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Old 10-27-2010, 10:12 AM   #1
ArielRebel
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Funny Quote of the Day - One of the dumbest thing a model told me...

Ok this is seriously funny...
Most of all of you know what is it to deal with models... lol ;) I'm sure you heard some really funny things in the past years so please share them with us
It's a funny quote tread to make us all laugh a bit and bring a smile on our faces for the day...

So I'm starting... I actually heard that yesterday from a model...
(Just to put you in context, I suspended the photoshoots because she need to work out)

"I cant work out and do cardio because I know my body and it wont change anything"

"The reason my body look like this, is because I sweat"


...and one of my favorite...

"I cant wet my hair because I'm working at 4pm" (it was 10am)

... I have plenty more but I want to wait for your funny model quote before trowing all my funniest in one bunch... lol Hope these first quotes gave you a mini smile...
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Old 10-27-2010, 10:14 AM   #2
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LOL. Now that's fucking comical!
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Old 10-27-2010, 10:19 AM   #3
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theres not enough space on this board, I'm saving it for a book
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Old 10-27-2010, 10:19 AM   #4
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She was really that bad off that you had to stop the shoot? Wow... how out of shape was she?! lol
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Old 10-27-2010, 10:25 AM   #5
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God bless their bobbies. One and all.
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Old 10-27-2010, 10:26 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doug of Montreal View Post
She was really that bad off that you had to stop the shoot? Wow... how out of shape was she?! lol
She has the body of a girl who's too old to party as much as she do (hard drugs) ... she look great face to face but FAR from being photo friendly... It was pretty sad...
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Old 10-27-2010, 10:27 AM   #7
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Excellent stuff

I think one of my most memorable lines to hear was:

"I can't go to the dinner tonight. I have to have my hair blown out." (it was 10am)

Oh, and come to think of it, I just remembered the fellow who wanted to start a site for his girlfriend. The only thing was she had an enormous hummingbird tattoo on one breast right around the nipple. He asked me if I could just photoshop it out of every picture because it was kindof a private thing. Ummm... no? How about you don't get crazy tattoos in the first place?
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Old 10-27-2010, 10:36 AM   #8
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Had a model that was 36 y.o. and I had shot her 2 years earlier. She called asking for more work. I asked her to come in for new interview pics. She told me to use the ones from 2 years ago as she really hadn't changed much from when she was 20. ( not just from 2 years ago) OY
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Old 10-27-2010, 10:40 AM   #9
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"I'm not into that BDSM shit... I don't like being tied up. I could totally get into tieing people up though and fucking the shit out of em..."

"So you're a dom?"

"I am not fucking dumb... what the fuck" <insert tirade>

"Not dumb... dom... fuck your dumb."
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Old 10-27-2010, 10:46 AM   #10
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Excellent stuff

I think one of my most memorable lines to hear was:

"I can't go to the dinner tonight. I have to have my hair blown out." (it was 10am)

Oh, and come to think of it, I just remembered the fellow who wanted to start a site for his girlfriend. The only thing was she had an enormous hummingbird tattoo on one breast right around the nipple. He asked me if I could just photoshop it out of every picture because it was kindof a private thing. Ummm... no? How about you don't get crazy tattoos in the first place?


LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
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Old 10-27-2010, 10:50 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by munki View Post
"I'm not into that BDSM shit... I don't like being tied up. I could totally get into tieing people up though and fucking the shit out of em..."

"So you're a dom?"

"I am not fucking dumb... what the fuck" <insert tirade>

"Not dumb... dom... fuck your dumb."
ahahaha good one :P
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Old 10-27-2010, 10:59 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by ArielRebel View Post


She has the body of a girl who's too old to party as much as she do (hard drugs) ... she look great face to face but FAR from being photo friendly... It was pretty sad...
That's too bad... she's not "rebel" caliber, that's for sure.
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Old 10-27-2010, 11:05 AM   #13
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Just a few.

"I don't look 35"

"Is this work going to be seen by anyone?"

After booking a girl for the day. "Can we hurry up as I have another shoot at 1.00"

"I don't usually get my period this week"

"Is it a problem having all those Zits on my bum/pussy?"

"Do I have to really kiss her/him"

"This is my best side"

After doing an awful fake orgasm or moaning through a scene. "This is what I sound like in real life"

And another favorite. "Why can't my boyfriend watch?"

"Last month XYZ paid me $2,000 for solo girl work." To which I answer "Then go work for him." To which she answers "But he doesn't want me anymore"

"Is this for Playboy?"

Could write a book.
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Old 10-27-2010, 11:05 AM   #14
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A girl I was shooting in her first nude shoot was at first apprehensive and nervous about filling out the model release, "Why do I have to sign it?, she asked sincerely.

Then when I told her to hold her Drivers License under her chin for the standard 2257 shot, which I sometimes call (as I did this time) her mugshot, she nearly broke down in tears, repeatedly saying she was sorry, and sobbing that she didn't want to go to jail, and that she hadn't even taken her clothes off yet, so we couldn't arrest her.

My whole crew nearly died from laughter...

ADG
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Old 10-27-2010, 11:06 AM   #15
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stupidity knows no borders...

and anyone who ever tried to make models repeat one sentence on cam knows what i mean
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Old 10-27-2010, 11:07 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude View Post
A girl I was shooting in her first nude shoot was at first apprehensive and nervous about filling out the model release, "Why do I have to sign it?, she asked sincerely.

Then when I told her to hold her Drivers License under her chin for the standard 2257 shot, which I sometimes call (as I did this time) her mugshot, she nearly broke down in tears, repeatedly saying she was sorry, and sobbing that she didn't want to go to jail, and that she hadn't even taken her clothes off yet, so we couldn't arrest her.

My whole crew nearly died from laughter...

ADG
lol - now this is a good one
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Old 10-27-2010, 11:20 AM   #17
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and anyone who ever tried to make models repeat one sentence on cam knows what i mean
Once shot Vida Garman who was a top model in the 90s. She had to walk into the room, sit down and introduce herself as Vida Garman.

It took 8 takes to get it right.
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Old 10-27-2010, 11:32 AM   #18
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lol - nice thread Ariel.

I have hundreds - but the last one, which made me laugh...

On a cam site, where a model told me to 'check her out' before hiring her...

Model is sticking a dildo in her ass and another one in her pussy...
Once she comes up for air, i say...

"Can we get some feet shots sweetie?" - and tipped her about $10 bucks...

"Sorry" was her reply, "I dont show my feet".

WTF. While doing anal and vaginal penetration... uh?
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Old 10-27-2010, 11:34 AM   #19
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lol - nice thread Ariel.

I have hundreds - but the last one, which made me laugh...

On a cam site, where a model told me to 'check her out' before hiring her...

Model is sticking a dildo in her ass and another one in her pussy...
Once she comes up for air, i say...

"Can we get some feet shots sweetie?" - and tipped her about $10 bucks...

"Sorry" was her reply, "I dont show my feet".

WTF. While doing anal and vaginal penetration... uh?
AHAHAHAH ...but maybe she had none
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Old 10-27-2010, 11:39 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude View Post
A girl I was shooting in her first nude shoot was at first apprehensive and nervous about filling out the model release, "Why do I have to sign it?, she asked sincerely.

Then when I told her to hold her Drivers License under her chin for the standard 2257 shot, which I sometimes call (as I did this time) her mugshot, she nearly broke down in tears, repeatedly saying she was sorry, and sobbing that she didn't want to go to jail, and that she hadn't even taken her clothes off yet, so we couldn't arrest her.

My whole crew nearly died from laughter...

ADG
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Old 10-27-2010, 11:43 AM   #21
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Those are hilarious LOL
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Old 10-27-2010, 11:52 AM   #22
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On 9/11 - I can't come to work because I'm afraid the building will get bombed (we worked in Toronto Ontario)

More than once during a webcam free chat - "I hate my boss and this company - planning on taking all the clients and going to a competitor shortly once I get my list complete".... saying this in an open room with her chat monitor present and model manager reading the screen
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Old 10-27-2010, 12:37 PM   #23
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I needed a good laugh today! haha
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Old 10-27-2010, 01:53 PM   #24
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Ok here's another one of mine...

Right after I told a model that unfortunately we cant shoot her anymore because she is too slow, and look like the opposite of something sexual on camera
(in so many words much more professional of course... this is only gfy language )

"Leave me the fuck alone" - o_O

Ok this one is just funny...

"Shoot a lot of lights in my face because I haven't slept that much last night"
after executing her order
"The light is too bright! please tone it down"
after executing her request again
"Now I look like shit, put the light back"
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Old 10-27-2010, 03:33 PM   #25
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Ok here's another one of mine...

Ok this one is just funny...

"Shoot a lot of lights in my face because I haven't slept that much last night"
after executing her order
"The light is too bright! please tone it down"
after executing her request again
"Now I look like shit, put the light back"


When I was still shooting with hot lights (halogen lamps), I would turn the AC up real high prior to shooting. Models would invariably tell me to turn off the AC or turn up the heat. My reaction was for them to put on a robe or more clothes until the shoot started.

I warned the girls that it would get really hot fast once the lights were turned on and we started shooting, but some would hear nothing of it, and have the room temp cranked up anyway.

Then, 15 minutes into the shoot, all I hear for the next few hours is how hot it is (even with the AC turned on again). The craziest part of it all is that we shooters had to stand right next to the hot lights and literally would get dehydrated if we didn't consume massive quantities of water/Gatorade.

No, I do not miss using hot lights...

ADG
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Old 10-27-2010, 03:48 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude View Post
A girl I was shooting in her first nude shoot was at first apprehensive and nervous about filling out the model release, "Why do I have to sign it?, she asked sincerely.

Then when I told her to hold her Drivers License under her chin for the standard 2257 shot, which I sometimes call (as I did this time) her mugshot, she nearly broke down in tears, repeatedly saying she was sorry, and sobbing that she didn't want to go to jail, and that she hadn't even taken her clothes off yet, so we couldn't arrest her.

My whole crew nearly died from laughter...

ADG
Thats the funniest thing I have heard in a long time!!!!
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