A man dies and appears at the Pearly Gates....
 

"Have you ever done a good deed?" asks St. Peter.

"Sure, one time I came across a gang of bikers who were threatening a womain. I walked up to the leader, punched him in the face, kicked over his bike and told him 'You leave her alone or you'll answer to me.'"

"That was brave of you," says St. Peter. "When did this happen?"

"About 20 seconds ago."

:1orglaugh

:) :1orglaugh :(

A bald man walking down the street with two rabbits on his head is stopped by another...

He asks... Do you know you have two rabbits on your head?

The man replies... Yes, but from far away they look like hares.

:Graucho

3 Nuns die instantly in a car crash and appear at the pearly gates.

The first one talks to St. Peter and he says 'well of course you can enter but first you must rinse any parts of your body that touched a mans penis in the Holy water'

The Nun looks ashamed and goes to rinse off her hand.

Suddenly a fight breaks out between the other two Nuns.

'Sisters, sisters what is the trouble here?' Asks St. Peter

Well says one Nun ' I'm not using that as mouthwash after she's rinsed out her ass.' :)