Entertain Me
 

Spam me with funny url's. I'm bored, I was suppoosed to get fucked tonight, but some idiot screwed up my plans.

So hit me.

Show us your tits first!

concurred!

Um.. dude you are a virgin, dont kid yourself. And its not your boyfriends fault that you didnt get "fucked"

http://www.parasite.tv/trailers/uglywoman.jpg

there ya go. Now send over some urls.

Q. What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A. A cherry float.

Q. What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
A. BEAT IT - we're closed.

Q. What's the difference between sin and shame?
A. It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

Q. What's the speed limit of sex?
A. 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

Q. What's another name for pickled bread?
A. Dill-dough.

Q. What's the difference between light and hard?
A. You can sleep with a light on.

Q. Why is sex like a bridge game?
A. You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.



Source : thehun.net

Q. Why is air a lot like sex?

A. Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

How dare he!

Actually no, its not his fault, its the fault of the idiot who was supposed to answer the fucking phone, while i was busy. Boyfriends phone is fuct so he had to call from a payphone and the stupid fuck who i placed in charge of the simple operation of answering my phone just stared at while it rang.

fucking dumbass.

Are you 13?

hey slim wassup!

umm.. dr dre, i appreciate your effort but those joked sucked ass. lol.

Actually im 12 but turning 13 next month. What's it to ya?

Yo dude! Maybe the guy in charge of answering the phone sabotaged the whole operation to fuck u! Did u think of that?

come on boys, hit me up, that emo shit was hilarious from earlier today...

goddam it im pissed, you know what i mean, you look forward to going out, getting fucked and then nada. brutal.

You need a good rump fuck..:glugglug

So stop ya bitching and fuck yourself instead!

PS Do you do anal?

i told the dude, i said, "answer my phone when it rings, its an important call.."

he says, "sure, i think i can do that."

then he tells me the phone rang and he didnt answer it. what a fucking idiot. man i need my fucking sex, its been like 3 days now.

:feels-hot

fuck that, i dont wanna rub one off, i want some hardcore, sweaty, mean ass rock and roll sex goddam it!

U need a drilldo!

to danko jones!

This whore posted her tits ages ago, it's in an old thread somewhere... she had a good rack too.

I think you need Elvis...lol

not into the vibrators, the noise is too distracting. im an old fashioned girl with simple needs; spankings and candle wax, hehehe.

:Graucho

Look at this fucker, probably 5'6, 350 pounds of pure webmaster flabbliness, has the fucking balls to call me a whore, not everybody follows in your momma's footsteps boy.

So hire an escort and keep 'pimping' ... while your at it, have your momma give me a call, her farm site isnt converting and i want my 50 cents back. biatch.

ps: thanks, i do have a nice rack.

Prove it

Don't get so defensive, there's nothing wrong with being a whore... I'm sure it's a fine longstanding tradition in your family.

*gets the popcorn out*

ParasiteTV has a sharp tongue..seen that in Vegas :thumbsup

what the fuck do you know about long or standing with that shriveled cock of yours.

makes you feel better huh, makes you feel cool, when you try to insult women you could never fuck.

next.

DISCLAIMER: I'm bored, and drama is the next best thing. Good dissing is a sport. Let's play.

Sexy :thumbsup

the king has left the building.

Now hit me up with some of those funny urls...

or ya know what... lets exchange stories. i wanna hear the worst or most embarrasing sexual experience you've ever had...

this can be entertaining.

You start.

heres mine:

right, so i go out with some dude on a date. he wasnt that hot, but hey, everyone could use backseat bitch sometimes...

so we go to this martini bar, and i start pounding em back, with my vodka goggles on and fastened, we head out to the park.

so we start making out etc etc, and i got to unbotton his pants.

well...

motherfucker had a dick so small i needed a pair of tweezers and straw to maneuver that thing.

so i just look at it.
he looks at me.
we look at each other.

and i tell him to drive me home. fuck that. or better yet, no way im fucking that. lol.

You promised me you would never tell that story again :(

heheh, my daddy called. hes coming ova. yee fucking haw.

:Graucho

sorry slim, i had to tell...

your turn.

I rarely have sex, so I really dont have any stories to tell

You like to fuck your Daddy?

Well you know what they say... KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY!

yee haw...Ride him like a little cow girl!:glugglug

Whore..I lost all respect for you now :(

where are the attention whore pics :helpme

:1orglaugh