Post your worst jokes
 

Don't ask why, but I need the worst jokes known to man. A joke that is just barely funny even at your drunkest.

Like this:

Man: Doctor! Doctor! I've got five penises
Doctor: My Goodness! How do you trousers fit?
Man: Like a glove!

A horse walks into a bar.

The bar tender asks, why the long face?

Exactly what i was going to post when i saw the thread name. :1orglaugh

what did the elephant say to the naked man?



how do you breathe through that thing?

A man comes to the Doctor's office with a toad on his head, suddenly the toed starts speaking and says:"Doctor, Doctor, Look what is growing out of my butt..."

:evil-laug
:eek7

Armed & Hammered :winkwink:

A cabbage, a faucet, and a tomato had a race. The cabbage was a head, the faucet was running, and the tomato tried to catch up.



or if thats not pathetic enuff for you...



Why do cows moo?
Because their horns don't work.

frog joke funny
me laugh
ha ha

:1orglaugh

It's a toad! Call it what it is! :mad:

Here's a good one....

...and then WTF? say's, "It's a toad! Call it what it is! "

A pediphile is walking a little boy out into the forest one night and the little boy says ,"I don't like it out here, I am scared, it's too dark!"
The pediphile then looks down at the boy and says, "You are scared? I have to walk out of here alone later."

How come us guys can sleep on our sides?????


Cuz we've got kickstands!!!!!

RRRRRRRRRRiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighghghghghghghgh ghghghghghttttttttttttt .......

:321GFY

A man comes home from work, and his wife says to him, "I can't live with you anymore, i just found out you're a pediphile." The guy says, "pediphile, wow, that's a big word for a twelve year old".

i see a pattern here!

it's pedophile though!

To continue with the pattern....



What's the best thing about a 10 year old girl?
When you're done you can roll her over and you have a 10 year old boy.



or



I like virgins because I like to make my own hole.

How can you tell your daughter's being abused at her day-care center?
You hand her a broom and she straddles it.

How can you tell your son's being abused at his day-care center?
He won't use a pacifier unless it's got hair on it

What's the difference between acne and a Catholic Priest? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13.

Holy shit...what have I started?

heres one for GOFUCKYOURSELF!
---------------------------------------------------------------------

A man and his grandson are fishing by a peaceful lake beneath
some weeping willow trees. The man takes out a cigarette and
lights it.

His grandson says, "Grandpa, Can I try some of your cigarette?"

"Can you touch your asshole with your penis?" he says.

"No," says the little boy.

"Then you're not big enough."

A few more minutes pass, and the man takes a beer our of his
cooler and opens it.

The little boy says, "Grandpa, can I have some of your beer?"

"Can you touch your asshole with your penis?", he says.

"No," says the little boy.

"Then you're not old enough."

Time passes and they continue to fish. The little boy gets hungry
and he reaches into his lunch box, takes out a bag of cookies and
eats one.

The grandfather looks at him and says, "Hey they look good. Can I
have one of your cookies?"

"Can you touch your asshole with your penis?" says the little boy.

"I most certainly can!" says the grandfather.

"Then go fuck yourself," says the boy, "These are my cookies!"

A little girl asks her father, "where do little girls come from?"
The father says, "they come from a hard-on."
The little girl then asks her father, "where does a hard-on come from?"
The father says, "little girls!"

how do you make a 5 year old boy cry twice?

wipe your bloody dick on his teddy bear!

Armed & Hammered, this is all on your head! youve unleashed the one eyed monster.

A guy goes into a drugstore and says "I need condoms for my eleven-year old daughter." The pharmacist says "Your daughter is sexually active at eleven?!" ....the guy says "Nah, she just lies there like her mother."

Mommy, Mommy! Who will I stay with while you are gone?
Grandma Dear, now get in the coffin.

Mommy, Mommy! What am I gonna be when I grow up?
Nothing, dear. You know you have AIDS!

Mommy, Mommy! Can I have tomato soup!
Shut up son, you know we can only have it once a month.

Mommy, Mommy! Why are we celebrating Christmas in August?
Shut up son, you know you have cancer.

Mommy, Mommy! Why is Daddy so pale?
Shut up son and keep digging.

Mommy, Mommy!, can I go swimming?
Shut up son. You know iron lungs don't float!

Mommy, Mommy! What's a nymphomaniac?
Shut up son and help me get Grandma off the doorknob!

Hosting company: We have redundancy.
Customer: uh ok


bawawahaaa:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

What's better than having sex with a 18 year old girl?

Flipping her over and pretending she's an 18 year old boy..



EEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!:throwup :throwup

Ohhh... How sweet ...

What's the best thing about a 10 year old girl?
When you're done you can roll her over and you have a 10 year old boy.


:eek7

Heres the worst yet!!


What do you say to a girl with No Arms & No Legs??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Nice Tits!!!
http://www.adult-marketing.com/sexybtch.jpg

Oh boy, now thats just fucking wrong, however seeing as you started this....


Q:Whats the best part of fucking a 5 year old girl in the ass?


A:Flipping her over and finding out it was a 5 year old boy.


And before it starts, which i know it will, i'm not gay and I refrain from fucking 5 year olds of either gender.

How do you get 20 elephants out of a car?


The same way they got in...



GROANER!

boneprone is hetero

this is so fucked up talking about fucking little girls and shit.

oh wait here's one..

why are there 500,000 Battered women in the U.S.A
.
..
...
....
.....

Because they Dont Listen

Before it starts? - Marty already posted that same joke in this thread.



:winkwink:

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

Megasaurass :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

40,000+ expired names daily plus a TON more

What do you call a female dinosaur?

A Lick-a-lot-a-puss.


:winkwink:

I ment lesbian dinosaur.

I tried to go back and edit it, but I couldn't because it was over the 60 minute time limit to edit posts - Man, I just fucked that joke up.


:glugglug

Q...How do you get a poofter to have sex with a woman?
A... Put some shit in her cunt!

:eek7


AT LEAST HELP HER TO SHAVE...