Worst date ever - a coed meltdown (a story from yesterday)
 

Well,

It all started as I went to a bar about four weeks ago as there was a friend of mine from Yugoslavia (Belegrad) coming over.

We drank a lot (he drank even more than me), then he left to the hotel and I stayed over there around 3 AM with MaDalton.

I was somehow attractive and being intensely drunk I picked up a girl, not super fancy looking but big eyes, big ass and very much fuckable. She was drunk and fun and studies philosophy, where obviously I totally killed her with quoting Schoppenhauer at 4 Am, totally drunk.

I wanted to fuck her at the sofa in the office that's nearby, but she was young, dumb and romantic, so she went home after she gave me her phone number.

Three weeks passed, we should have met like two times and then she always had something etc. bullshit!

I said to myself fuck it, not to waste time with her anymore, this Sunday evening she texted me, if I don't want to see her, so I said ok 5 pm Monday I'll pick her up in front of the university.

So it's Monday, I'm dressed to kill, white leather jacket, killer shoes, Aviators, in great shape, driving a red old school BMW that's old as hell but full of power and great roar.

Mel Gibson would be envying me, since I started to work out again and don't drink for a month already.

I see her and obviously she looks a little bit worse than what I remembered (alcohol is the best cosmetics), but still fuckable, so nothing can go wrong!


BUT THEN she meets some "friend" of her, obviously her friend is an emancipated, super antisexual bitch that looks only as bad as she talks.

So I say to myself.

"What the fuck is the matter with you? You sure don't want to take this feminist broad wreck with us, do you?

BINGO she feels bad NOT taking her with us, I don't know her good enough to say fuck off and HERE WE GO making a nice trio!

- a kid from a small town that's easy to talk to, a feminist super anti sexual bitch that's full of issues, and a crazy macho asshole like me

Ok, to make long story short - HER feminist bitch friend started to:

- pick on every single word I say
- doesn't understand sarcasm
- is full of shit and bitterness against men and tries to argue with me on any single topic while she doesn't realize I'm fucking with her
- pulls out topics that are NEVER spoke about between people who are not either:

1) pseudo intellectual idiots who need to show off at every instance

2) know each other for life

- so she's is pissing me off intensely, and I'm starting to get a temper

So I was only able to take it for about 60 minutes, I tried to

- change the topics
- tried to be easy
- tried to explain her I don't feel like arguing about metaphysics today
- tried to show "simple" humor

NOTHING WORKED!

So I got a temper, told her off big time that while she's BUBBLING her mouth and she's full of shit I could have rather SLEEP and why the fuck in the world should I spend MY FREE TIME arguing with a bitch that's full of issues and doesn't know how cock looks like already?

I paid the bill and left, deleted the number so I don't coincidentally or by mistake EVER text or call someone, that was dumb enough to fuck up the date taking this monster with!

FUCK!

FUCK!

Never, ever - fucking coeds!

They lost their virginity at the age of 23, with some total pseudo intellectual asshole student, who thought penis is for pissing and can't fuck and they have SO MANY ISSUES it's incredible!

NEVER EVER AGAIN!

Hookers for life, at least they know when to shut the fuck up!

Great success, cupid.

Yes, I lost more than 60 minutes of my life.

lol that was a good read thanks C

there are hookers for a reason bro

You guys in OZ have at least all those cute animals to watch and they calm your nerves down, here it's WEIRD INTELLECTUAL CREATURES!

:winkwink:

Well, the only good thing I praise about being in this fucked up business, is that I lost any sense for the middle class morality.

Life is so much easier!

Why didnt you just tell her that you wanted a threesome and order that they both ripped there pants off immeidiatly ?

Josh.

that line made me lulz.

:1orglaugh

Well I don't think I would want to fuck a frigid wreck, the problem is women don't behave naturally, if they have their "friends" around.

So the one I WANTED to fuck was mainly leaving ALL THE INTIATIVE on that cold pussy anti sexual nazi frigid sufragette!

I feel dumber after reading 30% of that shit.

Is this a blog post? For surfers?

Bahaha

I bet you don't.

And now, just to make the thread more interesting


















http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/images14...etCIMG7621.JPG

I got drunk bla bla bla I met a girl bla bla bla... yes, we all give a fuck

Oh, do you care so much it even provoked a response?

And who is "we all", a bunch of web 2.0. morons with no manners and no sense of humor?

I understand.

And do you feel qualified enough, talking on behalf of morons?

How is the weather in the moronland today?

After reading the whole post, I think this bit of information is the most important one. It makes your friend look like a real pimp.

The drinking capacity a man has to have here in the East is rather drastic.

Sounds ugly.

I once had a date that ended up with me having to make a statement to the cops.

I got set up with this girl through a friend I worked with. She seemed nice and was a CNA studying to be a nurse. We went out twice (once for lunch and once for dinner) and things were going pretty well. She invites me to have dinner with her and her dad. I go. he is cool as hell. He was a pilot in Vietnam and is a great guy. We eat and all the while there is another woman there who everyone called Rebel. Finally Stephanie (the girl I was there to see) pulls me into the other room and tells me Rebel steals from her dad but that someone is coming to take her back to her place so she wants to hang out until Rebel is gone to make sure she doesn't take anything. No prob.

About an hour goes by and there is a knock at the door. Rebel answers and it is a guy. She takes him into the bedroom. Stephanie's dad is now back in his office playing on his computer so he doesn't see any of this. About 5 minutes later Stephanie opens the bedroom door and all hell breaks loose. The girls start screaming at each other calling each other names and fighting. Me and the dad break things up. The dude who was at the door is standing in the corner naked.

The neighbor hears the yelling and calls the cops. They get there and arrest Rebel because she has a warrant. It turns out she was on a chat line and had been prostituting out of this poor old guy's (stephanie's dad) apartment. They tell the guy to leave then arrest Stephanie. She has a warrant too. She also has on her about 10 fake IDS. All with her pic but different names. She worked in a retirement center and was working a scam where she bought food stamp cards off the old people then resold them to other people and had the old people report them as missing. She already was waiting trial for these charges before and now has more.

In an effort to cut a deal for herself she tells them that I paid for everything and drove her around (She didn't have a car.) so I have to go in and make a statement to the police detectives about this. They didn't believe her, but my statement was admitted as evidence during her hearing. Luckily I didn't have to testify. After the defense attorney saw the evidence against her he talked her into cutting a deal.

That bitch had the gall to call me about 3 months later to ask if I would forgive her and give her another chance.

Oh damn, pretty vicious and pretty creative!

Dating anyone apart from hookers - all kinds of weird things happen!

Sounds like you ran into a woman that was witty and cunty. You let her win, find her # smile, nod, get some viagra and pound that ass!

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

go play with twitter, faggot

Of course it didn't work. You were doing all the wrong things. As in, the opposite of what you should have done.

And who are you?

Are you a rep? A program owner?

Is this a part of your marketing strategy, to call me a faggot?

Or are you just another moron, who somehow can't handle himself in the web 2.0. realm?

I'm Carl Borowitz, the CEO of Big Sister Media, you can find me in the Bloomberg article in my sig, I like to write in my free time, who are you?

Did you ever consider trying not to behave like a monkey, even we are on GFY?

Did I ask you for another smart ass comment?

Answer me.

Yeah, reconsidering I believe so too.

I should have smacked her right at the start, cause she only went more and more radioactive as time passed.

you really love tossing around that "web 2.0" phrase don't you? even when it makes little sense in context...

Next time find the dumb 1st yr student who don't know any better:1orglaugh

Well it always makes sense, here's the case, it's rather simple:

1) I post something, I don't mean it serious
2) some anonymous web 2.0. monkey who probably has issues tries to pull a high on me, without any single reason apart from being a moron, he doesn't understand humor, he's limited and he only wants to feel good behind his keyboard
3) I try to explain him my concerns about his behaviour

Exactly. He should have gotten to the point.

Point #1. When a girl balks on you twice, cut her off completely unless she REALLY makes it up to you. Too many women in the world to waste time.

Point #2. Never take a girl you just met out when she insists on having a 'tag along' friend, that is unless you've already established that you want a threesome, or unless you have some serious game (Which by the outcome of your scenario, you don't...no offense)

Point #3. Never argue with a woman you just met. It's a waste of your time and hers. Look her dead in the eye and simply ask in a calm and soothing voice: "You seem to have a lot of pent up energy. Are you certain that this is the way you want to expend it?"

Point #3b. If she insists on arguing, deflect. Don't take it personal. Sometimes when a woman is sexually unfulfilled it comes out as bitchiness. Never lose your cool.

You handled that situation completely wrong in my opinion. She simply might have needed a man who had the balls to stick a cock in her mouth to shut her the fuck up instead of one who was easily manipulated to the point of losing it.

The situation you were in, my friend, would have been a perfect threesome...if you had passed the test. Bitchy women often turn out to be the best fucks. The key is finding out quickly and firmly how to get her to argue with her pussy instead of her mouth.

I agree, I wish I wasn't so young and unexperienced

:winkwink:

Dude I have probably some, very much minor game here, among all these boring losers whining around, but some people, are just better left alone

:winkwink:

I tried that three times man... it didn't help

You're right, but I guess even Mahatma Ghandhi would loose his temper with this unsatisfied bitch

I DON'T WANT TO FUCK HER, I wanted to fuck her friend!

:)

Yes, I would get slashed by a leash from the feminist one and she would probably try to kill me with a strap on!

:winkwink:

great response eroticsexxx


teach us more

I agree Hank, and I will rather pick rather some "simplier" universities, pseudo economical or law could work better than philosophy, same dumb but less issues and less feminist urge that way.

Maybe the young waitress at Mc Donalds will be the best fuck of them all at the end.

:winkwink:

Well, as someone already told me, next time I'll prepair so many quotes from various philosophes that it won't be ME arguing!

:winkwink:

you should have just made an excuse not to go out with them that day.

That would be the million dollar solution,

But I'm just too dumb and too adventurous, that I went with BOTH of them on a sit.

Disclaimer:

I didn't know till the very last second we met each other, that she has this monster with her, she most likely didn't plan that too, so everything have been cool, if i could work on the one that I actually wanted to work on.

But it's those little coincidental moments in our lives that decide if one fucks or not.

You might want to analyze your perception of that situation again. My father once told me when I was a young lad: "When life hands you an extra pussy, be sure to FUCK it!"

As long as you know the 'safe word', play along. :2 cents:

Actually, here's what you should have done.

First, establish yourself as someone who shares most of her values. Imply that you value women's rights, gay rights, etc. With that out of the way, it's impossible for her to simply label you a "backwards pig" as dismiss you.

Second, create the image of a liberal, intellectual, sharp-witted "bad boy". Defend ridiculously indefensible positions, make inappropriate sexual suggestions which clearly aren't serious, every once in a while unexpectedly turn serious... basically, be entertaining, mysterious and funny.

When you're with girls who are passionate about politics and such, changing the subject away to "simple" humor doesn't work. Use political humor instead. Don't avoid problematic issues, but instead embrace them as an opportunity to show off your wit.

Essentially, try and be a bit like an Oscar Wilde character.

you apparently have your own definition for web 2.0 :2 cents:

my question regarding your story, how exactly did the friend come into play?

because from what i read, the way i see this all going down in my head goes something like so....

pretentious older dude rolls up to the university looking like he just popped out of the disco & thinking he's the bomb shit, mid-lifing it to the fullest. sobered up college girl starts having second thoughts and she grabs her nearest friend to tag along to make sure the situation doesn't get awkward. now, girls who bring a friend along on a date are a) testing the guy and looking to their friend for approval, or b) doing their best to avoid an embarrassing shutdown by bringing friend in as a blocker. the situation does get awkward. you failed this part of the game, and everyone goes their own ways with no intention of ever seeing one another again. the girl gets out of said awkward situation and into a good "what the fuck were you thinking?" lecture from said friend back in residence. luckily for you, you think pretty highly of yourself and won't take it to heart too deeply. everything in your mind is swept under the rug laying all the blame on two 'stupid young girls who weren't that great anyhow' thus leaving you feeling good about yourself being the well balanced mature individual you are. the friend played her part and feels good about saving her friend from this whole awkwad situation we're discussing. the girl is left feeling glad she didn't walk herself into a weird situation giving up that snatch to some self righteous old porn peddler. gfy gets a good laugh, and we all rejoice.

it's a win/win/win/win and everybody can be stoked! good job :thumbsup

If you don't put yourself in challenging situations, then how are you supposed to improve?

Don't go for 'easy'. Raise the bar and then try to get over it. If you fail, analyze what went wrong, get a different perspective, learn from the mistake and continue on.