I ran a mile and fought off a pit bull to get to the playboy mansion
 

For those that did not hear the story, here is my little odyssey.
I left early from the hotel to give myself some leisure time at home to change for the playboy party. As soon as I get home, I get a call that I need to travel out of the way to pick up shirts for the schwag bags for the lucky strike party. This Would be right in the worst traffic at the worst time. Make it better I was already low on gas. I go pick up the shirts and have 50 minutes to do an hour trip and no gas. Milan says try victory, its the best way to go. Thing is I am not sure in the new car what it will do on no gas. The other thing is I am not really sure where I can get gas. Traffic is not helping, gas runs out. So I run a half mile the wrong way and have to run a mile back the other way, time is ticking by "I am gonna miss the fucking webmaster party of a life time". I get there and wait in fucking line while the attendant goes to the bathroom. Ugh, this fuckin sucks!!!! I get to the front and buy a gas can and but 2 dollars of gas, yep less than a gallon. While I am buying some dude touches my ass. He acts like its an accident and I shoot him one of those hey back the fuck up cinderella looks. Some asshole tries to pump my two dollars into his tank but I stop him in time. The pump won't fuckin pump inot the can. 5 times later and I get it done. I walk to the corner and mr fuckin had to touch my ass tries to offer me a ride to my car. "fuck bro, get off my jock" I think, but say no dude, I'm cool. I start the half mile run back to the car, I'm dressed in leather pants and a silk shirt and i am getting fuckin sweaty and I just know I am gonna smell like a fuckin gas station attendant. FUCK!!!!! Right as I am halfway through a dog starts barking. I think He is behind some fence and he didn't see me the first time I went by. Holy shit its a fuckin pit bull and he is running after me. Like I am not fuckin late enough. I think maybe he'll back off, I slow down and try to keep walking, the mfer keeps comin. Closer and closer. I am fuckin freaking. All this shit so I can bring you people some schwag. The dog barks and gets closer, I threaten him with the gas can, I keep goin, hopin the fucking owners will get the fuck out of their fuckin house and save my fabio ass from this fuckin beast. The dog keeps comin, I fight him off again with the gas can, he just keeps comin, I hit him with the can, but I can 't have him bite through this plastic piece of shit. I do it again, yeah all i need is to have to go buy another can and buy 2 more fuckin dollars of gas. Finally the owners come out, but the dog comes at me again. The owner runs out and grabs the dog. Fuckin finally!!!! I run the rest of the way and fuck the spigot doesn't work, I try and I try and I read the directions. I am purin gas all over me, I will never get cigars I need, I'll never make the party and you guys will be SOL on the schwag. People are callin me, I am now mr. fuckin gasoline smell and finally I figure it out. More calls. "dude you need to get here". I wipe myself off with a t shirt, I drive like hell only to find I am totally cool on time, I get the t shirts to sexentertain mike and everything is cool. That is my true story of friday night.

Nice meeting you man! :thumbsup

How could you run out of Gas.....?

Good story man....

Nice story bro

You should buy some music from a band called TOOL -- maybe soon, maybe tonight. Go, Caz! FUCK YEAH -- :thumbsup


2hp

. . . and you wonder why the guy was touching youur ass? :1orglaugh

Why not wear a sign that says, "touch me"

At least ya didnt walk into the Lucky Strike Cigar/Cigarette party and burst into flames.

damn.. what a story... i like the details though.... i could totally picture the scene :thumbsup

Dude, it was my pleasure, thanks again for the hospitality :thumbsup

I so needed a cigar after that and I just couldn't risk it, I would have blown up up me, the car and the schwag.

Hahahah! I was thinking the same thing. :thumbsup

OH yeah and walking around covered in gas is very dangerous, static electricity could have lit ya up easily.

Especially witha dude smackin yer ass on the street LOL:)

He wasn't smackin he was just tryin to feel it up, I'm pretty and all, but not that pretty.

Moral of the story
If you have long hair, look like Fabio and are wearing leather pants-
don't stop for a $2 gas can in West Hollywood or your ass will be touched. :1orglaugh

Seriously though, I wondered why you smelled like fucking gasoline all night
:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

this was in the valley my skinny little ass was on a bus with other gfy'ers in west hollywood and the only person starin at my ass or touchin it was lia19 :thumbsup

so good to see you again bro.

Man, your nose is amazing -- :)

2hp

And the thing Is I tried to dress it up a little on thursday and friday night, and jack here was the only one that noticed. lol. Like what do I got to do to get some ladies here, huh?

A lady, a "chiquita" if you will, may have noticed but would not confess the fact. My discernment is like a bolt cutter to the "tweezers" of such a one as you would want. Oh, you were seen.


2hp

for starters throw away the leather pants
I had a pair of those back in 87
They didn't get me anything but sweaty balls and cost me a fortune to dry clean them.

:pimp

Kevin, you have your ways to get laid -- there are other ways. Advise a friend to the SHORTEST path, not that which affirms you in success -- :winkwink:

2hp

Worth sharing Odessey. It's better to have that gas smell than to have pitbull's teethmarks on your fabio ass. :D

great story caza....lol

thats like james bond shit yo

Damn dude, that sucks

thanks caz that made my AM

whoa, good story

lol. that is classic. you should stopped and set the dog on fire with your portable bomb, but then you woulda had to go back to the gay gas station.

glad you made it. that was an accomplishment.

ROFL

at least you got there in time and without missing any body parts

:smokin

its almost worth going through all that just to be able to tell the story to the playmates

damn dude..gald it worked out...that is quite the story

glad the dog didnt get ya

Dude thats crazy.... too bad you didn't get video LOL

New paragraph?

more cheech and chong than double O seven

i was thinkin while i was fending off this mfer, everyone on gfy will want pics of this part

Ya and i was the first to see him right after this...Crazy!
The guy was sweating

leather pants and a silk shirt? no wonder the guys touched your ass

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

thats one hella of a story, im glad you got there on time :winkwink:

dude glad it worked out in the end and you made it

LMFAO

Now that's CLASSIC!

:)

Glad you made it, Caz!

i cant read that shit.