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Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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#1 |
Confirmed User
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,479
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![]() Ok this is seriously funny... Most of all of you know what is it to deal with models... lol ;) I'm sure you heard some really funny things in the past years so please share them with us ![]() It's a funny quote tread to make us all laugh a bit and bring a smile on our faces for the day... So I'm starting... I actually heard that yesterday from a model... (Just to put you in context, I suspended the photoshoots because she need to work out) "I cant work out and do cardio because I know my body and it wont change anything" "The reason my body look like this, is because I sweat" ...and one of my favorite... "I cant wet my hair because I'm working at 4pm" (it was 10am) ... I have plenty more but I want to wait for your funny model quote before trowing all my funniest in one bunch... lol Hope these first quotes gave you a mini smile...
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#2 |
Jägermeister Test Pilot
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: NORCAL
Posts: 73,866
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LOL. Now that's fucking comical!
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#3 |
Confirmed User
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 637
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theres not enough space on this board, I'm saving it for a book
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#4 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,877
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She was really that bad off that you had to stop the shoot? Wow... how out of shape was she?! lol
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#5 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Homeless
Posts: 62,911
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God bless their bobbies. One and all.
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PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com | Angeles Cid | Mariana Cordoba | MAILERS WELCOME! |
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#6 |
Confirmed User
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,479
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She has the body of a girl who's too old to party as much as she do (hard drugs) ... she look great face to face but FAR from being photo friendly... It was pretty sad...
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#7 |
Reach for those stars!
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 17,991
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Excellent stuff
![]() I think one of my most memorable lines to hear was: "I can't go to the dinner tonight. I have to have my hair blown out." (it was 10am) Oh, and come to think of it, I just remembered the fellow who wanted to start a site for his girlfriend. The only thing was she had an enormous hummingbird tattoo on one breast right around the nipple. He asked me if I could just photoshop it out of every picture because it was kindof a private thing. Ummm... no? How about you don't get crazy tattoos in the first place?
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#8 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: San Diego
Posts: 255
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Had a model that was 36 y.o. and I had shot her 2 years earlier. She called asking for more work. I asked her to come in for new interview pics. She told me to use the ones from 2 years ago as she really hadn't changed much from when she was 20. ( not just from 2 years ago) OY
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#9 |
Do Fun Shit.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: OC
Posts: 13,393
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"I'm not into that BDSM shit... I don't like being tied up. I could totally get into tieing people up though and fucking the shit out of em..."
"So you're a dom?" "I am not fucking dumb... what the fuck" <insert tirade> "Not dumb... dom... fuck your dumb."
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![]() “I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.” -Oscar Wilde |
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#10 | |
Confirmed User
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Hamburg
Posts: 876
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Quote:
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#11 |
Confirmed User
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,479
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ahahaha good one :P
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#12 | |
Confirmed User
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,877
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#13 |
Too old to care
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: On the sofa, watching TV or doing my jigsaws.
Posts: 52,943
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Just a few.
"I don't look 35" "Is this work going to be seen by anyone?" After booking a girl for the day. "Can we hurry up as I have another shoot at 1.00" "I don't usually get my period this week" "Is it a problem having all those Zits on my bum/pussy?" "Do I have to really kiss her/him" "This is my best side" After doing an awful fake orgasm or moaning through a scene. "This is what I sound like in real life" And another favorite. "Why can't my boyfriend watch?" "Last month XYZ paid me $2,000 for solo girl work." To which I answer "Then go work for him." To which she answers "But he doesn't want me anymore" "Is this for Playboy?" Could write a book. |
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#14 |
Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 38,323
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A girl I was shooting in her first nude shoot was at first apprehensive and nervous about filling out the model release, "Why do I have to sign it?, she asked sincerely.
Then when I told her to hold her Drivers License under her chin for the standard 2257 shot, which I sometimes call (as I did this time) her mugshot, she nearly broke down in tears, repeatedly saying she was sorry, and sobbing that she didn't want to go to jail, and that she hadn't even taken her clothes off yet, so we couldn't arrest her. My whole crew nearly died from laughter... ![]() ADG |
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#15 |
I am Amazing Content!
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 39,828
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stupidity knows no borders...
and anyone who ever tried to make models repeat one sentence on cam knows what i mean
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#16 | |
I am Amazing Content!
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 39,828
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Quote:
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AmazingContent.com - providing only the best content and service since 2003 Monetize your content on Veegaz.com - one of Germanies largest VOD sites Got German traffic? We convert it into money for you! Skype: madalton02826 - Email: oltecconsult [at] gmail [dot] com |
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#17 | |
Too old to care
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: On the sofa, watching TV or doing my jigsaws.
Posts: 52,943
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Quote:
It took 8 takes to get it right. ![]() |
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#18 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: mexico
Posts: 1,271
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lol - nice thread Ariel.
I have hundreds - but the last one, which made me laugh... On a cam site, where a model told me to 'check her out' before hiring her... Model is sticking a dildo in her ass and another one in her pussy... Once she comes up for air, i say... "Can we get some feet shots sweetie?" - and tipped her about $10 bucks... "Sorry" was her reply, "I dont show my feet". WTF. While doing anal and vaginal penetration... uh?
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#19 | |
Confirmed User
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,479
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Quote:
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#20 | |
aliasx
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 19,010
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Quote:
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#21 |
Confirmed User
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 1,056
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Those are hilarious LOL
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#22 |
SEO Connoisseur
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Brantford, Ontario
Posts: 16,911
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On 9/11 - I can't come to work because I'm afraid the building will get bombed (we worked in Toronto Ontario)
More than once during a webcam free chat - "I hate my boss and this company - planning on taking all the clients and going to a competitor shortly once I get my list complete".... saying this in an open room with her chat monitor present and model manager reading the screen
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#23 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: In a dream
Posts: 1,955
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I needed a good laugh today! haha
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#24 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,479
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Ok here's another one of mine... Right after I told a model that unfortunately we cant shoot her anymore because she is too slow, and look like the opposite of something sexual on camera (in so many words much more professional of course... this is only gfy language ![]() "Leave me the fuck alone" - o_O Ok this one is just funny... "Shoot a lot of lights in my face because I haven't slept that much last night" after executing her order "The light is too bright! please tone it down" after executing her request again "Now I look like shit, put the light back"
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#25 | |
Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 38,323
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Quote:
![]() When I was still shooting with hot lights (halogen lamps), I would turn the AC up real high prior to shooting. Models would invariably tell me to turn off the AC or turn up the heat. My reaction was for them to put on a robe or more clothes until the shoot started. I warned the girls that it would get really hot fast once the lights were turned on and we started shooting, but some would hear nothing of it, and have the room temp cranked up anyway. Then, 15 minutes into the shoot, all I hear for the next few hours is how hot it is (even with the AC turned on again). The craziest part of it all is that we shooters had to stand right next to the hot lights and literally would get dehydrated if we didn't consume massive quantities of water/Gatorade. No, I do not miss using hot lights... ![]() ADG |
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#26 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,847
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Quote:
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