My girlfriend just... - GoFuckYourself.com

Litzer · 10-02-2010, 11:39 PM

Puked all over the car. Went to MY friends wedding, she gets fucking plowed, pukes all over the car and now shes on the bathroom floor passed the fuck out.

FML.

edit: the whole car smells like garlic hummus and newcastle.

Also to make it clear, she puked inside the car. Driving about 50 mph down the highway she decided to open the door to puke and it sprayed everywhere inside.

PornMD · 10-02-2010, 11:46 PM

Next time get the puke out of her before she gets in the car.

Litzer · 10-02-2010, 11:47 PM

Fuck.. I think I will keep a plunger in the trunk from now on.

clicker · 10-02-2010, 11:48 PM

Give her ginger ale.

Oracle Porn · 10-02-2010, 11:48 PM

she'll be using her toothbrush to get it sparkling clean tomorrow.

AzteK · 10-02-2010, 11:49 PM

http://www.aa.org

Litzer · 10-02-2010, 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by clicker

Give her ginger ale.

I don't keep an active stock of ginger ale.

AzteK · 10-02-2010, 11:51 PM

pictures pls. we can asses the situation better...

Litzer · 10-02-2010, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oracle Porn

she'll be using her toothbrush to get it sparkling clean tomorrow.

I think thats a grand idea. Im gonna put her toothbrush in her hand right now with a note saying "Use this on the car".

adult-help · 10-03-2010, 12:11 AM

pics or it didnt happen..

LongBG · 10-03-2010, 01:10 AM

I am so glad you could share that with us all, the fine people of GFY who actually do NOT give a fuck

Loch · 10-03-2010, 01:49 AM

report the car stolen and push it off a cliff....

NiftyStats Jenna · 10-03-2010, 01:51 AM

sell your car

Jdoughs · 10-03-2010, 01:51 AM

Enjoy cleaning the car tomorrow while your GF is pissed at you for thinking she would.

LongBG · 10-03-2010, 01:53 AM

sell your girl

Jdoughs · 10-03-2010, 01:57 AM

What smells better, new GF smell or new car smell?

AzteK · 10-03-2010, 02:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loch

report the car stolen and push it off a cliff....

with or without her?

redwhiteandblue · 10-03-2010, 02:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Litzer

edit: the whole car smells like garlic hummus and newcastle.

Your car smells like Newcastle? Now that IS bad.

Adraco · 10-03-2010, 02:47 AM

Dress her up, grab some pictures and sell them as "druken girlfriend" nieche. Use the money to turn your car in for cleaning service.

purecharlie · 10-03-2010, 02:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adraco

Dress her up, grab some pictures and sell them as "drunken girlfriend" niche.

Genius! You see, there's an opportunity in every situation!

John-ACWM · 10-03-2010, 03:23 AM

Wait for her to wake up and make her clean her mess.

Sarah_Jayne · 10-03-2010, 05:22 AM

And like a loving partner you rush to tell strangers about it on GFY.

seeandsee · 10-03-2010, 06:29 AM

now cum on her face and clean it

10-03-2010, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seeandsee

now cum on her face and clean it

lol, sweet revenge at its worst

TheLegacy · 10-03-2010, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah_MaxCash

And like a loving partner you rush to tell strangers about it on GFY.

My thoughts exactly - why would you not help her out instead post it on gfy?

Antonio · 10-03-2010, 08:30 AM

sounds like a good plot for a romantic movie

potter · 10-03-2010, 09:03 AM

on the bright side, a soft detail usually only runs $40-$60. or you go for the real deal for around $150.

eroticsexxx · 10-03-2010, 10:12 AM

Being a member of one of my college's premier drinking teams (and being the person who often was the most "sober" to drive), I created the following rules. I can't remember them all, but I came up with these because I was tired of people puking in the various cars I had during my college years.

Rules for excessively drunk passengers (in sequential order):

#1 - Purchase (in advance) several of mini desk bins or trash liners. If you can get some of the ones pictured below, even better...

(by the way, a plastic bag full of puke makes for good entertainment later on). Also, get a roll of Bounty paper towels and a package of hair bands (drunk friends that have long hair will thank you for your foresight, trust me). These things will be placed under your seat, in a glove compartment or wherever you can reach them with one hand as quickly as possible.

#2 – When the situation of inebriation actually has occurred, there must be as much of a delay in leaving the bar, party, drinking event as possible. This allows time for some of the puke to leave its inebriated host.

#3 - Don't go on the highway if you can get to your destination on the local roads. It may take you longer to get home but there are multiple benefits to this:

a. getting pulled over is not fun when you have up to 3 or 4 drunk and rowdy persons in the car with you. Particularly if they are not yet at the "Oh shit, I'm gonna barf" stage. They are bound to do or say something stupid. Officers are more likely to appreciate the fact that you are taking your time to drive them home on the local roads as the "designated driver". (I also wrote another article in college about how to avoid a Breathalyzer/Sobriety test while plastered)

b. When the nausea begins, an inebriated passenger WILL have the bright idea that they need some fresh air. Do NOT open your windows if you are on a highway. Fast rushing air + especially drunk person = guaranteed puke spray along the side of your car (as well as in your car). They will attempt to stick their head out of the window or try to open the door to minimize their ‘vomitous’ mess. Once they start talking about fresh air, start rocking/swaying or perhaps getting strangely silent, immediately hand them the bin or plastic liner and if they refuse, insist on them at least holding it or putting it in their lap.

#4 - Once the puke starts to let loose, pull over smoothly (hand them a hair band) and be prepared to wait until they get to the point of dry heaving. If they suggest after the initial spew that they are okay, calmly suggest that since you are stopped already that they can continue. Usually moments after they begin to protest that they are fine, they will be interrupted by the second round of vomit. If they still want you to continue driving, simply hand them a paper towel and begin rubbing their back as they are hunched over the bin. Bystanders actually think that rubbing a person’s back makes a person feel better while they are vomiting, but actually the circular motions only exacerbate nausea.

#5 - Once they have gotten to the point when the majority of spewage appears to have left their stomach (read: The fountain of vomit has been reduced to a mere dribble), you can either help them tie the bag (and immediately give them another one) or empty the mini bin on the side of the road. Continue on your journey home, noting carefully that you may have to stop again. If the person is your girlfriend or roommate, help them indoors, making sure that they keep the plastic bag or bin in their hands. Oftentimes they will leave it in the car, which is a disaster if it’s the plastic bag scenario. This is also to avoid them puking inside your place randomly.

#6 - Take them directly to the bathroom and to the toilet. Do not stop to get them a drink of water if they ask and do not take them to their bedroom either. If you have a bathtub/walk-in shower, help them to get in and sit down. If not, get them a pillow to kneel/sit on after they are stationed squarely around the “porcelain oracle”. They will begin throwing up /dry heaving again almost instantly. If they are in the tub/shower they can throw up as they so please, because the worst case scenario is that they can simply take a shower in the morning (conveniently with the clothes they threw up all over). More supervision is needed with the toilet scenario though, as they might spew more readily on the floor.

#7 – Be sure to mentally catalog all occurrences for future instances of story-telling. In the end, the person in question will be very thankful for your preparedness and ability to handle their outright drunkenness. They will owe you. So make sure they compensate you in some friendly way or at the very least return the favor.

I had at least ten steps, but I can’t remember the rest. That’s the best I can do for now. If you find this useful (or have been taken care of by someone who has read these steps, please send paypal donations to [email protected] (LOL. I just had to add that.)

Vick! · 10-03-2010, 10:17 AM

pics* or it didn't happen.

* of girlfriend

bloggerz · 10-03-2010, 11:25 AM

been there..... dont want to have to do it again

martinsc · 10-03-2010, 11:36 AM

does she look like this?

ottopottomouse · 10-03-2010, 11:59 AM

It's a smell you never properly get rid of.

Ethersync · 10-03-2010, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Litzer

Puked all over the car. Went to MY friends wedding, she gets fucking plowed, pukes all over the car and now shes on the bathroom floor passed the fuck out.

FML.

edit: the whole car smells like garlic hummus and newcastle.

Also to make it clear, she puked inside the car. Driving about 50 mph down the highway she decided to open the door to puke and it sprayed everywhere inside.

www.plentyoffish.com

2intense · 10-03-2010, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by martinsc

does she look like this?

nice pic

Agent 488 · 10-03-2010, 12:14 PM

gmr324 · 10-03-2010, 12:16 PM

hopefully the experience of cleaning it up will cure her of repeating history

beerptrol · 10-03-2010, 12:39 PM

next time tell her if she's gonna spew, to spew into a cup

Serge Litehead · 10-03-2010, 12:42 PM

next time take puke bag with you in the car like airplanes used to have

Matyko · 10-03-2010, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzteK

with or without her?

:DDDDDDDDDDD

icymelon · 10-03-2010, 01:28 PM

hope shes ok and that she had a good time

Spunky · 10-03-2010, 02:21 PM

Why didn't you push her out on the road,so what if you're going 50

Badmaash · 10-03-2010, 02:25 PM

Give her one up the bum hole........

Frisky Cash · 10-03-2010, 03:35 PM

Always keep one in your car.

nico-t · 10-03-2010, 03:37 PM

stupid whore

u-Bob · 10-03-2010, 03:48 PM

time to buy a new car....

Litzer · 10-03-2010, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frisky Cash

Always keep one in your car.

Definately.

amateurcanada · 10-03-2010, 10:29 PM

lol aa and cheese www.fuckmysexlife.com

10-03-2010, 12:11 AM	#10
adult-help Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 2,450	pics or it didnt happen.. __________________ Adult web templates, Adult WordPress Themes, TGP, MGP.. also Complete Wordpress PaySite Development - Adult WordPress Blog Themes - Free FHG Templates - Free PaySite Script - Adult Tutorials Directory - Adult Domain Marketplace - Adult Jobs

10-03-2010, 01:10 AM	#11
LongBG Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Sesame Street Posts: 1,101	I am so glad you could share that with us all, the fine people of GFY who actually do NOT give a fuck __________________ Contact me: [email protected]

10-03-2010, 01:49 AM	#12
Loch Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 7,674	report the car stolen and push it off a cliff.... __________________ Contact us for Beta store access (4000 HD/SD productions) - Editing - Encoding/Post production ICQ - 277 862 930 E-mail casper /@/ cool-content.com

10-03-2010, 01:51 AM	#13
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10-03-2010, 01:51 AM	#14
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10-02-2010, 11:39 PM	#1
Litzer Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 480	My girlfriend just... Puked all over the car. Went to MY friends wedding, she gets fucking plowed, pukes all over the car and now shes on the bathroom floor passed the fuck out. FML. edit: the whole car smells like garlic hummus and newcastle. Also to make it clear, she puked inside the car. Driving about 50 mph down the highway she decided to open the door to puke and it sprayed everywhere inside. Last edited by Litzer; 10-02-2010 at 11:50 PM..

10-02-2010, 11:46 PM	#2
PornMD Mainstream Businessman Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: San Diego Posts: 9,291	Next time get the puke out of her before she gets in the car. __________________ Want to crush it in mainstream with Facebook ads? Hit me up.

10-02-2010, 11:47 PM	#3
Litzer Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 480	Fuck.. I think I will keep a plunger in the trunk from now on.

10-02-2010, 11:48 PM	#4
clicker Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Virtual Posts: 1,113	Give her ginger ale.

10-02-2010, 11:48 PM	#5
Oracle Porn Affiliate Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Icq: 94-399-723 Posts: 24,433	she'll be using her toothbrush to get it sparkling clean tomorrow. __________________

10-02-2010, 11:49 PM	#6
AzteK Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Northern Cali, USA Posts: 3,447	http://www.aa.org

10-02-2010, 11:51 PM	#8
AzteK Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Northern Cali, USA Posts: 3,447	pictures pls. we can asses the situation better...

10-03-2010, 01:53 AM	#15
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10-03-2010, 01:57 AM	#16
Jdoughs Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Great White North Posts: 5,794	What smells better, new GF smell or new car smell? __________________ LinkSpun - Premier Adult Link Trading Community - ICQ - 464/\281/\250 Be Seen By New Webmasters/Affiliates * Target out webmasters/affiliates based on niches your sites are for less than $20 a month. AmeriNOC - Proudly hosted @ AmeriNOC!

10-03-2010, 02:47 AM	#19
Adraco Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2009 Location: Onboard an airplane around the globe Posts: 3,737	Dress her up, grab some pictures and sell them as "druken girlfriend" nieche. Use the money to turn your car in for cleaning service. __________________ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The truth is not affected by the beliefs, or doubts, of the majority.

10-03-2010, 03:23 AM	#21
John-ACWM Work Work Work Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: EU Posts: 20,060	Wait for her to wake up and make her clean her mess. __________________ Video Chat Forum

10-03-2010, 05:22 AM	#22
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	And like a loving partner you rush to tell strangers about it on GFY.

10-03-2010, 06:29 AM	#23
seeandsee Check SIG! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Europe (Skype: gojkoas) Posts: 50,945	now cum on her face and clean it __________________ BUY MY SIG - 50$/Year Contact here

10-03-2010, 08:30 AM	#26
Antonio Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Spartaaaaaaaaa Posts: 14,136	sounds like a good plot for a romantic movie

10-03-2010, 09:03 AM	#27
potter Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Denver Posts: 6,559	on the bright side, a soft detail usually only runs $40-$60. or you go for the real deal for around $150. __________________

10-03-2010, 10:12 AM	#28
eroticsexxx Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Nassau, Bahamas Posts: 3,133	Being a member of one of my college's premier drinking teams (and being the person who often was the most "sober" to drive), I created the following rules. I can't remember them all, but I came up with these because I was tired of people puking in the various cars I had during my college years. Rules for excessively drunk passengers (in sequential order): #1 - Purchase (in advance) several of mini desk bins or trash liners. If you can get some of the ones pictured below, even better... (by the way, a plastic bag full of puke makes for good entertainment later on). Also, get a roll of Bounty paper towels and a package of hair bands (drunk friends that have long hair will thank you for your foresight, trust me). These things will be placed under your seat, in a glove compartment or wherever you can reach them with one hand as quickly as possible. #2 – When the situation of inebriation actually has occurred, there must be as much of a delay in leaving the bar, party, drinking event as possible. This allows time for some of the puke to leave its inebriated host. #3 - Don't go on the highway if you can get to your destination on the local roads. It may take you longer to get home but there are multiple benefits to this: a. getting pulled over is not fun when you have up to 3 or 4 drunk and rowdy persons in the car with you. Particularly if they are not yet at the "Oh shit, I'm gonna barf" stage. They are bound to do or say something stupid. Officers are more likely to appreciate the fact that you are taking your time to drive them home on the local roads as the "designated driver". (I also wrote another article in college about how to avoid a Breathalyzer/Sobriety test while plastered) b. When the nausea begins, an inebriated passenger WILL have the bright idea that they need some fresh air. Do NOT open your windows if you are on a highway. Fast rushing air + especially drunk person = guaranteed puke spray along the side of your car (as well as in your car). They will attempt to stick their head out of the window or try to open the door to minimize their ‘vomitous’ mess. Once they start talking about fresh air, start rocking/swaying or perhaps getting strangely silent, immediately hand them the bin or plastic liner and if they refuse, insist on them at least holding it or putting it in their lap. #4 - Once the puke starts to let loose, pull over smoothly (hand them a hair band) and be prepared to wait until they get to the point of dry heaving. If they suggest after the initial spew that they are okay, calmly suggest that since you are stopped already that they can continue. Usually moments after they begin to protest that they are fine, they will be interrupted by the second round of vomit. If they still want you to continue driving, simply hand them a paper towel and begin rubbing their back as they are hunched over the bin. Bystanders actually think that rubbing a person’s back makes a person feel better while they are vomiting, but actually the circular motions only exacerbate nausea. #5 - Once they have gotten to the point when the majority of spewage appears to have left their stomach (read: The fountain of vomit has been reduced to a mere dribble), you can either help them tie the bag (and immediately give them another one) or empty the mini bin on the side of the road. Continue on your journey home, noting carefully that you may have to stop again. If the person is your girlfriend or roommate, help them indoors, making sure that they keep the plastic bag or bin in their hands. Oftentimes they will leave it in the car, which is a disaster if it’s the plastic bag scenario. This is also to avoid them puking inside your place randomly. #6 - Take them directly to the bathroom and to the toilet. Do not stop to get them a drink of water if they ask and do not take them to their bedroom either. If you have a bathtub/walk-in shower, help them to get in and sit down. If not, get them a pillow to kneel/sit on after they are stationed squarely around the “porcelain oracle”. They will begin throwing up /dry heaving again almost instantly. If they are in the tub/shower they can throw up as they so please, because the worst case scenario is that they can simply take a shower in the morning (conveniently with the clothes they threw up all over). More supervision is needed with the toilet scenario though, as they might spew more readily on the floor. #7 – Be sure to mentally catalog all occurrences for future instances of story-telling. In the end, the person in question will be very thankful for your preparedness and ability to handle their outright drunkenness. They will owe you. So make sure they compensate you in some friendly way or at the very least return the favor. I had at least ten steps, but I can’t remember the rest. That’s the best I can do for now. If you find this useful (or have been taken care of by someone who has read these steps, please send paypal donations to [email protected] (LOL. I just had to add that.) __________________ Last edited by eroticsexxx; 10-03-2010 at 10:17 AM..

10-03-2010, 10:17 AM	#29
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10-03-2010, 11:25 AM	#30
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10-03-2010, 11:36 AM	#31
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10-03-2010, 11:59 AM	#32
ottopottomouse She is ugly, bad luck. Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 13,177	It's a smell you never properly get rid of. __________________ ↑ see post ↑ 13101

10-03-2010, 12:14 PM	#35
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10-03-2010, 12:16 PM	#36
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10-03-2010, 12:39 PM	#37
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10-03-2010, 12:42 PM	#38
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10-03-2010, 01:28 PM	#40
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10-03-2010, 02:21 PM	#41
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10-03-2010, 02:25 PM	#42
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10-03-2010, 03:35 PM	#43
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10-03-2010, 03:37 PM	#44
nico-t emperor of my world Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: nethalands Posts: 29,903	stupid whore

10-03-2010, 03:48 PM	#45
u-Bob there's no $$$ in porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: icq: 195./568.-230 (btw: not getting offline msgs) Posts: 33,063	time to buy a new car....