys etc... so she's never been able to relate w/ girls too much.

Well recently she's been getting sick of our "routine" and one of her old guy friends called her up recently. Now this particular guy is one she happened to mention of something like this before, "Well ask all of the girl's in Warren what they think of him" (referring to him being attractive) -- that irked me at the time but later on she told me she only said it to get me mad... She also dated him when they were young like 13 yrs old, so obviously what she said had some basis behind it.

So he got in contact w/ her and they hung out recently, that didn't really bother me all that much cause I understand old friends get together from time to time to "catch up"... But now she's hanging out with him more consistently like a couple times a week n' she swears it's just because she has no other friends and it's nice to be able to do something "else" (because we're with each other every day).

Now here is the problem... Aside from lifting partners I really don't go out and socialize with people (most of my friends have been away for several years at college)... So having been through the same routine, for these three years, and NOW dealing with this change (however small it may seem) - psychologically it feels like a big change. I'm sitting at home when I'd like to be with her, when she's "hanging out" with her friends (well, friend - that particular guy)... So having the time to myself, I naturally begin to ....THINK, which is bad, because then I end up materializing scenarios based on the shit i know of this particular guy and get myself wound up, and lately it has made me pretty irritable. I try to not think about it by running miles on end and lifting hard, but that is just a temporary fix.

She's 18 and I'm basically the only guy she has been with (I'm 21) - A lot of people say you should never carry on a serious relationship in hopes of marriage when one or the other has never been with anyone else -- I personally think that is bullshit. In these 3 years she has also never cheated on me and I know she never will.

So keeping in mind that you know you can't take the route of being the "CONTROLLING BOYFRIEND" (because I would never do that), how would you react/feel in a situation like this? I want to know if how I'm feeling is result of my own ignorance and/or insecurities, or if this is something that would bother most other guys as well.

(sorry, I tried to keep it short ;))

dont take this as a slam to you , but she is fucking her "man" friend

I think for a healthy relationship you each need your own friends and your own life. But I wouldn't be too crazy about her hanging out with an ex.

Guys will very rarely invest time on a girl unless they want pussy.

After three years of dating and over 6000 posts your girlfriend must know about GFY. Is she is going to read this?

Good luck with her.

I'm sure that was comforting.. LOL.

I'd maybe suggest that to her that you're lonely when she's out and not around and that you'd like to hang out with her, but you don't want to stop her from having friends, so maybe suggest everyone hanging out together; I don't imagine she'd have a problem with that..

Matt

Yep.
she is more then friends with him
Get out more
You're 21 ..find another sweet scrunt out there

Well, I'm certainly not a guy, but I've been married for 19 years and I can tell you that what you are feeling is perfectly normal, it's human nature. Why are you sitting at home by yourself? Why haven't they invited you to hang out with them? There should be no reason not to include you unless she is tired of you and not just the routine....

:2 cents:

She is cheating on you now, don't be naive. She is bored with you and wants something new, sorry to have to break it to you but I would put everything I own on it.

haha, yeah she does... I don't mind if she reads it.

She's absolutely doing him. I hate to say it...

She probably "went out" with him when she was 13 and she thought he was cute, etc... but this is what girls do later on when they've finally done it. The minute they do it with a guy for the first time, it is a quest to screw that guy way back when that they thought was so cute.... Now that she knows what she's doing and she knows it would be a fun ass time.

I'm a girl I know how we think... sorry bud. I'd have her followed just one night. It'll cost you about 5-700 bucks :) and you'll quickly know whatever you need to know so you can just move on.

I think it depends on if they have similar/common interests or not. Though an ex- from the age of 13, and she's now 18.. I don't imagine it would have a huge impact, other than knowing that she found something interesting in the guy when she was 13.

Matt

Cheater :pimp

Chicks are sneaky. What more proof do you need aside from this post? :1orglaugh

hmm this one is tough to call

Call this guy up and invite him over for dinner. Then you can see how the two react before jumping to any conclusions. If they have something to hide it will be pretty obvious.

The ideal relationship should consist of time for you, time for her and time together. I can understand what you're going through. This is mainly your insecurities doing the talking, but from past personal experience my gut feeling has always been right. She may be feeling the need to go out and experience life outside of you, she might even be getting bored... who knows. I think a one on one talk with her is in order. Tell her to be honest and don't over react.

Yeah, if they wont have dinner with you have her followed. then you know for sure.

lol. like i said in my original post, I'm not worried of her cheating on me. I 100% know she wouldn't. She would tell me first if she were going to do something. She is the most stand up person a guy could ever meet. Not all women are alike.

Sit down with her and tell her how you are feeling, you may to find out what is up
but I doubt it.
She maybe cheating on you. 1 of my ex wifes did the same thing, turned out she was cheating.

:( When i was in early 20's ithought the same till i had my heart broken :(

Dude your 21 your a young buck.....

Bang as much as you can for the next few years.

If you don't think she's cheating then what's the point of this thread? You have nothing to worry about. She should have other friends, so should you. Go find somebody to jam with.

I don't care what anyone says. Everyone says to their significant other "Blah blah blah I would tell you first if I got the urge to get it on with someone else" and that is total and complete BS... come onnnnnn!

Like they're hanging out at a park watching the sunset.. they start to gaze into each others eyes after laughing hysterically at a corny joke... they drift towards each other and they're about to kiss when suddenly she stops herself and says "WAIT I gotta tell my boyfriend about this urge I'm having right now so I can save our relationship!"

she s 18 and probaly wants some new excitment. If you two break up she'll have him on call or allready does. I think thats normal what your feeling

That scenario is precisely why cell phones were created.

Yeah if she wasnt even decent enough to invite you, shes fucking him.. Dump the bitch now!

Haha come to think of it, that would make a killer Verizon advertisement. "Can you forgive me now" "Can you forgive me now"

Dude come to San Diego show , Ill buy you some "Romance" when you get back you wont want her anymore.

Get a fucking life, 21 and you just sit around with your boring ass whore gf? Damn man, get some fucking friends.

:1orglaugh :thumbsup

I've been in your shoes and it's rough. After nearly 4 years together (we're both 22), my girlfriend felt she needed to make more friends and new friends. And I was stuck home alone twiddling my thumbs. We soon broke up after that.

We had always discussed loyalty and we both felt it was the key to a healthy relationship. We always agreed that if we ever felt the need/urge to be with other people, we'd break it off first to avoid some of the pain. I later found out that shortly before our break up, she had cheated on me. She hadn't fucked the other guy, but it still hurt.

I thought I knew her. I was 100% confident she'd never cheat on me. When we broke up, people started saying it was likely that she had cheated and I basically told them to fuck off. Turns out they were right.

You're buying me dinner if Verizon offers you a contract...

Yeah, I gotta agree with everyone else...
If you're a good match with her, then you should be a good match with her friends, so why don't the three of you hang out?
... if she doesn't want it, then you have to ask yourself why..
especially when it's a few times a week.....

It doesn't look good man, but probably best way is to either discuss this with her, or have her followed like someone else said...

tell her you want to go hang out with the two, even if you dont. if she wont let you go shes got something going on with him. why else wouldnt she want her boyfriend there if the guys just a friend?

I don't know about your girlfriend, but being a guy I can say that I think this is true for a lot of us :)

she's 18. She's fucking him or at least working up to it. Trust me.... 18 year olds change their minds about their own morals pretty quickly.

I cant believe the fucking advice in this thread; go hang out with the both of them, etc. WTF is that? Dude listen seriously, you need to nip that shit in the bud right now. This is exactly how nice guys finish last. You are 100% sure she would never cheat? If you believe that then you deserve whats about to happen. Whether she is cheating right now or not is not even the issue. The issue is when a guy and a girl start spending time together chances are good they will start to develop feelings, do you really want to play russian roulette with your woman?

You need to tell her she needs to stop seeing him because you're not comfortable with it. If she wants to argue about it then you know she has feelings for him and something is up. If she cares about you and respects you she will understand. If you don't do this you WILL be made a fool of and will be setting yourself up for many months of pain.

My advice----
Go get a life of your own. Start going out with your own friends, start doing things, get your ass out of the house instead of as you said... "having too much time to THINK"
Enough with the sitting and thinking, time to act.

One of two things will happen.... Either she'll eventually become curious about what you're doing and she'll start to miss you, in which case she'll start wanting to be around you more.
Or.... she will move forward with... whatever it is she's doing already.

The last thing I would do is hand her ultimatums or try to weasel your way in to her time with "friends".... that would most likely annoy the shit out of her. I advise you to get yourself busy and start going out more, without her. See how she likes it. If it's meant to be, she'll come around.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

muhaha nice one :thumbsup

http://www.jacneed.com/CAMELOT/Produ...s/Cheaters.jpg

sorry dude

I'm rooting for you Gary :)

Every young man felt this way about a girl at one point, and then he was forced to grow up.

Ignore everything else and think about this for a minute. she hasnt nor will she cheat on you so you think. Who cares if she has male/female friends and goes out with them every now and then.


There is a reasonable limit to the amount of time someone should spend with someone else. There is a difference in once and a while vs. a few times a week. If you want to talk to her about it just say something like "I dont mind you spending time with your friends but dont you think you've been spending a little too much time with this one guy?" This way you dont come off as a jealous/possessive BF, shes still allowed to spend time with friends and but gets the hint that you might have a problem with the amount of time spent with him.

You can "test" her out... what i would do is not try to initiate sex with her for a while and see how long it takes before she comes to you for sex. Chances are if shes fucking someone else shes not going to be as interested in sex as she once was.

Quite honestly, i would have a problem with my GF spending THAT much time with an ex boyfriend.

Gary, I'm really sorry for what happened. I hope it wont ruin our friendship. :(

Be afraid, be very afraid. Either your girlfriend is cheating in which case you're fucked, or you're worried about her cheating in which case....you're fucked. Either of the two is going to provide lots of arguments along the way.

Call 1-800-CHEATERS

They'll get to the bottom of it.

that's true - we often come up with other excuses but at the end of the day all we are looking for is pussy

sorry mate but ask yourself this, how many hot girlfriends do you have that you don't wanna fuck?

I feel like 2pac fucking Biggie's wife

How mature. Grow the fuck up pansy.

Galleryseek, how can you be so sure she's not cheating on you? Many people have said : "No my gf would never cheat on me" but they needed to withdraw that statement later on when they found out something did happen.

Good luck with it dude.