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-   -   Do Smokers know how bad they stink? (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=51057)

Exxxotica 02-16-2002 12:08 AM

Do Smokers know how bad they stink?
 
Well do they? It's the most disgusting smell, and it stays on their clothes, their hair, and on their breath.

Tonight at a restraunt, this guys cigeratte smoke was bugging the fuck out of me. I would have told him to put it out, but he was in the smoking section, and had the right to be there. I hate how the smoke travels to the nonsmoking section.

So instead, I walked past his table and ripped the nastiest fart. It was right his girlfriends face. At first they were just supprised. They both had bewildered looks on their faces. After a few seconds when the shock wore off, the guy was very angry at me.

He started swearing and yelling at me, calling me a names. I really didnt listen, I was just very proud of what I had just done. I paid him no attention as I left the restraunt.

Driving home, I felt sort of bad. Was that wrong of me to do? Farts may smell as bad as cigerettes, but at least they wont kill ya.

spacedog 02-16-2002 12:11 AM

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Funny as hell...

kmanrox 02-16-2002 12:15 AM

smokers are the scum of the earth... weed is the only tolerable smoke....

smokers WREAK!

Wiredoctor 02-16-2002 12:19 AM

Exxxotica, you said "Farts may smell as bad as cigerettes, but at least they wont kill ya."

I don't know about that, I've done some serious damage before in that area......LOLOL:mad:

Frank W 02-16-2002 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by kmanrox
smokers are the scum of the earth... weed is the only tolerable smoke....

smokers WREAK!

:thumbsup

GotGauge 02-16-2002 12:26 AM

Walk up to a Smoking table and ask
"is this a Farting section?" and let one rip.....

spacedog 02-16-2002 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by GotGauge
Walk up to a Smoking table and ask
"is this a Farting section?" and let one rip.....


HAHAHA:1orglaugh

theWatsonian 02-16-2002 12:29 AM

One of my favorite quotes from Tom Robbins' Still Life With Woodpecker:

"Three of the four elements are shared by all creatures, but fire was a gift to humans alone. Smoking cigarettes is as intimate as we can become with fire without immediate excrutiation. Every smoker is an embodiment of Prometheus, stealing fire from the gods and bringing it on back home. We smoke to capture the power of the sun, to pacify Hell, to identify with the primordial spark, to feed on the marrow of the volcano. It's not the tobacco we're after but the fire. When we smoke, we are performing a version of the fire dance, a ritual as ancient as lightening."

SNOW 02-16-2002 12:35 AM

OH MY GOD LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLl Fucking FUNNY

kmanrox 02-16-2002 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by GotGauge
Walk up to a Smoking table and ask
"is this a Farting section?" and let one rip.....

not fair, that is a spinoff of the original post :winkwink:

kmanrox 02-16-2002 12:44 AM

happy 2000 snow

Trenton 02-16-2002 12:46 AM

Being it's Friday, me and my girl went out to dinner tonight. Afterwards, I lit a cigeratte to settle my meal. There is nothing like a good smoke after a great meal.

While I was smoking, I noticed this faggot looking guy sitting at a booth with his boyfriend. He kept staring at me. It made me really uncomfortable to have this faggot eyeing me.

After a minute or so, he got up and came toward our table. As he passed our table, he lifted his fairy ass in the air and mumbled somthing I couldnt understand.

I was sort of confused at first. I wasnt sure if this dude was trying to hit on my by showing me his ass or somthing. A few seconds later I realized what he had done. He fucker let a fart by our table. I guess we just couldnt hear it because of his streched out asshole.

I jumped up after him yelling "come here you son of a bitch". The guy was so fucking scared of me, that actually ran out of the restraunt.

Ted 02-16-2002 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Exxxotica
Well do they? It's the most disgusting smell, and it stays on their clothes, their hair, and on their breath.


I've heard that some girls can taste it when they swallow. I've never had any complaints though

BlackJack 02-16-2002 01:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Trenton
Being it's Friday, me and my girl went out to dinner tonight. Afterwards, I lit a cigeratte to settle my meal. There is nothing like a good smoke after a great meal.

While I was smoking, I noticed this faggot looking guy sitting at a booth with his boyfriend. He kept staring at me. It made me really uncomfortable to have this faggot eyeing me.

After a minute or so, he got up and came toward our table. As he passed our table, he lifted his fairy ass in the air and mumbled somthing I couldnt understand.

I was sort of confused at first. I wasnt sure if this dude was trying to hit on my by showing me his ass or somthing. A few seconds later I realized what he had done. He fucker let a fart by our table. I guess we just couldnt hear it because of his streched out asshole.

I jumped up after him yelling "come here you son of a bitch". The guy was so fucking scared of me, that actually ran out of the restraunt.

LOL!

Squishy 02-16-2002 01:34 AM

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Jakke PNG 02-16-2002 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Exxxotica
I was just very proud of what I had just done.
You should be proud too!:thumbsup

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Wizzo 02-16-2002 08:15 AM

But at least they don't whine as much....:winkwink:

Amputate Your Head 02-16-2002 09:52 AM

I wanna start charging the whiney non-smokers to breathe my 2nd hand smoke... you didn't pay for that shit, I did.... yet you think you can just breathe it in for free huh? In fact, they should make you fuckers wear bio masks when you're around smokers to make absolutely sure you don't get any of it for free.:smokin

cck 02-16-2002 09:57 AM

You do the right thing man ! :Graucho

Pathfinder 02-16-2002 10:10 AM

Guys what is worse; the smell of cigarette smoke or the cheap stinking perfume that many women douse themselves with?

Forest 02-16-2002 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by GotGauge
Walk up to a Smoking table and ask
"is this a Farting section?" and let one rip.....

thats an old steve martin joke

Excuse me Do u mind if I smoke?

No do you ind if I Fart???

hahahahahahah

Thanks for the memory Got!!!

:1orglaugh

DialerNET 02-16-2002 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pathfinder
Guys what is worse; the smell of cigarette smoke or the cheap stinking perfume that many women douse themselves with?
Smoke.. Easy.
Even cheap perfume smells reasonably decent. Plus is doesn't set off my girlfriends asthma.

Jason.

Amputate Your Head 02-16-2002 10:25 AM

but it's falling on deaf ears. The whiney non-smokers are the only one's bitching because smokers either enjoy the smell of the smoke, or can't smell it at all. I personally happen to enjoy my smokes, which may be either cigarettes or cigars, and that means all of the entire smoking experience... the taste... the smell.... and the pleasing aggravation it causes in uptight non-smoking fanatics. :smokin

kmanrox 02-16-2002 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
I wanna start charging the whiney non-smokers to breathe my 2nd hand smoke... you didn't pay for that shit, I did.... yet you think you can just breathe it in for free huh? In fact, they should make you fuckers wear bio masks when you're around smokers to make absolutely sure you don't get any of it for free.:smokin
amp your mental capacity is diminishing by the puff....

:thumbsup

Amputate Your Head 02-16-2002 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by kmanrox


amp your mental capacity is diminishing by the puff....

:thumbsup

that's okay though.... long as my blood is full of nicotine, I don't care... :smokin

Sleepy 02-16-2002 11:50 AM

I just want to thank you all for holding your breathe while I smoke.

Nothing is as much fun as having the security guy at k-mart tell me to put my cig out and then me grinding it into their carpet and walking away.

BTW, you are all so full of shit with your farting stories.. lol .. you wish you had the balls.

Dice TGP 02-16-2002 07:14 PM

kmanrox and Exxxotica, you guys can go to hell. Smoking is legal, if smoke bothers you than go to a restaurant with no smoking or eat at home. Fuck maybe the smell of your cologne bothers me, but hey it's none of my business. You have rights, so do I, that's life. If what I do bothers you, it's up to you to stay away from me, not vice versa.

Exxxotica if you're ever going to fart in my gf's face because I'm smoking, I'd reccomend calling the ambulance in advance.



"smokers are the scum of the earth... weed is the only tolerable smoke.... "

kmanrox, yeah smokers are worse than terrorists and pedophiles. LOL, that's a pretty typical whiny non-smoking bitch comment. You like weed but not tabacco, so you're the guy who decides what's acceptible....???? yeah that makes sense.

Kat - Fast 02-16-2002 07:24 PM

Cigarette smoke is less than 1% of the pollution in the atmosphere.
Stop driving those stupid fucking cars and buses around and I'll "think" about not smoking near you...

A drink is too wet without one ;)

bhutocracy 02-16-2002 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by theWatsonian
One of my favorite quotes from Tom Robbins' Still Life With Woodpecker:

"Three of the four elements are shared by all creatures, but fire was a gift to humans alone. Smoking cigarettes is as intimate as we can become with fire without immediate excrutiation. Every smoker is an embodiment of Prometheus, stealing fire from the gods and bringing it on back home. We smoke to capture the power of the sun, to pacify Hell, to identify with the primordial spark, to feed on the marrow of the volcano. It's not the tobacco we're after but the fire. When we smoke, we are performing a version of the fire dance, a ritual as ancient as lightening."

OR they're just nicotine pussies not able to quit :)

bhutocracy 02-16-2002 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dice TGP
You like weed but not tabacco, so you're the guy who decides what's acceptible....???? yeah that makes sense.
well thing is cigarettes are only good once you're addicted :)

burn 02-16-2002 08:03 PM

Did you know if everything stoped running for one day the air would become 100% pollution free?

Dice TGP 02-16-2002 08:06 PM

bhutocracy, that's your opinion, I liked my first one.

Sleepy 02-16-2002 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bhutocracy


well thing is cigarettes are only good once you're addicted :)


bhutocracy, you are always too neutral and friendly. Someday Im gonna pick a fight with your aussie ass just to see what your made of :Graucho or buy you some REAL beer :winkwink:

Amputate Your Head 02-16-2002 08:07 PM

Until the day comes when they not only ban smoking off the face of the Earth, but also stop the growing of it worldwide, the non-smoking whiners can all kiss my nicotine stained ass. You can bitch about it until the fucking cows come home... and I'll be smoking the whole time you're wearing yourself out with your complaining. :smokin

bhutocracy 02-16-2002 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sleepy



bhutocracy, you are always too neutral and friendly. Someday Im gonna pick a fight with your aussie ass just to see what your made of :Graucho or buy you some REAL beer :winkwink:

REAL BEER???? OOOHHHH THAT DOES IT! i can take all sorts of shit but TO INSULT AUSSIE BEER!!! ooooooo bring some of your beer-flavoured water over here and i'll show you how real men drink!! im ready for ya sleepy :) hey after i've shown you how our tapwater has more alcohol than your beer, and we've dusted the floor with each other can we get drunk and say "mmaaaaaaattte" heaps?

Speedy26 02-16-2002 08:28 PM

quit smoking two years ago and still miss it to this day. why, i dont know. but my walls in my house stay white now : ) and my new truck does not have burn holes in everything like my car did. hehe

Sleepy 02-16-2002 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bhutocracy


REAL BEER???? OOOHHHH THAT DOES IT! i can take all sorts of shit but TO INSULT AUSSIE BEER!!! ooooooo bring some of your beer-flavoured water over here and i'll show you how real men drink!! im ready for ya sleepy :) hey after i've shown you how our tapwater has more alcohol than your beer, and we've dusted the floor with each other can we get drunk and say "mmaaaaaaattte" heaps?

Nyaaaahahahahaha ! I'll take you to the Weeping Radish Brewery in North Carolina. The mugs are 64oz and the beer is made by German brewing standards. You'll be head first in the latrine by the 4th round :Graucho

bhutocracy 02-16-2002 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sleepy


Nyaaaahahahahaha ! I'll take you to the Weeping Radish Brewery in North Carolina. The mugs are 64oz and the beer is made by German brewing standards. You'll be head first in the latrine by the 4th round :Graucho

heheh i'm 1/4 german and 1/4 hungarian! bring it on! lol :)

bhutocracy 02-16-2002 09:38 PM

and a 1/4 irish.. lol :drinkup

(it's only the pommie 1/4 that wusses it lol :)


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