I'm lazing around in bed, half asleep from my afternoon nap still and the door bell rings. Not just once or twice, but probably a full half dozen times in quick succession. I'm not expecting anybody, and two big dogs barking at the door bell while you're just waking up is not too nice so I'm pretty pissed off already going down the stairs to answer the door.
I swing the door open wide and some squirelly looking dude is hopping up and down like he has to pee and immediately starts choking out some words that sound to me something like "Toot la fruiit! La blah blah blah!!!". Being as I was pretty drowsy I was confused at first about what was going on. After a few more minutes of frantic dancing and gibberish I finally figure out this guy's speaking French.
Now I'm really fucking pissed. Generally when French Canadians are interacting with English speaking Canadians, it's because they need more money, help, guidance or something. So not only has les ass clown more or less woken me up, he won't shut the fuck up about whatever his problem is.
At first I seriously considered setting the dogs on him. I quickly realized how absurd that would be and just did what anybody else would do and starting laughing my ass off. The more I got to laughing and thinking about the long history of French failures and how much like retarded monkeys mating that language sounds like, the funnier the whole thing becomes. By the time I have the heart to close the door on this guy's face I'm quite literally crying in laughter.
Anyways, turns out I guess his wife had a heart attack while they were driving around my neighborhood trying to get to the big park at the border. Since I'm right on the border, there's no cell reception here so they wanted to use a land line for help. I guess he had to try more than a dozen houses before somebody could stop laughing long enough to help out.
I kind of feel bad about the guy's wife, but really. This is Canada, maybe you should learn to speak English if you're going to have a medical emergency?
I swing the door open wide and some squirelly looking dude is hopping up and down like he has to pee and immediately starts choking out some words that sound to me something like "Toot la fruiit! La blah blah blah!!!". Being as I was pretty drowsy I was confused at first about what was going on. After a few more minutes of frantic dancing and gibberish I finally figure out this guy's speaking French.
Now I'm really fucking pissed. Generally when French Canadians are interacting with English speaking Canadians, it's because they need more money, help, guidance or something. So not only has les ass clown more or less woken me up, he won't shut the fuck up about whatever his problem is.
At first I seriously considered setting the dogs on him. I quickly realized how absurd that would be and just did what anybody else would do and starting laughing my ass off. The more I got to laughing and thinking about the long history of French failures and how much like retarded monkeys mating that language sounds like, the funnier the whole thing becomes. By the time I have the heart to close the door on this guy's face I'm quite literally crying in laughter.
Anyways, turns out I guess his wife had a heart attack while they were driving around my neighborhood trying to get to the big park at the border. Since I'm right on the border, there's no cell reception here so they wanted to use a land line for help. I guess he had to try more than a dozen houses before somebody could stop laughing long enough to help out.
I kind of feel bad about the guy's wife, but really. This is Canada, maybe you should learn to speak English if you're going to have a medical emergency?
)
Comment