Help! I think I knocked up a hooker! - GoFuckYourself.com

mongoose403 · 01-03-2003, 06:30 PM

been having fun with this girl off and on for about 6 months, now she says she is pregnant and is gonna fuck my shit up unless I take care of her ($$$$$)... waiting for the tests..

any advice?

greentea · 01-03-2003, 06:31 PM

run as fast and far as you possibly can

galleriesx · 01-03-2003, 06:33 PM

My father always had a good work for these kind of situations.

Bring her for a little trip to the Niagara Falls... an accident may happen so quickly.

Gutterboy · 01-03-2003, 06:34 PM

Watch The Shawshank Redemption.

That should give you enough motivation to cash out, change your name, and move to a small coastal town in Mexico.

jimmy3way · 01-03-2003, 06:34 PM

File a police report:

"Hello officer, this hooker stole my sperm. Who KNOWS what she's gonna do with it!!!!"

01-03-2003, 06:35 PM

If I were you I would remove the sock from your right foot, place the gun barrel in your mouth and pull the trigger with the big toe of your right foot.

Or get a good lawyer.

AWC · 01-03-2003, 06:35 PM

dumb dumb da dumb...

greentea · 01-03-2003, 06:36 PM

Also if you have the baby, get your self checked for STD's, it would be a terrible thing if this baby has some disease.

NetBabe · 01-03-2003, 06:36 PM

ROFL!

Umm I agree RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!

PaulSweet · 01-03-2003, 06:37 PM

if its your kid you're gonna be fucked again but this time wont be so much fun....

Libertine · 01-03-2003, 06:39 PM

#1 get checked for std's
#2 bang your head against the wall 10 times for being an idiot
#3 get a lawyer
#4 repeat #2

Fletch XXX · 01-03-2003, 06:39 PM

Great another diseased baby to a mom who feeds her child by using her pussy ass and mouth.

Moms are such wonderful people these days.

Youre a fool for even fucking her.

Condomless? Geez man.

Razors are cheaper than this is gonna cost you.

nocostporn · 01-03-2003, 06:41 PM

nobody will miss a hooker...snuff her

mongoose403 · 01-03-2003, 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NetBabe
ROFL!

Umm I agree RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!

I'm glad you could find some humour...

greentea · 01-03-2003, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by nocostporn
nobody will miss a hooker...snuff her

Oh shit haha

Beastiepoo · 01-03-2003, 06:43 PM

I can't figure out why you weren't using a fucking condom?? Did you just fall off the hay wagon from 1940's Iowa?

You are gonna get so screwed by this.

GTS Mark · 01-03-2003, 06:43 PM

Dooooooooooh!

DH

greentea · 01-03-2003, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fletch XXX
Great another diseased baby to a mom who feeds her child by using her pussy ass and mouth.

Moms are such wonderful people these days.

Youre a fool for even fucking her.

Condomless? Geez man.

Razors are cheaper than this is gonna cost you.

Well said

Niki · 01-03-2003, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by punkworld
#1 get checked for std's
#2 bang your head against the wall 10 times for being an idiot
#3 get a lawyer
#4 repeat #2

MuleScrote · 01-03-2003, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fletch XXX
Great another diseased baby to a mom who feeds her child by using her pussy ass and mouth.

Moms are such wonderful people these days.

Youre a fool for even fucking her.

Condomless? Geez man.

Razors are cheaper than this is gonna cost you.

Couldn't have said it better myself...

Cheshire · 01-03-2003, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mongoose403
been having fun with this girl off and on for about 6 months, now she says she is pregnant and is gonna fuck my shit up unless I take care of her ($$$$$)... waiting for the tests..

any advice?

You can't test for paternity before a baby is born.

greentea · 01-03-2003, 06:44 PM

Do you keep a loaded gun in the house?

Now is the time to use it..

quiet · 01-03-2003, 06:45 PM

i'd pull all my money, and leave the country.

doing a hooker with no condom was amazingly fucking stupid. do you have a tendency to put yourself on self-destruction paths? did she tell you she was 'on the pill'?

mongoose403 · 01-03-2003, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fletch XXX
Great another diseased baby to a mom who feeds her child by using her pussy ass and mouth.

Moms are such wonderful people these days.

Youre a fool for even fucking her.

Condomless? Geez man.

Razors are cheaper than this is gonna cost you.

I used a condom everytime, but I didnt like carrying them in my pockets so I used the ones she had in her place, I can remember them breaking only 3-4 times.

ALWAYS USE LUBE!!!!!

Rep · 01-03-2003, 06:45 PM

Is she really a hooker - or just a slut? Does she have a drug problem? Can she get dust? Hit me up.

157711456

Gutterboy · 01-03-2003, 06:46 PM

Abortion Clinic Directory

sherbert · 01-03-2003, 06:47 PM

Rep · 01-03-2003, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gutterboy
Abortion Clinics Online

coat hanger and queludes

01-03-2003, 06:48 PM

If you're serious and not fucking around, try to talk to her and ask her if she'll get an abortion. Even if you have to pay her off. Give her $10,000.

That sounds sick I know, but just think of the life this kid would have with a hooker for a mother. Unless of course you want to start a legal battle to gain custody when the child is born. If she's really a hooker it shouldn't be too hard to prove her unfit.

If you're out fucking hookers I can't imagine that you would want to start looking after a child. You're in for rough times no matter what you do.

mongoose403 · 01-03-2003, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cheshire
You can't test for paternity before a baby is born.

Chessy-

I'm talking about STD tests..

goBigtime · 01-03-2003, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cheshire
You can't test for paternity before a baby is born.

doh. You beat me to it.. I was scanning the thread to see if someone mentioned this slight oversight.

Perhaps he meant waiting for the pregnancy results? Though I would think shes going to come up pregnant irregardless of if she is or not. I mean if hes messing around with a hooker, without a condom... my bet is this girl is going after some quick & easy money, "I'm preganant! Pay me!".

Shes a hooker for fucks sake... you think your the only person she has unprotected sex with?

Sassyass · 01-03-2003, 06:54 PM

When ever I fuck hookers, (which is every night) I never use condoms. I welcome AIDS, Crabs, and the plethora of fun and exciting blotches and sores that form around my privates. After I screw them I slap them around a bit so their pimp comes and beats me with in inches of my life. In the event that they get pregnant, I ask for full custody of the child and raise them myself. I am usually able to work a deal out for compensation. Most of the time, it involves crack, power tools, and a plastic Santa clause.

Gutterboy · 01-03-2003, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cheshire
You can't test for paternity before a baby is born.

You can get prenatal paternity testing done via amniocentesis

Lethal · 01-03-2003, 06:56 PM

Just kill her and feed the body to the pigs. No body + no murder weapon + no witnesses = no case.

Failing that a few good kicks to the stomach should do the trick, or you could just kill yourself instead.

Just imagine the poor child going through life knowing it's mother was a whore.

goBigtime · 01-03-2003, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mongoose403

I used a condom everytime, but I didnt like carrying them in my pockets so I used the ones she had in her place, I can remember them breaking only 3-4 times.

ALWAYS USE LUBE!!!!!

She just needs some money for something and is playing you. Did she recently ask you for a loan or something (maybe within the last couple months) or mention any recent financial hardships (like hinting that she might be open to a loan?). Unless shes totally fucked up in the head, she would probably try one of those more passive attempts to snatch your cash first.

In any case, tell her you are going to hire a PI to track and get in touch with all her John's to make sure that she isn't pulling the same thing on any of them as well

galleriesx · 01-03-2003, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by greentea
Do you keep a loaded gun in the house?

Now is the time to use it..

Yeah... invite her home, shoot her, break your door and call the police for self defense kill following a home intrusion

Lethal · 01-03-2003, 07:00 PM

And for future reference:

Up the bum = no babies.

Sassyass · 01-03-2003, 07:03 PM

HOOKER:

Hey baby, here's our new son..

goggles22 · 01-03-2003, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lethal
And for future reference:

Up the bum = no babies.

Dusen · 01-03-2003, 07:08 PM

Quote:

And for future reference:

Up the bum = no babies.

Urmm. Try again.

OneHungLo · 01-03-2003, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mongoose403
been having fun with this girl off and on for about 6 months, now she says she is pregnant and is gonna fuck my shit up unless I take care of her ($$$$$)... waiting for the tests..

any advice?

Start hiding your money NOW! I have no clue what your financial status is but if you make alot she's def, gonna get her fingers on some of it.

greentea · 01-03-2003, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sassyass
HOOKER:

Hey baby, here's our new son..

LOL

NetRodent · 01-03-2003, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gutterboy
Watch The Shawshank Redemption.

That should give you enough motivation to cash out, change your name, and move to a small coastal town in Mexico.

Like Zihuatanejo?

NoCarrier · 01-03-2003, 07:46 PM

Just pretend you are gay for the next couple of years..

Suck hundreds of cocks, hangout in the gay village.. etc..

You will then have an alibi.

Jack Tripper did it in the seventies in Three's Company. You can too. Good luck

High Quality · 01-03-2003, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cheshire
You can't test for paternity before a baby is born.

Yes you can. The docs just stick a huge needle into the pregnant belly and draw fluid. Same way they do it to test for various diseases like MS, CP and aids.

Sarah_Jayne · 01-03-2003, 08:36 PM

or you could face up to it and take responsibility for your actions. If she really is a hooker, come on a condom? All this about how it is going to mess your life up. It might just mess hers up a bit too.

nuclei · 01-03-2003, 09:42 PM

First off, why the FUCK would you do a hooker, who prolly does a number of men daily, every day, without protection???

nuclei · 01-03-2003, 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sarah_webinc
or you could face up to it and take responsibility for your actions. If she really is a hooker, come on a condom? All this about how it is going to mess your life up. It might just mess hers up a bit too.

Sarah, if he wanted to take responsibility he would not have been using a hooker, he would have found a single mother and told her he loved her.......

Also, how can it fuck up the hookers life? SHE is the service and should have made sure her shit was covered.

Lethal · 01-03-2003, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sarah_webinc
or you could face up to it and take responsibility for your actions. If she really is a hooker, come on a condom? All this about how it is going to mess your life up. It might just mess hers up a bit too.

Who gives a fuck, she's just a dirty hoo-er.

greentea · 01-03-2003, 09:48 PM

I hope this guy went out and got an STD'S test, if not go do it asap.

You cant be a father to a hooker baby if your dead of aids!

01-03-2003, 06:34 PM	#5
jimmy3way Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Top Secret Hideout Posts: 2,508	File a police report: "Hello officer, this hooker stole my sperm. Who KNOWS what she's gonna do with it!!!!" __________________ One thing, I forgot this last detail: the Biz Markie will always prevail.

01-03-2003, 06:36 PM	#8
greentea Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: South Florida Posts: 6,580	Also if you have the baby, get your self checked for STD's, it would be a terrible thing if this baby has some disease. __________________ blunts

01-03-2003, 06:36 PM	#9
NetBabe Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 348	ROFL! Umm I agree RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!! __________________ NetBabe wickedbucks.com wickedpictures.com

01-03-2003, 06:37 PM	#10
PaulSweet Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Vancouver, Canada Posts: 1,094	if its your kid you're gonna be fucked again but this time wont be so much fun.... __________________ PG4L! Home to the MAX HARDCORE video Plugin!

01-03-2003, 06:39 PM	#11
Libertine sex dwarf Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 17,860	#1 get checked for std's #2 bang your head against the wall 10 times for being an idiot #3 get a lawyer #4 repeat #2 __________________ /(bb\|[^b]{2})/

01-03-2003, 06:30 PM	#1
mongoose403 Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: wild ho country Posts: 143	Help! I think I knocked up a hooker! been having fun with this girl off and on for about 6 months, now she says she is pregnant and is gonna fuck my shit up unless I take care of her ($$$$$)... waiting for the tests.. any advice? __________________ .

01-03-2003, 06:31 PM	#2
greentea Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: South Florida Posts: 6,580	run as fast and far as you possibly can __________________ blunts

01-03-2003, 06:33 PM	#3
galleriesx Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Switzerland Posts: 108	My father always had a good work for these kind of situations. Bring her for a little trip to the Niagara Falls... an accident may happen so quickly.

01-03-2003, 06:34 PM	#4
Gutterboy So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Dis Posts: 4,751	Watch The Shawshank Redemption. That should give you enough motivation to cash out, change your name, and move to a small coastal town in Mexico.

01-03-2003, 06:35 PM	#6
evildick Guest Posts: n/a	If I were you I would remove the sock from your right foot, place the gun barrel in your mouth and pull the trigger with the big toe of your right foot. Or get a good lawyer.

01-03-2003, 06:35 PM	#7
AWC Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Bumfuck Posts: 1,223	dumb dumb da dumb...

01-03-2003, 06:39 PM	#12
Fletch XXX GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: that 504 Posts: 60,840	Great another diseased baby to a mom who feeds her child by using her pussy ass and mouth. Moms are such wonderful people these days. Youre a fool for even fucking her. Condomless? Geez man. Razors are cheaper than this is gonna cost you. __________________ Want an Android App for your tube, membership, or free site? Need banners or promo material? Hit us up (ICQ Fletch: 148841377) or email me fletchxxx at gmail.com - recent work - About me Last edited by Fletch XXX; 01-03-2003 at 06:41 PM..

01-03-2003, 06:41 PM	#13
nocostporn Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Maryland Posts: 5,228	nobody will miss a hooker...snuff her __________________ CashTheChecks.com -coming soon- "Exclusive sites for Exclusive Webmasters" ICQ-119966868,add me first don't message

01-03-2003, 06:43 PM	#16
Beastiepoo Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: In a clog shop thinking about tulips Posts: 1,971	I can't figure out why you weren't using a fucking condom?? Did you just fall off the hay wagon from 1940's Iowa? You are gonna get so screwed by this. __________________ Dammit! My timing SUCKS! Hot body piercing jewellery at discounted prices - Click here! Got Goth traffic?? Make money with it at DarkPassions - Click Here!

01-03-2003, 06:43 PM	#17
GTS Mark Vrume Mark Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 20,912	Dooooooooooh! DH

01-03-2003, 06:44 PM	#22
greentea Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: South Florida Posts: 6,580	Do you keep a loaded gun in the house? Now is the time to use it.. __________________ blunts

01-03-2003, 06:45 PM	#23
quiet we'll miss you our friend. RIP Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Fernie, BC Posts: 25,115	i'd pull all my money, and leave the country. doing a hooker with no condom was amazingly fucking stupid. do you have a tendency to put yourself on self-destruction paths? did she tell you she was 'on the pill'? __________________ we'll miss you our friend. RIP Last edited by quiet; 01-03-2003 at 06:46 PM..

01-03-2003, 06:45 PM	#25
Rep Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 991	Is she really a hooker - or just a slut? Does she have a drug problem? Can she get dust? Hit me up. 157711456 __________________ who \| grep -i blonde \| date; cd ~; unzip; touch; strip; finger; mount; gasp; yes; uptime; umount; sleep

01-03-2003, 06:46 PM	#26
Gutterboy So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Dis Posts: 4,751	Abortion Clinic Directory

01-03-2003, 06:47 PM	#27
sherbert Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: KAGAWA, Japan Posts: 470	__________________ sdfsdfsdvgf

01-03-2003, 06:48 PM	#29
evildick Guest Posts: n/a	If you're serious and not fucking around, try to talk to her and ask her if she'll get an abortion. Even if you have to pay her off. Give her $10,000. That sounds sick I know, but just think of the life this kid would have with a hooker for a mother. Unless of course you want to start a legal battle to gain custody when the child is born. If she's really a hooker it shouldn't be too hard to prove her unfit. If you're out fucking hookers I can't imagine that you would want to start looking after a child. You're in for rough times no matter what you do.

01-03-2003, 06:54 PM	#32
Sassyass Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 1,101	When ever I fuck hookers, (which is every night) I never use condoms. I welcome AIDS, Crabs, and the plethora of fun and exciting blotches and sores that form around my privates. After I screw them I slap them around a bit so their pimp comes and beats me with in inches of my life. In the event that they get pregnant, I ask for full custody of the child and raise them myself. I am usually able to work a deal out for compensation. Most of the time, it involves crack, power tools, and a plastic Santa clause.

01-03-2003, 06:56 PM	#34
Lethal Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 494	Just kill her and feed the body to the pigs. No body + no murder weapon + no witnesses = no case. Failing that a few good kicks to the stomach should do the trick, or you could just kill yourself instead. Just imagine the poor child going through life knowing it's mother was a whore.

01-03-2003, 07:00 PM	#37
Lethal Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 494	And for future reference: Up the bum = no babies.

01-03-2003, 07:03 PM	#38
Sassyass Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 1,101	HOOKER: Hey baby, here's our new son..

01-03-2003, 07:46 PM	#44
NoCarrier We need more free porn Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Montreal Posts: 16,356	Just pretend you are gay for the next couple of years.. Suck hundreds of cocks, hangout in the gay village.. etc.. You will then have an alibi. Jack Tripper did it in the seventies in Three's Company. You can too. Good luck __________________ Last edited by NoCarrier; 01-03-2003 at 07:47 PM..

01-03-2003, 08:36 PM	#46
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	or you could face up to it and take responsibility for your actions. If she really is a hooker, come on a condom? All this about how it is going to mess your life up. It might just mess hers up a bit too.

01-03-2003, 09:42 PM	#47
nuclei old school fart Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: Florida Posts: 1,015	First off, why the FUCK would you do a hooker, who prolly does a number of men daily, every day, without protection??? __________________ The next generation of SEO

01-03-2003, 09:48 PM	#50
greentea Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: South Florida Posts: 6,580	I hope this guy went out and got an STD'S test, if not go do it asap. You cant be a father to a hooker baby if your dead of aids! __________________ blunts