This is Canada! We don't speak French here.
 

I'm lazing around in bed, half asleep from my afternoon nap still and the door bell rings. Not just once or twice, but probably a full half dozen times in quick succession. I'm not expecting anybody, and two big dogs barking at the door bell while you're just waking up is not too nice so I'm pretty pissed off already going down the stairs to answer the door.

I swing the door open wide and some squirelly looking dude is hopping up and down like he has to pee and immediately starts choking out some words that sound to me something like "Toot la fruiit! La blah blah blah!!!". Being as I was pretty drowsy I was confused at first about what was going on. After a few more minutes of frantic dancing and gibberish I finally figure out this guy's speaking French.

Now I'm really fucking pissed. Generally when French Canadians are interacting with English speaking Canadians, it's because they need more money, help, guidance or something. So not only has les ass clown more or less woken me up, he won't shut the fuck up about whatever his problem is.

At first I seriously considered setting the dogs on him. I quickly realized how absurd that would be and just did what anybody else would do and starting laughing my ass off. The more I got to laughing and thinking about the long history of French failures and how much like retarded monkeys mating that language sounds like, the funnier the whole thing becomes. By the time I have the heart to close the door on this guy's face I'm quite literally crying in laughter.

Anyways, turns out I guess his wife had a heart attack while they were driving around my neighborhood trying to get to the big park at the border. Since I'm right on the border, there's no cell reception here so they wanted to use a land line for help. I guess he had to try more than a dozen houses before somebody could stop laughing long enough to help out.

I kind of feel bad about the guy's wife, but really. This is Canada, maybe you should learn to speak English if you're going to have a medical emergency? :1orglaugh

Did you let the poor mother fucker use the phone? :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

In Canada you have a mandatory 9 years of French in school. You didn't learn enough in 9 years to know what this guy was saying? Come on man. What a dick move.

It's worth noting Canada has the largest population of French that have never surrendered to Germany.

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Hell no. Once the French get in to a place they suck up all the natural resources and just ruin it. Have you seen Africa or Quebec?

I actually didn't find out what happened until I went outside to check the mail and the guy's car was parked in my extra parking spot that's always empty to the side of my driveway. I guess when the tow truck driver I called was hooking it up a neighbor told him about it.

False: It's not mandatory in Canada. In bilingual provinces such as NB, it's a choice (although getting less of a choice with each change to the education system as they add more french curriculum to the english schools). The only place it is mandatory is Quebec.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

i took it for 9 years and yet i know nothing beyond hello goodbye and the words that sound like english...just wasn't important in soutwestern ontario. now i'm in ottawa, lots of french people around. they might as well be speaking japanese.

Did you sic the dogs after him after you let him use the phone? ;-)

Saying "9 years" makes it sound like a lot, but actually it's only a few classes per week for that time. And not every French teacher in western Canada for example is fully fluent in French. In other words it's hit or miss for most Canadian kids as to how much actual French lingo they'll retain.

I not only had those 9 years but also worked in a French speaking hospital for nearly 15 years, and STILL I am far from fluent. I can get by with what I know in certain situations, but when someone starts going off with a fast stream of it I'm as lost as the next guy.

Actually that's not quite accurate. In the schools I attended here in Manitoba taking French was mandatory up until grade 8. From grade 9 and up it was an elective. That was in the 70's, and today my young neices and nephews all have to take it as well.

But as it happens I opted to take it from 9 through 12, and as I said still can't speak much of it. It's just not intensive enough, and coupled with the fact that most kids I knew just weren't all that serious about it and only took it for the credits and, well, there you have it.

I didn't "have" to take french in BC until high school and even then it was optional.. If you wanted to get into university and/or jobs where having it would be required, then you took it.

No, Canada is AWESOME.

Quebec sucks.

I like sucking periods.... (Thru white silk panties... :thumbsup )

Its about diversity when you're having a life threatening medical emergency and you need to quickly communicate that fact and ask for assistance?

Seriously, are you a fucking retard?

Goddamn hippies

Newsflash, us crazy Americans "allow" our citizens to freely speak whichever language they want as well. And they do. Plenty of people that don't know English running around.

In fact, the United States declares no official language. While Canada declares English and French as its official language.

On another note... when living in a country where 90% of the population speaks a language that you don't natively speak, it's probably a pretty damn good idea to learn that language.

:1orglaugh
But it could be hot it's just that we're fucking full of "gauchistes" and "unilingues" retards. Thanks to the "gouvernement" that makes sure everyone stay that way :321GFY

This thread makes me ill... what if that was you? what if it was your wife dying? Do you not travel to places where you don't know the language?

A chance to save a life.. and it was wasted on ignorance. Bravo.

Call me nutty, but i'd like to take a stab at this one.

I am guessing that if it was his wife and he was having an emergency, he would say "excuse me, but i have an emergency, may I please use your phone"

:2 cents:

Indeed and spanish too. Hell 99% of North America speaks english or spanish but we have fucking laws and stupid assholes running the place.

Europeans speak 4,5,6 languages here ONE and it ain't the RIGHT ONE

I would have barged in and taken a phone.

Really, are you sure you wouldn't have just stopped and begun a political debate about Canadian leadership and multiculturalism?

LOL why you staying in Quebec then.

Province of Quebec his comparable to BC, 2 awesome place to live :thumbsup

Not in BC. :2 cents:

I took all 9 years of it (2 years OAC) and I'm still lost, I got stuck in Trois Rivieres and NOBODY speaks a lick of English, Luckily my friend was fully fluent. (a little town called St Louis de Ha Ha, btw has the worst strip club ever) Its one thing to learn the basics, when someone is speaking slowly and you can get the gist of it. Its quite another when they are speaking normally and you only half get what they say. Besides that, I know people that are Parisian that have had difficulty communicating in Quebec, because of all the slang, and some of the french words that they do use, are very old french, that the french don't use anymore.

Dude, what are you on? This is generally true of humans. Why are speakers of french in any particular position on this?!?

:D

Canada speaks high taxes!

My Dad lived in Quebec for a lot of his childhood and speaks french still, but always wondered why they'd teach Ontario children proper france french, rather than how they speak it in Quebec. Maybe its different now, who knows.

I took french from grade 4 until grade 9. I can read a bit of it, but when I've been around people speaking french in Quebec I'm lucky if I can pick out more than a couple words.

Bah they teach us Frenchmen proper France french in school... we just learn "real" french in Quebec streets.

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"le tyre, le Hamburger, breuvage" at least they are similar to English so the rest of us Canadians can understand :winkwink:

I took two years of French in high school, and I can speak more French than that.

Canadians don't speak French. They speak "Québécois". The real french think that canadian french is a joke. This is akin to saying Texans speak English.

When I lived in Paris, they would ask me to speak french with the Québécois accent - as if it was a party trick. The Québécois accent is so strange it's like watching a cartoon.

Think Larry the Cable Guy...

:winkwink:



:1orglaugh

did you read my post or not? if he was in a place where they don't understand english, they do exist you know?

They sure do. Fortunately, there's no place in the World (that anyone would go) where you need to speak French. Even in Paris you'll get by with Spanish. :2 cents:

I lived in Central America and I'm fluent in Spanish.

I lived in Hong Kong and I can speak conversational Cantonese.

I have common sense, I can mime a phone such that even the deaf would be able to understand me.

I read his post and your post. Which is now making me wonder... Canada is a place where they don't understand English?

I can see things being different in BC regarding required French in schools. But here in Manitoba we have the largest French community west of Quebec (St. Boniface) plus a sizeable metis population.

I will make one ammendment to my earlier post though. I took French up to and including grade 10. After that, well, I'm not even sure if there was a French class beyond the 10th grade, but if there was I didn't take it (or need it for credits).


As to the OP I'll say this: I don't speak Spanish either, but when I was down in Mexico and needed some assistance from the front desk and hotel security I easily made myself understood and my wishes known. Why? Because whenever I'm in a place where English isn't the main language I take the time to at least learn a few basic words and phrases to get by with. For here in Canada I have a small basic working knowledge of French, have been to and lived briefly in Montreal for several months in the past, and got by just fine. So no excuse for any French-speaking people travelling in W Canada not knowing a word of English or enough to properly ask for the phone or assistance from someone during an emergency. No excuse at all.

Are you sure you're in Canada and not Alabama? because you sound like a backwards redneck

in certain parts of quebec you might have a hard time getting them to speak/understand english. hell, even when i cross the border here in ottawa just to go to the grocery store i can't get them to understand or speak english half the time.

I had a cabbie that picked me up at Trudeau get insulted i didn't speak french and acted like he had difficulty understanding english.

Sorry, but if you're an airport cabbie in Quebec, not being able to speak or understand english is a tough sell.

When I got shitty back suddenly the language barrier was no longer a problem :1orglaugh